


Together, Until the End

by eahuhse



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Canon-Typical Violence, Coming Out, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Fluff, Gay Spencer Reid, Healing, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kidnapping, Lesbian Emily Prentiss, Love, Loving boyfriends, M/M, Original Character(s), Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Protective BAU Team (Criminal Minds), Psychological Trauma, Sexual Assault, Supportive BAU Family, The BAU Team as Family (Criminal Minds), Trans Male Character, Trauma, bisexual penelope garcia, top surgery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:33:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 35
Words: 43,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29794731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eahuhse/pseuds/eahuhse
Summary: Agent Corey Dorian is the newest recruit to the BAU, and he quickly becomes a part of the family. But he has a secret to tell, he wasn't born Corey. When his past comes to haunt him, will his new team stand with him or abandon him?
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Spencer Reid/Original Male Character(s), The BAU Team & Original Character(s)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I've been working on this for a while and I'm excited to share it with you all. A couple warnings first!  
> There will be mentions of abuse, trauma, self-harm and depression. I will leave individual warnings on chapters but please read at your own risk.  
> The story will follow the BAU team on cases, so mentions of murder, assault, etc.
> 
> Be polite in the comments, I will be moderating them. I appreciate any and all feedback so let me know what you think!

As the elevator doors opened, Corey Dorian straightened his tie and took a slow breath before walking to the glass doors of his future. He pushed them open, gazing around the room he recognized from the multiple interviews he had been through.

“Agent Dorian, up here please.” The voice snatched his attention, and he looked up to see Agent Hotchner waving him over.

He rushed across the room, not sparing anyone else a glance as he made his way up to his new unit chief’s office. He could hear murmuring behind him, but tried to ignore it. He walked into the office, and sat in front of the pristine desk.

“So, I’d like to formally welcome you to the BAU. As you know, it’s a fairly small team and we are quite close. I’m sure the others will warm up to you quickly.”

“Thank you, Agent Hotchner.” Corey said, smiling as he tried to hide the questions bubbling in his brain.

“What is it? I can tell there’s something bothering you.”

“Oh, no...it’s just…” Corey sighed, thinking of the best way to phrase his thoughts. “Only you and Chief Strauss know of my…dilemma, yes?”

“If you’re talking about the fact that you are transgender, yes we’re the only two who know. I leave it up to you to inform the rest of the team.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you.”

“Is that all?” Agent Hotchner asked, his posture and tone almost intimidating Corey.

“Um, yes. I’ll just, go find my desk. Thank you Agent Hotchner.”

“Call me Hotch.” Corey blinked at the sudden friendliness in his unit chief’s voice. “Everyone else does. Your desk should be down in the bullpen, probably next to Reid or Prentiss.”

Corey smiled and walked out of the office, down into the bullpen where the team members quickly separated from a small group they had formed around a desk.

“Hi, you must be the new team member.” A young man with curled brown hair greeted him.

“Yeah, I’m Corey Dorian.”

“Spencer Reid, um...over there is Emily Prentiss,” he gestured to a dark haired woman sitting across from him, “and Derek Morgan.” A more muscular, dark-skinned man waved from his desk.

“There are more team members right?” Corey asked, which made Morgan laugh.

“Oh yeah, they’re just in different offices.” he responded, gesturing to the other two doors that were positioned next to Hotch’s.

Corey nodded, before pointing to the empty desk by Reid.

“Is that one mine?”

“Yep, all yours. Feel free to ask any questions, it’s a bit hectic to start.”

Corey smiled before taking a seat and turning his computer on. He opened his bag, pulling out a small framed photo of him and his best friend from home. He put it next to his computer before logging in and opening his new email.

The rest of the morning went smoothly, with Corey setting up everything he needed. As afternoon approached, one of the other office doors opened and a man that could be called a celebrity in the bureau, David Rossi.

“New kid, huh? Nice.”

“Uh, it’s an honor…” Corey stumbled to his feet and extended a hand, “sir. Agent Rossi.”

“Okay, drop the formalities, sit down for a minute.” He turned back to the rest of the team. “I’m out for lunch, don’t do anything too stupid while I’m gone?”

Morgan waved a goodbye, while Prentiss chuckled before turning to Corey.

“You want to grab something to eat? You must be hungry.”

“Sure, sounds good.” Corey smiled, following Prentiss to the glass doors.

“Wait!” Reid called, chasing after them both. “I’m hungry too.”

“All the brain power taking your energy?” Prentiss joked.

“Emily, it’s science-” Reid began to argue, but Corey couldn’t let a chuckle escape his lips which stopped the profiler in his tracks.

Corey froze as well, thinking he offended his coworker on his first day.

“Ah, glad the new kid has a sense of humor.”

“Emily…” Reid whined, before smiling at Corey. “It’s fine, sometimes I get out of hand.”

“No! No, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-”

“Hey, it’s alright. We know you didn’t mean any harm.” Prentiss reassured as they entered the elevator together.

“Sorry, I’ve never really had that many friends.” Corey mumbled, and both agents smiled sadly at him.

“Well, we can change that. Call me Emily, screw formality.”

“You can call me Spencer if you want…”

“I think I prefer Reid, but we’ll see. Thank you.”

“Okay, now let's get some food, I’m starving.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corey gets to know his new team members a bit better, and he gets started on his first case with the team.

Over the week, Corey adapted more to the team’s environment. He introduced himself to their media liaison JJ and the tech analyst Penelope Garcia. He had filled out lots of paperwork and even submitted a few preliminary profiles for smaller cases that the bureau was presented with.

He hoped that Hotch and the rest of the team would be impressed, but he also knew that the real test would come when he was taken out into the field. His chance came sooner than he would have hoped.

As he prepared his morning coffee along with Reid, chatting aimlessly about their weekend and what they did. JJ came walking in with a load of case files in her arm, and Reid sighed before she could say anything.

“Looks like a case.”

“You sure?”

“Mmhmm, she only looks like that when it’s a case.”

He sighed before chugging his coffee and walking to his desk. Corey followed, bringing his mug to his desk and waiting for the call from Hotch to meet at the round table. Emily noticed the discomfort in Corey’s posture, reaching across the divider between their desks to pass him a note.

_You okay?_

Corey glanced it over, before smiling at Emily and turning back to his computer.

“Everyone in the round table, 10 minutes.” Hotch called from his office, and Corey sighed as he grabbed his phone and coffee, moving into the room and taking a seat before anyone else got there.

His foot tapped against the floor anxiously and he tried to calm it, knowing the rest of the team would read him like an open book. The rest of the team filed in and he quickly calmed himself. Morgan grinned at him from his seat, whereas Reid and Emily looked slightly more concerned. Hotch and Rossi joined them with Garcia and JJ rushing in last.

"Okay, so we're dealing with a series of kidnappings of young, blonde women. The victims all were held, tortured and then drugged to induce temporary amnesia."

"So they don't remember anything?" Morgan asked as he flipped through his files.

"Yeah, the first few victims have a small amount of memory, but nothing about who kidnapped them or where they were kept. The families all receive notes from the unsub, that’s how police knew they were connected even prior to the similarities in their injuries."

"The unsub clearly gets off on knowing his victims are out there still suffering after he's done with them. There's some serious scars from the injuries he inflicted." Hotch noted as he glanced over pictures.

"Where are they found?" Corey asked.

"Normally they're dropped at a random location with a cellphone to call 9-1-1." JJ explained, pulling up a series of photos on the main screen.

"Alright, wheels up in 30." Hotch muttered before leaving the room, and Corey nodded.

He went to his desk and grabbed his go bag from underneath. Emily walked with him to the elevator, her own bag clutched in her hands.

"Do you need a ride to the airport?"

"I'd appreciate it, seeing as I normally bike to work."

"What? How close do you live?" Emily asked as her eyes widened.

"About a half hour by bike. It serves as good exercise, and it gives me time to think." Corey explained, knowing it wasn't the usual transport one would expect for a federal agent.

As they approached Emily's car, Corey did his best to not let the anxiety of actually being on a case get to him. The more build up, the more anxious he became.

"It's okay to be nervous. But no one expects you to be perfect the first time around." Emily said as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"I'm not nervous because of that...I just have never really been able to go out into the field. Most of my other positions in the bureau were office jobs."

Emily nodded, and quickly switched to lighter conversation to try and make the mood more comfortable. Corey was grateful for it, as it did help him relax more.

As they boarded the jet, Hotch was already waiting for them. No one else seemed to be around, and Emily excused herself to make a phone call before they left.

"Agent Dorian, will you be okay to be out in the field with us?" Hotch asked, breaking the silence of the plane.

“Yes, I just don’t have much experience.”

“I didn’t hire you for your experience in the field. I chose you because you are an excellent profiler, and from what I’ve seen I know you will be a great help to our team. I want you to feel confident that you can help us all deliver a coherent profile.”

“Yes sir, I can.”

“That’s all I need to know.” Hotch said with a small smile. Emily returned as Reid and Morgan joined them on the plane. The rest of the team, excluding Garcia, followed and the plane was in the air shortly thereafter.

They continued going over case details on the plane, with new updates coming from the local police as another victim showed up and was taken to the hospital. Corey was assigned to help Reid develop a geographical profile of where the victims had been abandoned and see if there was a pattern. When they arrived at the local police station, Reid and Corey immediately got to work. 

“This torture level is insane Reid, this seems so personal.” Corey muttered as he glanced from images of the victims to the map they had on a board.

“I never get why people need to torture to feel better.”

“People have to release pressure some way. Some of us have healthy coping mechanisms, others...well it’s all down to circumstance and upbringing right?”

“I guess, but this isn't coping. It’s torture, plain and simple. There’s no remorse, just cold action.”

Corey sighed, turning back to the table to drink some water. Reid sat with him, glancing up at the board occasionally as he tried to think of solutions. The phone rang, startling both of them, and Reid answered quickly.

“Hotch? Yeah, we can get started on that…mmhmm, I will.” He hung up the phone and turned to Corey. “We have another person abducted, we need to go see her family.”

“Let’s go.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corey continues to work the case with the team, but when they go for dinner with Emily and Reid things go somewhat awry.

When they pulled up to the house, Corey felt his stomach turn. Reid sighed as he unbuckled his seatbelt, glancing once at him before getting out and walking to the door. Corey followed, cursing under his breath.

“Just stay calm, try to not mention case details.” Reid instructed as Corey knocked on the door.

It opened to reveal an older couple, the woman in tears and the man holding her in a protective hug.

“Hi...um, we’re with the F.B.I. I’m Agent Dorian, this is Dr. Reid.”

“Oh, of course. Come in.” the man said, bringing them inside to sit in the living room. “Our daughter, Melaine, went missing yesterday night. We received a note, and…”

“I understand sir.” Corey stopped him before he could continue. “What is Melaine like? Quiet, shy, outspoken?”

“We raised her to be approachable, she never had trouble making new friends and getting along socially with others. Good grades, she was looking to graduate from college next year.”

“Sir, I can reassure you both that your daughter is alive. Is there anything she said, someone she had met?”

“Uh…no, not to my-”

“She said she was going to meet with friends. She said her one girlfriend there had a new boy she was supposed to meet.” Reid’s head shot up as the mother finally spoke.

“Do you have a name?”

“No…”

“Thank you ma’am. We’ll contact you as soon as we have any more information regarding Melaine.” Corey said as they both stood to leave.

Once they made it back to the car, Reid called Hotch on his cell.

“Hey Hotch, we might have something new.”

“Yeah?”

“The newest victim’s mother said that she was going to meet a friend and her new boyfriend. Could it be possible we’re looking for a team? They lure the girls out and then take them?”

“It’s possible, I’ll send Rossi to interview the other girls’ families, see if they had a similar story leading up to their abductions. Good work both of you.”

With that, Hotch hung up and Reid let out a slow breath.

“I can drive back if you want.” Corey offered, and Reid nodded. They switched seats in the car and headed back towards the police station.

The day dragged on with fewer leads than they could have hoped for, and eventually Hotch called it a night.

“Get some rest, I expect to see you all here bright and early.”

Emily, Reid and Corey made their way to the hotel together. None of them could get the case off their minds.

“Do you guys want to get dinner? I know I won’t sleep for a while still.” Corey asked, and both of them willingly agreed.

They found themselves in a small diner, a few other tables filled but for the most part it was empty. They all placed their orders, and they started talking about the case as best they could.

“Can I be honest, I’m not sure how much more of this kidnapping talk I can take. Just tell me about yourselves.” Corey said as their food arrived.

“What do you want to know?” Emily asked, grabbing a fry off of Reid’s plate.

“Do you have any hobbies? Things you do in your free time?”

"Free time? What's that?" Reid laughed, and Corey rolled his eyes.

"I spend time with my cat, Sergio. Visit friends, go for girls nights, that kind of stuff." Emily detailed before digging into her food.

"I mostly read, watch tv and stuff like that. I'll play chess in the park once in a while." Reid said, before pointing at Corey. "Your turn."

"Oh, I...well I mostly just try to keep busy. Sports, reading, whatever keeps me moving and out of my mind."

"Something you don't like thinking about?"

"I think we all have those moments, Reid." Emily cut in before Corey could answer.

"Nothing terrible, just some days it's better to not think about it all yeah? I just keep busy and throw myself into work when I get the chance."

"You should join us for girls night when we get back! It's always a good way to get to know us."

_ She knows. She must know. _

"Um, it's okay. Thanks Emily."

"Maybe we could all go see a movie or something?" Reid asked, a hopeful lilt to his voice.

"Sure, let's get back first." Corey mumbled, suddenly losing his appetite. 

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No...just tired I think. I'll head back to the hotel." Corey said quickly, leaving money on the table for his food and rushing out the door before either agent could respond. 

He made his way to the hotel, locking himself in his room. Once he felt secure, he lowered himself to the floor, his back to the door.

It was supposed to be a good night. Of course Emily didn't know his secret, she was being friendly. It was up to him to tell them all, but he wasn't sure if he could. It was difficult enough to explain to himself, let alone other people. He had only just gotten his name and gender marker changed. He'd been on testosterone for less than three months, and top surgery was currently out of the picture.

As soon as his thoughts strayed to his chest, he could feel the tightness in his chest from binding for longer than he had intended. He tugged his shirt and binder off over his head, throwing them aside as hot tears rolled down his cheeks. It felt like lying, cheating his teammates out of important information, but he wasn't ready.

A sharp knock on the door made him jump back, shoving his clothes into a bag and pulling a hoodie over his head to cover his chest. He looked through the peephole and saw Reid on the other side.

"Corey? Look, I get if you don't want to talk. You just forgot this at the diner."

He opened the door a crack and took his badge from Reid. It must have fallen out of his pocket when he left.

"Thanks Reid. I'll be more careful." he said, rubbing tears away to make it look like he was tired.

"Have a good night...I'm down the hall if you want to talk."

"Mmhmm, good night." Corey said quickly as he shut the door and immediately shut the lights off so no one else could bother him. It would be a long night alone with his thoughts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know this just started, but I already have most of it written. I'll be posting a couple chapters a day, but please let me know what you think. Kudos are appreciated. Love you all <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotch and Corey have a little chat about his identity, and the team wraps up Corey's first case.
> 
> TW: mentions of self-harm, blood and depression

After four hours of restless sleep, Corey decided to get up. It was useless to stay laying in bed when that girl was still missing. He took a cold shower in the dark, trying to avoid looking at his body or the mirror.

Throwing on comfortable clothes, he went out for a morning jog, clearing his mind as he breathed in the cool air. When he made it back to the hotel, he dressed himself in his work clothes, making sure to check his breathing was steady before binding.

He grabbed coffee and breakfast before heading to the police station, arriving before any other team members. The more he looked over statements, images and videos the more he started to piece together theories about the possible unsub for this torture sequence. 

"What are you doing here?" Hotch's voice made him jump from his seat.

"Um, always been more of a morning person. Figured I'd get an early start." Corey shrugged, and Hotch raised an eyebrow before sitting across from him and looking through one of the files piled next to him.

“You want to talk about it?” Hotch asked without looking up.

“Just had a rough night.”

“I believe it, Reid came to talk with me after you stormed off on him.”

“I didn’t storm off.” Corey muttered.

“What was said, if I may ask?”

Corey shut the folder, pushing it away from him and leaning back in his chair.

“I just wanted to be friendly, but then Emily invited me to _girls night_ and it triggered a fight or flight.”

Hotch nodded, not looking up from his papers still, leaving the room in a momentary silence.

“As I told you, it is up to you to tell them. But I understand that may be difficult to do. Just make sure it happens soon, I don’t want situations like this to keep coming up.”

“Sorry sir.”

They turned back to their work again for a few minutes, until Hotch once more broke the silence, looking up to meet Corey’s eyes.

“I have no issue with you being who you are. As long as you are comfortable and can do your job. But I don’t want your secret to affect the team. The longer you hide this, the more difficult it will be when it comes out. People react differently to a long kept secret, you should know that being a profiler.”

“I understand Hotch, thank you.”

A few minutes later, the rest of the team filed into the room and began assisting in finding any possible leads in the case. After a few hours of digging, calling Garcia and theorizing, they finally made a break in the case.

The team rushed to make an arrest, and Corey’s anxiety levels began to rise again as he strapped on his FBI vest and ensured his gun was holstered on his hip. He climbed into Hotch’s SUV, Reid following and shutting the door.

“Sorry about last-”

“Not the time Reid.” Corey muttered as he twitched in his seat.

They arrived at the unsub’s house, and Hotch led them towards the front door. Morgan nodded to Hotch before kicking in the door, and they flooded into the house.

“Clear!” Morgan shouted as he rushed into the living room.

“Clear.” Emily called from the kitchen.

Reid and Corey held back, following Hotch towards the basement door. He looked at the both of them, nodding before pulling the door open. He walked down first, Reid following and Corey tailing behind.

“Put down the knife.” Hotch’s voice was calm and cool.

“You come closer, I’ll slit her pretty throat.”

“I wouldn’t recommend that, drop the knife and you’ll make it out of here alive. You can see all the others, see their faces when you’re in court.”

Corey watched the unsub’s smug face waver, and he could tell Hotch had gotten to him. The knife clattered to the floor, and Corey rushed to pull the girl away from him while Hotch handcuffed him.

“We need an ambulance!” Reid called up the stairs, before sitting with Corey who held the crying girl.

“It’s going to be okay, he can’t hurt you anymore. I promise.” Corey whispered as she clung to his shirt. Blood from fresh cuts in her arms soaked into his clothes, but he couldn’t care. In that moment, this girl needed him and that was all that mattered to him. But he could tell this shirt would need a good washing.

“Can we go upstairs? Your parents will be here soon to go with you to the hospital.”

She nodded, letting Reid and Corey help her upstairs into the living room. Other agents and soon paramedics rushed to her aid, letting Reid and Corey back off.

“You okay?”

“Hmm?” Corey looked over to Reid. “Yeah, she’s alive. Not too badly cut.”

“I asked if _you_ were okay.”

“I’m fine.” Corey gritted his teeth, trying to keep his calm.

He walked out of the house, breathing in the fresh air and rolling his sleeves up to try and not see the blood in lines on his arm. It hadn’t been long enough for him to see something like that and not have a feeling stir inside of him.

“I have better coping strategies now. I don’t do that anymore.” he whispered to himself.

_Liar._

“Corey?”

He spun around to see Reid watching him from the doorway.

“I’m fine Reid, just...just leave it be.”

“What’s that on your arm?”

Corey glanced at his arm, biting his lip when he noticed the small cuts he made the night before weren’t fully healed like he had hoped.

“I just scratched myself in my sleep last night. Happens when I have nightmares.”

_Liar._

“Oh, okay. I mean, we have paramedics here.”

“It’s a scratch Reid, I’m fine.” Corey said, managing a smile. But as he turned around, he saw Hotch looking at him from the driveway. His face was stern, and his eyes barely flicked to his arm. He knew, of course he knew.

“Walk with me.” Hotch said firmly as he approached Corey. The pair walked to the back yard, where there were a few CSI units sweeping the area. “How long have you been depressed?”

“Isn’t everyone depressed?”

“This isn’t funny.” Hotch warned. “You completed a psych evaluation with flying colors, how did this go unnoticed?”

“It was an accident. I scratched myself.”

“This can’t continue Agent Dorian. If you require resources, I will help you get them. But if I see this again, as your unit chief I will have you reassessed.”

“That won’t be necessary, sir.” Corey said, straightening his posture and looking Hotch dead in the eyes.

“It better not be.” Hotch said before walking away.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corey comes out after Garcia does some digging, and then a terror of the past appears.
> 
> Warning for deadnaming and misgendering.
> 
> TW: brief mention of abuse and implied self-harm at the end

The team arrived back at Quantico later that night. Emily drove Corey back to the office so he could get his bike, which he had left locked safely away while they travelled. Before he went home, he went up to the office to drop off a few files on his desk.

Garcia was rushing down the hallway, but stopped as soon as she saw Corey by the doors.

“You’re back!”

“Is that unexpected?” Corey asked, and Garcia picked at the file in her arm.

“No, I just… is Hotch here?”

“Uh, no he went home to see his son.”

“Oh-”

“Something I can help with?”

“No! It’s fine, really…” she said, trying to back away. The file fell from her arms and Corey bent down to help her pick it up. He froze when he saw the name on the outside.

“Where did you get this?”

Garcia’s mouth parted but no words came out, and Corey bit his lip as he stood up and handed it to her calmly.

“Is there something you want to talk to me about? Like why you’re carrying a folder with my dead name on it?”

“I’m sorry! Look I-”

“In your office.” Corey muttered, pulling her back down the hall to her room of computers.

He shut the door behind them both, letting out a slow exhale before turning to face his coworker.

“Let me explain. I do checks on any new team members, don’t take it personally. I just worry about the others, they're the only family I’ve got. And I don’t want someone coming in and-”

“Garcia, breathe.” Corey said, holding up a hand. She stopped talking, a small amount of fear in her eyes. “Who did you tell?”

“What?”

“Who. Did. You. Tell?”

“No one, I was going to tell Hotch.”

“Hotch knows, he’s the only one that knows. And I want to keep it that way for now.” Corey explained, sitting next to Garcia. “I know you’re worried for your family. But I just need you to understand. That person is dead, buried. I’m just me now.”

“I found you on like four different medical wait lists.” Garcia confessed, and Corey nodded.

“Yeah, I still need my surgeries. I’ve got testosterone now, so it’s a step. I just… I don’t know how to tell the team.”

Garcia’s eyes widened and she took the folder and tucked it away in a drawer.

“Morgan will take it well. They all should. They’re really nice people, I’m sure they wouldn’t say or do anything-”

“I trust you, but I can’t take that chance just yet.” Corey explained, and she nodded quickly.

“My lips are sealed.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Of course! You’re part of the family now.”

\---

As Corey left the building, his phone rang. He answered it, not bothering to check the number.

“Hello?”

“Hey, pretty girl.”

“I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong-”

“Oh…” the voice chuckled on the other end of the line, “that’s not true and you know it Dee.”

He froze in his tracks, fear settling in his stomach.

“How the fuck do you have this number?”

“I have my ways. I hear you moved out of state. I’m disappointed in you. I want my girlfriend back.”

“Fuck you Jacob.”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you babe?”

Corey’s stomach churned, wanting to hang up but also too terrified to do so.

“You won’t find me. It’s a big world.”

“Let’s just see about that, huh? See you soon Dee.”

The line went dead, and Corey pulled the phone from his ear. His body was trembling, and he could barely pull the door open to get his bike. Small tears pricked at the corner of his eyes, and he wiped them away before climbing onto his bike and starting his ride home.

The voice wouldn’t leave his head, images of his abusive ex hovering in the back of his mind. Of course he wouldn’t leave him alone. He wanted control, he was a classic narcissist and sociopath. Corey could profile him without blinking. But the fear and control he still held over him without being remotely close by made Corey sick to his stomach.

He made it home, locking his bike in the garage before running inside to check his house. Gun drawn, he walked through each room as quietly as possible. When he had cleared the area, he holstered his gun and made his way to the kitchen. He fixed himself a small dinner, knowing his stomach could only take so much after the stress that had incapacitated him on the phone.

Jacob was still in remote California, a country away. Where Corey had run from, running all the way to the FBI. He had made it, he was safe. But the lingering fear made him think. What if his parents accidentally let slip that he was on the East Coast? What if Jacob had made it closer than he thought.

Without blinking, he called his mother. If she had said anything, he had to know.

“Hello?”

“Mom?”

“Oh, dear it’s good to hear from you.”

“Yeah, nice to hear you too Mom. Listen, uh…have you heard from Jacob recently?”

“He dropped by a few days ago. I told him you had gone on vacation like you asked. Why? Is there something I should know?”

“No! No, mom. I just wanted to call to let you know that I’m being moved again.”

“Really? Didn’t you just get to Virginia?”

“Yeah, but they thought I would be better suited for the field office in New York.” Corey lied, biting his lip as he hoped his mother would take the lie.

“Oh that’s lovely dear!” His mother sounded genuinely happy, and he knew he would regret this in the future.

“Yeah, if he comes asking again, just tell him I’m there yeah? He called and I know he’ll probably drop by again for confirmation.”

“No worries dear. I’ll let him know if I see him. Will you ever get back with him? You two were inseparable for a good four years. I know he misses you Dee.”

Corey froze at his deadname again, and let the anger rise up in him.

“No Mom. Look, I have to pack. I’ll call you again soon.”

“Oh, okay. Well I-”

Corey hung up. The rage filled him as he stalked around his house. Finally, he landed a good punch to the wall. A small dent in the drywall let the anger flow out of him, and he collapsed as he gasped for air. The fear had hit, and he couldn’t stop it.

_You could stop it._

No, he was going to stay clean. He promised Hotch, and he didn’t want to have to spend more time with a therapist.

_You know it will help._

He was stronger than that. He would push through, like every other time.

_Come on...make it go away._

His feet moved without permission, carrying him to the bathroom, to where his secret stash was.

_Make it go away._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The younglings go to a gay bar and the boy genius hits it off with Corey, but then comes a phone call.

Corey was paranoid for the next week. He was good at concealing it, only glancing over his shoulder when he knew everyone else was turned away. Keeping his phone on silent to check throughout the day. Wearing long sleeves and keeping a calm exterior.

He was able to keep a cool head throughout their next case by only speaking when necessary and forcing himself so deep into the work he forgot to sleep. When the team arrived back in Virginia, he allowed himself to be dragged to a bar with Emily, Morgan, Garcia and Reid.

It wasn’t until he was inside that he realized it was a _gay_ bar. Not that he minded, he was gay. But he was unsure about the rest of his coworkers. Until he saw Emily immediately make her way to the dance floor and start dancing with another girl.

“I’m going to get a drink.” Morgan said, dragging Garcia along with him. Reid stood awkwardly at the table, his casual clothes almost looking out of place on him.

“You don’t like it here?” Corey asked, leaning across the table to take him in. He’d never stopped to realize that his coworker was actually quite attractive.

“No, I just don’t do well in bars.” Reid said, still picking at his jeans.

A wave of confidence flooded over Corey, from where he had no idea. But he grabbed Reid’s hand and led him to the dance floor.

“Dance with me. Or is this where I discover the lovely Dr. Reid is straight?” he asked as he started swaying to the beat.

“I never said that.”

“I know you aren’t.” Corey said with a wink, moving more into the crowd of shifting bodies.

“How could you possibly-”

“Oh c’mon. Your wardrobe positively screams sophisticated gay when you’re at work. Here it screams disaster closeted gay.”

“Are you profiling me?”

“No, I’m using my gaydar. And my gay ass senses rainbows all around you.” Corey said with a smirk. “Am I wrong?”

Reid shuffled awkwardly backward, before biting his lip and shaking his head. Corey chuckled before grabbing him and pulling him back onto the dance floor. He wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him close among the sea of bodies.

“Stay close.” Corey whispered in his ear, watching as his cheeks turned red.

“You’re drunk.”

“Haven’t had a drink yet Doctor.”

Reid chuckled, turning Corey around so his back was flush with Reid’s chest. He followed his coworker’s gaze to see Emily making out with another girl on the dance floor. Corey laughed before reaching an arm up around Reid’s neck and looking up into the taller man’s eyes.

“Doctor?”

“Yeah?”

“You have nice eyes.”

“Thanks, uh, you want to actually drink?”

Corey nodded, letting Reid lead them back to the table with Garcia and Morgan. He accepted a drink from Morgan, taking a small sip before remembering that it was the weekend, and they didn’t have to go to the office until Monday.

He took a much larger sip the next time, letting the alcohol fog his brain. He wanted to forget the past week. Forget the paranoia. It was working too, until Reid said it was time to go, and Corey checked his phone in the parking lot.

A voicemail greeted him, and as soon as he opened it, his brain snapped out of it’s fog. Jacob’s voice echoed around his head, and he stopped dead in his tracks.

“I guess I’ll pay New York a visit soon Dee. I really miss you, and I know you miss me too. We always wanted to see the sights. I’ll find you there.”

Reid was calling his name, tugging on his arm. He snatched it back without a second thought. The fear and panic began bubbling up inside him again. It was too close for comfort. He should have thought of a better lie.

_Fuck, I should have just stayed with him._

“Corey!” Reid finally snapped him out of his head, but he immediately pulled back from the tight grip his coworker had on his arms.

“Sorry, I just…I need to go home.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, just a call from an old friend. I wasn’t expecting it.”

Reid looked at him suspiciously, before helping get him a cab. After promising to text when he was home safe, Corey finally let tears escape in the backseat of the car.

The driver didn’t pay him any attention, simply driving to his house and waiting for his pay. Corey passed him the cash and got out, making his way to his home. When he reached the door, his hand hovered over the handle. Fear still gripped him, and he rushed to go in the back door.

After he got inside, he texted Reid like he promised before double checking all his locks and windows. Finally, he found himself on his bed, sleep clothes on but unable to rest.

He wanted to tell them all, but what would they think of him? A transgender man, with an abusive ex-boyfriend, who had lied and worked his way into their lives. They probably would mock him if nothing else. Others had done much worse, that’s why he had moved across the country.

The panic was growing, and he could feel the urge to hurt himself again growing. But he couldn’t, he wouldn’t. So he grabbed his phone and dialed the first contact he could find.

“Corey? You okay?”

“Um, no…can I stay at your place tonight? I’m sorry it’s sudden, I just don’t feel safe here.”

“I’ll be right over. Wait there, pack a bag.”

Corey nodded and grabbed a random assortment of clothes, tossing them into a bag along with some essentials. Then he went outside onto his front steps and waited. A few minutes later, a car pulled into his driveway and he climbed in.

“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have-”

“Cut it out you. I’m here anytime. Now, you’re coming over. We’ll watch some movies, have a talk. You can spend the night with Sergio.”

“Thanks Emily.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corey comes out to Emily, and they have a friendly night together.
> 
> TW: mentions of self-harm and past abuse

They reached Emily’s apartment building, and she ushered Corey inside and to the elevator. As they rode up, the air was filled with silent tension. Once they were inside Emily’s apartment and Corey had dropped his bag by the couch, Emily sat next to him and paused.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“I probably should.” Corey stated flatly.

“Then talk. What is it? Nightmares?”

“Not exactly.” Corey took a slow breath. “It’s my ex. He’s been bothering me for the last few weeks.”

“You split to join the BAU?”

“No, I left him when it finally clicked that I deserved to be human too.”

Emily’s face fell, as she realized what Corey was talking about.

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t bother,” Corey waved his hand dismissively, “no one else cared about me. I’ve learned to accept it. But I still know he could find me.”

“Does he know you’re here?”

“No.” Corey muttered, picking at the edge of his sweater. “I told him I’m in New York.”

“Where is he?”

“California, the more desolate part of it.”

Emily nodded, noticing the constant picking that Corey’s hand was engaged in.

“Does he pose a threat to you?”

Corey just nodded, not wanting to think of all the possible ways Jacob could hurt him. Aside from physically and emotionally, he could out him. Fuck, he knew Hotch was right about coming out sooner than later.

More tears began to prick at his eyes, and his breathing became heavier the longer he thought about everything that could happen to him.

“Hey, Corey…breathe, nice and slow.”

Emily’s hand rested on his shoulder and he flinched away out of instinct, and her eyes widened.

“I didn’t realize-”

“I’m sorry. I’ll go…” Corey mumbled through heaving breaths as he tried to stand and leave.

“No! Sit down.” she said firmly, and Corey obliged, not having the energy to fight her.

“Emily?” She nodded, looking at him intently. “I’m trans.”

She blinked, obviously not expecting the words to fall from his mouth. But she smiled and gently reached out to take his hand in hers.

“I’m glad you told me. Am I the only one that knows?”

“Um, Hotch and Garcia know.”

Emily nodded, before raising an eyebrow in a silent question as she held her arms open in a hug. Corey nearly fell into her, small sobs leaving him as she held him and let all his pent up emotions out.

“Is he threatening you?”

“Not exactly.” Corey mumbled, wiping away tears from his cheeks. “He just knows, and I know he could out me and try to ruin me.”

“What’s that?” Emily asked softly, gesturing to his wrist that had become exposed from the tear wiping.

He froze, noticing that the still healing marks from earlier that week were visible. He quickly covered them up, his eyes begging Emily not to say anything. She nodded, simply putting her arms around him again and sitting with him on the floor until he calmed down and could speak full sentences.

\---

They eventually found themselves on the couch, a generic rom-com on the television. Emily had broken out snacks and painkillers for the eventual hangover that would hit both of them.

“Did I ever tell you that Reid is hot?” Corey asked sleepily as he shoved goldfish into his mouth.

“No.” Emily laughed, and Corey blushed before trying to hit her with a pillow.

“I didn’t realize you were gay.”

“Did I ever look straight?” she asked, horrified. “I’d be offended if you thought so.”

“Well, could you tell with me?”

“There was definitely something.” Emily said with a shrug.

“Reid was the only obvious one.”

Emily laughed, tossing popcorn into her mouth and taking a sip of the beer she had gotten for herself.

“You would think, but he’s only come out to me and JJ. Garcia and JJ are both bi, not that you could tell.” Emily said, a small amount of bitterness present in her voice as she mentioned their blonde coworker.

“Is there something I sense?” Corey asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No!” Emily scowled, before sighing in defeat. “Okay, maybe I like JJ, but she’s off with Will and her kid. I can’t take that from her.”

Corey nodded, taking more snacks and pausing to think about the night and how it had miraculously had a good outcome.

“We’re all a little fucked, aren’t we?”

“We couldn’t do this job if we weren’t.” Emily agreed, before standing up and turning the movie off. “I’m heading to bed.”

“Good night then.”

“See you in the morning.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team begins a new case that effects Corey more than everyone else, and more coming out to team members.

The morning came with ringing phones and ringing heads. Corey and Emily both groaned to life when their cellphones abruptly broke the silence in the apartment. The hangover swiftly followed. Both rushed to get dressed, taking pain medication for the headaches and headed over to the office.

“Just stop by my place when we get back. I’ll give you all your stuff then.” Emily muttered as she drove up to the office.

They made their way inside, the rest of the team waiting in the round table room. As soon as they sat down, JJ passed them files with an apologetic smile.

“We’ve been called in to investigate the murders of four teenagers. They were all grabbed when walking home from school, and found dead usually within 24 hours.”

“What connects these kids?” Morgan asked as he flipped through the pictures of the victims. “They don’t look alike, there’s both genders, what is it?”

Corey tried to not grimace when his coworker implied that gender was so black and white, but he also knew that most people weren’t very educated on the topic.

“The teens all identified as transgender.”

As the words left JJ’s lips, Corey’s blood ran cold. His posture stiffened, and he immediately took a much closer look at the pictures. Their faces, expressionless and cold made him feel sick the longer he stared, but he wanted them ingrained in his memory. This was one case he would fight to solve.

“They never got to live as their true selves.” Corey whispered, small tears forming as he switched to crime scene photos.

“What was that?” Reid asked from across the room. Hotch and Emily, who sat on either side of Corey both glanced at him.

“Nothing.” Corey muttered. “They were clearly early in their transitions. Maybe there’s a place they all were that the unsub could have found them. It’s a smaller city right? Only so many medical facilities will take trans kids.”

Morgan and Reid both looked suspicious, but Rossi and Hotch both nodded.

“Sounds like a start. Garcia, if you could look into the teen’s medical history.”

“Yep, if they ever met I will find it.”

“Okay, wheels up in 20.” Hotch said as he closed his folder and rose from the table. Morgan, Reid and Rossi followed. But Corey couldn’t move, his eyes fixated on the photos in front of him.

“Corey…” Emily said softly.

“They’re kids, they didn’t get a chance to be happy.”

Garcia raced over to give him a hug, and JJ moved closer to place a hand reassuringly on his shoulder.

“I might have told JJ when she brought the case file to me.” Garcia whispered, and Corey chuckled as he nodded into her shoulder. “You’re not mad?”

“No, it’s okay.” he muttered, before smiling at all three women. “Thank you, I’ll be okay.”

“You should tell the others soon.” Emily said as she picked up both their files.

“I know…” he muttered, and JJ patted him on the shoulder before leaving to get her things for the plane.

\---

As they all sat around on the plane, Hotch began assigning tasks to each team member. Corey was trying to listen, but part of him was too angry to concentrate. He would make sure this bastard paid for what he did.

“Reid, I want you to take Morgan and Dorian to meet with the students from local GSA’s. We’re hoping they might know something about the victims or who was after them.”

Corey nodded in acknowledgement, knowing Hotch was trusting him to do a good job. Hotch finished his assignments shortly thereafter, and Corey went to make some coffee. Rossi followed him to the back of the plane, keeping a small distance between them.

“You want some?” Corey asked, but Rossi just shook his head.

“I couldn’t help but think about what you said in the round table. I know Reid and Morgan couldn’t hear, but I did. This case have something personal to you?”

He chewed on his lip, thinking if this was the best time to come out to arguably the most conservative member of the team.

“Uh, yeah. It is personal in a sense…mostly because I’m also trans.”

He couldn’t meet Rossi’s eyes as he sipped his coffee. The older man’s posture shifted, and Corey could tell he was much more uptight than he had been.

“You didn’t think to mention this before? Kid, if I’d known I would have tried to get Hotch to leave you out of this one.”

Corey blinked in shock, glancing up to finally see that Rossi was smiling at him.

“You’re okay with it?”

“I may not fully understand it, but I really couldn’t care less. Unless it makes you a worse agent, I don’t mind.”

Corey nodded, grinning as he sipped his coffee again and repressed the urge to hug the older man.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, now come back with everyone, and let’s catch this bastard.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corey and the guys talk with the local students, and Morgan doesn't take some new information very well.
> 
> TW: mild transphobia (idk what to call Morgan's reaction but it ain't good)

Once the plane landed, Corey hopped into a car with Morgan and Reid to head off to this meeting with the other students. As much as he wanted to sit and theorize with the others, he knew he would likely be the best shot they had at talking with the GSA kids. He had been one of them not that long ago.

They arrived at a local highschool, and Morgan parked the car before glancing at Reid, then Corey.

“You really think we’ll get much out of these kids?”

“I do.” Corey muttered, opening the door and climbing out of the SUV.

The three made their way up the steps and inside the building. A young woman approached them, her heels clicking against the floor.

“Gentlemen, the school is closed right now-”

“It’s okay ma’am,” Corey said as he showed her his badge, “we’re here to meet with the students.”

She nodded before gesturing for them to follow her down the hallway.

“How many students did you gather?”

“Well, we contacted every local school with a GSA, but out of those only a few kids from each one showed. Some are only out in this group, some are scared that their peers will find out they came here.”

Corey nodded, while Morgan and Reid followed behind looking less than enthusiastic. They reached the cafeteria, which held approximately 30 students. Most of them looked terrified, and like many friends Corey had when he was in high school.

“Alright everyone, these are the agents from the FBI. They just have a few questions for you all, okay?”

The woman stepped aside, and Morgan moved to the front of the room.

“Hi guys. I’m Agent Morgan. Was anyone here friends with one of the students who died?”

“They didn’t die,” a boy spoke from the back of the group, “they were murdered. Don’t pretend we don’t know.”

Morgan opened his mouth to talk, but Corey stepped past him to address the group.

“You’re right. And we’re all very sorry for the losses you must feel. In a place like this, you need all the friends you can get right?”

“Who the hell are you?” A student from the front of the group shouted.

“My name is Agent Corey Dorian, I’m part of the behavioural analysis unit with the FBI. Like these other gentlemen behind me. But…” Corey paused to think about how to phrase his thoughts, “I’m much more like you guys here. I’m a trans guy, I have friends who are gay, trans, bi. All the like.”

Many of the kids’ eyes widened as Corey talked, but none of them seemed upset.

“I know how vulnerable this community is, and I know what it means to lose friends who never got the chance to express themselves. So it’s pertinent for us to know if there is anyone you know of who might wish harm upon these students.”

“Who wouldn’t?” A girl chimed from the front of the group. “Most people here aren’t that accepting. Some of us are lucky, but I know Alex had gotten thrown out of his house when he came out. He was living with me for a while, until…”

She trailed off, hiccuping as tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Alex, one of the victims.” Reid whispered behind Corey to Morgan.

“Anyone else know something about the other students who were killed?” Corey asked gently. One by one, confessions came out from the teenagers gathered in the room. Once they had all the information they needed, they turned to leave.

“Wait!” Corey turned back to see a student standing in the middle of the aisle. “You’re really trans, and in the FBI?”

Corey turned back around with a smile on his face, and walked over to the student.

“Anything is possible. You just have to fight for it, and never give up.”

Another student raised their hand, and Corey nodded in their direction.

“Can I take a photo with you?”

“Sure.”

More students joined in, and eventually nearly every student in the cafeteria had gotten some form of memorabilia from Corey.

“Listen, here,” he pulled a business card from his pocket, “is my cell number. Once this is over, give me a call and I’ll come back to give a talk or something, yeah? Brainstorm some questions for me while I solve this. Stay safe, all of you.”

\---

As they got back into the car, Corey could feel that something was off. Morgan and Reid sat in the front seats, deadly silent. He could only assume what this was about, and steeled himself for a confrontation.

“So…were you ever going to tell us?” Morgan started.

“Yes-”

“And you didn’t think we deserved to know?” he continued, and Corey chose to keep his mouth shut. “Is it not important? You just told us and a bunch of kids that you were born a woman, and you…you got surgery and all that to lie?”

“Derek, it’s not that-”

“Then what is it? Because right now I just see a liar, a woman pretending.”

“I’m just trying to be authentic to myself. I was never comfortable as a woman, it was the worst time of my life. And no, I haven’t had surgeries and all that yet. Not that it’s your business.” Corey snapped back, not appreciating Morgan’s accusing tone.

“Look, it doesn’t change the fact that you lied.”

“Fine, you know what? Go back, I’ll meet you there.” Corey said, getting out of the car and slamming the door behind him. He stormed off towards the main road, watching Morgan and Reid drive away.

He followed directions on his phone, walking a good half hour before reaching the police station. When he got inside, he flashed his badge to the officer at the front, who led him back to where the rest of the team was. He could see Morgan storming around still, and Hotch looked furious.

“Corey!” Emily rushed over to him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“I, uh, took the long way back.”

“I noticed. Morgan said you came out to the students?”

“Best way to make them talk.” Corey muttered, sitting with Emily out of view of where Morgan and Hotch were. “Where’s Reid?”

“In there with them, why?”

“He…he never said anything.”

Emily smiled sympathetically, before letting him get up to go to the bathroom. Once he was inside, he locked the door and let out a long exhale. Looking at himself in the mirror, he felt worse than before. He looked broken, and he knew that if Reid and Morgan hated him, he wouldn’t last on the team.

He splashed water in his face, trying to keep his cool. But tears followed the cool water, hot in comparison. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop the tears as he sunk to the floor.

_Stupid, did you actually think they would all just take it?_

He covered his ears, trying to keep the thoughts out as he cried. A knock came on the door, and he held his breath so his body simply shook from the sobs. But the knock came again, much sharper than before.

“Corey?” It was JJ, and he shuffled across the floor to unlock the door before returning to his original spot. She pushed inside, freezing when she saw him.

“Lock the door.” he whispered, his voice hoarse from crying and panting for air.

JJ nodded, doing what he asked before sitting next to him on the floor and hushing his cries.

"Morgan found out?"

"My fault," Corey mumbled, "I should have checked...or taken people who know."

"But the kids opened up didn't they?" JJ asked, rubbing his back and wrapping an arm across his shoulder.

Corey nodded, a small smile gracing his face as he remembered all the students swarming him for information. He knew it had been good for them, he hoped they would take him up on his offer to have him come back and talk to them all.

"I know that it seems like this can't work. But Morgan will come around eventually. He just has a hard time opening up to people, and I'm sure he just didn't expect this. You wouldn't be able to tell if you didn't know. When Penelope told me earlier, I wished I had cleared the case selection with you first."

"It's fine, I need to work this case."

JJ smiled, ruffling his hair and helping him to his feet. He ran his fingers through his hair before nodding to himself. He hated being like this, having to rely on others to make himself a little better. But her presence did soothe him enough for him to compose himself and leave the bathroom with her.

"Hey," JJ called before he could walk away, "if Henry ever came out, I know you would be the best uncle for him."

Corey smiled before walking back in to look over more evidence. He forced himself back into his work, ignoring the looks from the rest of his team. Morgan and Reid had disappeared, and Hotch was busy talking with Rossi. But Corey knew it would only be a matter of time before he had to talk with his unit chief. The phone snapped him out of his thoughts and he answered it without thinking.

“Hello?”

“This is your resident genius with more genius work for you all.” Garcia’s voice came from the other end of the line.

Corey waved everyone else into the room before putting the technical analyst on speakerphone.

“Okay, so I did like our lovely Agent Dorian suggested and cross-referenced the kids with any local clinics, and they did all have appointments at one a few towns away. This place serves a bunch of other small towns, so there’s possibly a lot of other kids we don’t know about.”

“Thanks Garcia, is there anything else?” Hotch asked, leaning close to the phone.

“Well, I’ve done some digging, and I also got a list of other kids in your town who went to the clinic so we know other potential victims. And before you ask, I already sent it to you, along with the address of the clinic.”

“Perfect, thanks Garcia.”

“Mmhmm, I’m out.” she signed off, and Hotch turned to the rest of the group.

“Okay Emily and Rossi go to the clinic, see if there’s any other connections we can find. JJ, I want you to call as many kids on that list as possible and warn them to not walk alone. Dorian, you’re with me.”

“Yes, sir.” Corey muttered, following Hotch into the same room he had been in with Morgan and Reid. Confrontation time had come much sooner than he expected, but he fixed his shoulders and followed his unit chief inside.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotch and Corey have a serious discussion, and the situation with Morgan escalates.
> 
> TW: self-harm, mild suicidal thoughts, transphobia

“So, is there anything you want to say before I start?” Hotch asked, directing Corey to sit close to the door.

“Depends on what you want to hear.”

Hotch clearly didn’t appreciate the sarcasm, but instead focused on the point he was trying to make.

“You should have told them before you decided to come out to a group of students.”

“It was the only way to get them to open up!” Corey said, frustrated that no one seemed to understand where he was coming from. “I was those kids, and I know that most of them have never gotten to meet someone who is successful and living as a queer person. Morgan intimidated them, even if he didn’t mean to. As soon as I said what I said, they opened up and gave us everything we needed to know. They don’t deserve to be targeted, I wanted them to have a role model.”

Hotch waited until he finished talking, then nodded before continuing.

“I don’t want you to get confused, I am glad that you managed to establish rapport with the students. That was why I sent you there in the first place. However, I assumed that Morgan and Reid were aware of your…situation.”

“So how’d they take it?” Corey asked, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

“Well, I think you’re aware how Morgan took it. Reid really didn’t have much to say at all.”

Corey nodded, gently biting his lip in concentration. He had so much he wanted to say, but he knew that he could only approach one topic at a time.

“Do you agree with Morgan? That I’m lying to the team about who I am?”

“Have I ever given you the impression that I do?” Hotch asked, and Corey couldn’t read his tone.

“Impressions are one thing. You always refer to my gender as a ‘situation’ as opposed to ‘identity’, and while you offered me one-on-one assistance should I need it, I never knew how the team would react. You seem uncomfortable whenever I bring it up in conversation, and while I try to not let it affect my work I can’t help who I am and that it will come up sometimes.” He paused to take a breath, assessing how his unit chief was reacting. “What happens when I do eventually get my surgeries, and need to take time away from the team? Or if I have to go to doctor’s appointments and miss a briefing?”

Corey finally stopped, trying to catch his breath from ranting. Hotch gave him nothing, staying stoic as he watched Corey’s movements. Then he stepped forward and pulled Corey into a soft hug.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize this was still such a prominent issue for you.” Corey accepted the hug, nodding in acknowledgement of what Hotch was saying. “I want you to know that I told Morgan it was out of line for him to leave you to walk, and I tried to talk him down from his ranting. I sent him and Reid on a separate search, and they shouldn’t be back for another hour or so. If they continue to give you trouble, come straight to me. Understand?”

They pulled apart, and Corey nodded once more. He let himself smile for the first time in a while, and Hotch smiled in response.

“I do want to support you. I’ve just never been in this position before. I’m learning throughout this.”

“I’m grateful Hotch. Now,” Corey sucked in a breath, “I’m ready to find the son of a bitch who’s killing these kids.”

\---

The whole team worked tirelessly for the rest of the day, and were able to deliver the profile before the night came. Around midnight, Hotch directed them to go to the hotel and get a few hours of sleep.

Corey made his way outside and began following Emily when a voice called out behind them both.

“Wait! Corey...I-”

They turned to see Reid running after them. Emily shrugged and patted him once on the back before continuing the short walk to the hotel. Corey sighed, crossing his arms as he waited for Reid to reach him.

“What do you want? I got enough from Morgan today.”

“No! Not like that, I…” he stopped, looking around before gently taking his arm and walking with him down the street. “I’m not angry. I just…wasn’t expecting it. Not to be rude, but I couldn’t tell.”

“That’s kind of the point, Reid.” he muttered, biting back the urge to snap at the other man.

“I know! I just…look I had one version of you in my mind and-”

“Why does that have to change? What does it matter that I was born into the wrong body? I’m still me, I’ve always been me. So what, I don’t have surgery, I just started my hormones like four months ago. But that’s not what makes me a man, and I certainly hope that’s not all you look at when determining if I’m a man or not.”

Corey huffed as he finished, pulling away from Reid slightly as the other man’s mouth hung open in unspoken words. Wordlessly, Corey walked away towards the hotel. He didn’t want to know what Reid had to say. The smallest inkling of a crush he had on the other agent was burning inside him, hurting him to know that if Reid had any interest it was based purely on looks.

He made his way to the hotel, locking the door and changing into a sweater and track pants. As he lay in bed trying to fall asleep, a sharp knock came from the door. He groaned and rolled over to face the door.

“Go away Reid!” he yelled, not wanting to deal with the other man.

There was a moment of silence, before another knock. Then another. Corey sat up, rushing to the door and yanking it open to yell. Then he froze.

Derek Morgan was standing with his hand raised to knock again. As quick as he opened the door, he slammed it shut again and locked it, slamming the deadbolt in place. 

“Please just go.” he said, loud enough for Morgan to hear it through the door.

“We need to talk about this-”

“Go!” Corey shouted, before punching the door and storming back to bed. He collapsed on the mattress, tugging the blankets over him and closing his eyes to drown out the rest of the world.

"Let me in Corey. We need to talk about this."

He jumped up, threw the door open and waited. Morgan blinked, unsure if he was allowed to come in. Corey continued to block the door, so the other man let out a sigh before beginning to speak.

"Why wasn't the whole team informed that you were...not a guy?"

"That wasn't my decision, it was Strauss and Hotch who made that call. Take it up with them."

"Hey!" Corey bit his tongue as he tried to ignore Morgan's tone. "Look, I'm just looking out for my team."

"I'm part of your damn team!" Corey spat out.

"If I can't trust you, then you aren't."

"What am I to you then? Sub-human? Less than?"

"I..." Morgan stopped and Corey's blood went cold, not immediately denying it proved his point. "I don't know what you are."

"Fuck off Morgan." Corey said before shutting the door and locking it.

Tears stung his eyes, his throat tightening as he tried not to sob. He stumbled to the bathroom, throwing on the light and blinking at the sudden brightness. Grabbing a container from his go-bag, he stood in front of the mirror and wiped his eyes. With shaking hands, he pulled the blade from the container and rolled up his sleeves.

 _Imposter, that's what he thinks you_ _are_.

One.

_He wants you to leave the team._

Two.

_Leave the team._

Three.

_Leave._


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team solves the case with some unexpected help, and Morgan and Corey have a chat.
> 
> TW: transphobia, slurs against the LGBTQ community

The morning was hell for Corey. He hadn’t slept most of the night, the images of the dead teens flashing throughout his dreams. So he got up and ensured his bandages around his arms were clean. Afterwards, he found himself back in the office pouring over papers and searching for leads at 4 in the morning. Rossi joined him not much later, bringing him a coffee and some new ideas based on his own speculations.

“What are we missing?” Corey muttered, flipping through the papers again.

“Take it easy kid, we’ll figure it out.” Rossi reassured him, before glancing up to see most of the team filing in. Hotch had gone back to the hotel a few hours after them, and Corey knew he’d be back in less than an hour.

"Do you think Morgan is right?"

"I told you already kid," Rossi sighed as he leaned back in his chair, "I don't care. Does it make you a worse agent? No, so it's not my business."

Corey nodded, smiling to himself as he sipped his coffee. Emily and JJ joined them a few minutes later, with the black haired woman grabbing a cup from the table.

"Had a good night?" Rossi asked, and both women blushed. Corey raised an eyebrow, but Rossi seemed to not notice.

"Yeah, slept well."

Corey sighed before turning back to his files and ignoring his coworkers. Which seemed to work well for a certain two people who arrived shortly after.

Reid and Morgan both ignored him the entire morning, only talking to him when absolutely necessary. Even after Hotch arrived and the whole team was gathered to discuss theories, they just kept their focus away from Corey. It hurt, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. These kids needed him, and he would ensure their safety before dealing with petty workplace drama. If Morgan and Reid really couldn’t accept him as he was, then there was no point in arguing.

They were getting closer and closer to pinpointing the unsub, Corey could feel it. Then a 9-1-1 call pulled them all out onto the street. A student had called, saying that a man had tried to abduct their friend who had recently come out as transgender.

When they arrived on scene, it wasn’t what the team had expected. The man was held down by three teenagers, while another was kicking him in the chest and face. Morgan raced over and pulled the kid away from the man.

“He killed my friends!” the boy screamed as Morgan held him. Corey raced over and knelt on the man’s back, the other teens backing off. He pulled the man’s arms back, cuffing his wrists together and lifting him off the ground. His nose was bleeding, and he had small scratches on his face, but he was fine.

“Why’d you think it’s okay to attack teenagers, huh? They’re weak?”

The man just grinned, a vile smile that made Corey throw him in the back of a police cruiser faster than he ever wanted to. He turned back to the four teens waiting at the side of the street.

“You all know that was incredibly dangerous and foolish?”

“We knew he would try again. We weren’t going to die because some transphobe couldn’t handle that we’re more confident in ourselves than he ever will be.”

Corey nodded, patting the teen on his shoulder before turning back to his team. Emily looked relieved, Morgan and Reid pretended to not have been paying attention. Hotch took the teenagers aside to speak with them, while Rossi glared at the man inside the cruiser. He let out a slow sigh, walking over to Rossi and waiting until they could get him back to interrogation. It was a good day.

\---

The man’s name was Darren Bronze, he worked at the clinic Garcia had found connected all the teenagers, and they had found all of the teen’s ID cards in his van with their gender markers scratched out. Corey stood waiting to interrogate him, but Hotch put a hand on his shoulder to wait.

“I want you and Morgan to do this, _together_.”

Corey nodded, and Hotch brought his coworker in. They entered the interrogation room together, Corey taking a seat across from the man.

“You’re charging those kids with assault right? I was just checking on them, with this killer out there, you know?”

Neither agent answered him, and Corey pulled crime scene photos from his folder, turning them to face the man.

“Do you recognize any of them?”

“Sure I do, they were on the news.”

Morgan walked behind him and leaned over his shoulder to point at each photo and name the victims.

“What do you think about transgender kids, Darren?” Morgan asked, stepping away to watch his reaction.

“I think they’re confused. Their parents put it in their heads that they need to change to be more like the child _they_ wanted.”

“If you disagree with it so much, why did you end up working at a clinic for young LGBTQ kids?” Corey asked, trying to keep a level head.

“I wanted to protect them. Make sure they could be taken care of and taught the right way to live.”

Morgan looked disgusted with his words, Corey barely blinked. It was nothing he hadn’t heard before.

“Taken care of? By killing them?”

“They wouldn’t listen! They wanted to mutilate their bodies, disrupt their bodies during its natural processes.”

“So you killed them?” Corey pressed, his tone raising as the anger returned.

“They would have kept going! Men dressing like women, trying to marry our sons! Never being able to have children of their own.”

“They were innocent teenagers!” Morgan argued.

“They were a bunch of fags and trannies! No one gave a damn about them!”

Corey nearly leapt across the table, Morgan pulling them back and trying to take him out of the room.

“They were innocent children! And you slaughter them for your perforated religious beliefs? Their families loved them, miss them! They sit at home wondering what they possibly did wrong to deserve their children being slaughtered!”

“They let their children become abominations!” the man howled back at Corey, who shoved Morgan off of him and stormed over to the man to get into his face.

“Well then, take this to prison with you. A _trannie_ is the one who arrested you, and will ensure you spend the rest of your life behind bars. You try to get parole? I’ll be at all your hearings to make sure that never happens. You will never touch another child again.”

“Get out of my face, filth!”

Corey stormed out of the room, Morgan following close behind. Hotch was waiting with his arms crossed, a stern look on his face.

“I don’t want to hear it.” Corey grumbled, but Hotch stopped him.

“You know you were out of line.”

“Yes, sir.”

“It won’t happen again.”

“I understand.”

He nodded, letting Morgan catch up with them both.

“He practically admitted to killing them all. It’s sick. They’re kids, man.”

“Yeah, but people don’t see trans people as human. They’re imposters, don’t belong in civilization. He’s not the only person with those beliefs.” Corey said, not sparing a glance at his coworkers as he went to help JJ pack up all the evidence.

They worked silently, taking down photographs and packing them away by name. Labelling all the evidence to be stored safely with the police department. Eventually, a few officers came to take away all the boxes, and JJ walked with Corey back to the hotel to pack their bags and head back to Virginia.

As he was packing, a light knock came on the door. He opened it, not caring who was trying to bother him. He would have to eventually talk with everyone, and he’d rather get it over with.

Morgan entered the room wordlessly, letting Corey get back to packing.

"I'm sorry-"

"Please stop now." Corey mumbled, shoving more items into his bag and still refusing to look at him.

“I didn’t realize you felt that way-”

“What way would I feel?” Corey snapped, biting back more words. “How would you feel if I called you a liar for being yourself? For trying to live as comfortably as you can without the world knowing that you had to change yourself to get there? You told me last night that I didn't belong on your team!”

Morgan blinked, his mouth hanging open as he searched for the right words.

"Please, give me a minute." Corey crossed his arms, nodding. "I...I've never met someone who is transgender. The concept seemed insane to me, and I get now that...that is just how it is. It doesn't apply to me, so I can't make that call of right or wrong. I let other people's opinions influence me, and I know I said some things that I regret. I want you to be on this team, and I want to make it all up to you. I'm not asking for you to forgive me now, or for a while. Let me prove it to you?"

Corey sighed, uncrossing his arms but not moving towards his teammate.

"Did Hotch put you up to this?"

"No...yesterday, Hotch sent us to meet with a youth counsellor. She talked about why acceptance is so important to these kids. The statistics...it was a lot but I realized they're just kids. And you're just a guy, who needs support. I'll do my best."

"How long did Garcia lecture you for?" Corey muttered, and Morgan rolled his eyes.

"A while, but she taught me some stuff too. Look, I'm learning right?"

Corey chose to stay silent, unsure of how genuine Morgan was truly being. He wanted the whole team's approval, but last night had pushed him over the edge. As nice as it was to hope, Morgan wasn't going to keep to this full 180 like he claimed. Corey wasn't about to trust someone who hurt him like that.

“Look, I just wasn’t expecting it. You never talk about yourself and I wasn’t going to ask. You don’t keep much personal stuff around so-”

“So you can’t profile me?” Corey asked as he slung his bag over his shoulder. “Real nice move there Derek. I know you all do it. Talk about what you notice and try to figure things about me without asking. Just proves what great profilers you are. I’m not an unsub, so leave me out of it.”

“Woah, woah. Hold on.”

“Don’t start.” Corey said, holding a finger up to stop Morgan’s offended voice.

“I’m not out to get you. None of us are.”

“Bullshit, you just don’t trust me.” Corey finished for him. “And that’s reasonable. I’m new, you don’t know my background, you don’t know what got me to the BAU. But trust me when I say that one day you might know everything. That day will not be any time soon, but it will come.”

Morgan nodded, and Corey lowered his finger. Then the taller man extended a hand to him, a peace offering of sorts. Corey took it, shaking his hand firmly before opening the door to the hallway and gesturing for Morgan to follow. It was not forgiveness, just a chance to move forward in a hopeful peace.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The younglings go out for a movie night, and Corey opens up more to Reid about his past.
> 
> TW: mentions of abuse and manipulation

Once they got back to Virginia, the younger members of the team decided to go out for a movie night. Corey was seated between Reid and Emily, with the rest of his team members filling up the row of the theater. Emily had her arm around JJ’s shoulders, while Morgan and Garcia were giggling about something as they shared popcorn. Corey turned to Reid, smiling up at the lanky boy.

“What?” Reid asked softly.

“Nothing. Just wanted to apologize for my attitude last night. I know it wasn’t fair to take my frustration out on you.”

“Oh, it’s okay-”

“It’s not. And I’m sorry about it. But I’d like to still be your friend. I know you were confused and hurt. It was my fault for not telling you sooner.”

Reid just nodded, smiling back at Corey. The lights dimmed as the movie started, and they all turned their attention to the screen. Out of the corner of his eye, Corey could see Emily resting her head on top of JJ’s, their hands intertwined. He felt a small pang in his chest, before glancing over to Reid.

The taller man’s attention was focused solely on the film. Corey slowly reached out, trying to gently brush his fingers against the other man’s in the hope that they too could hold hands. While he knew that their relationship was strained from his confession, he also could tell that there was still some other form of tension between them.

He just hoped that Reid might feel the same butterflies that Corey had begun to feel around the taller man. Eventually, Corey made contact with Reid’s hand, the other man jumping slightly in his seat. He glanced down at their fingers, before gently wrapping his hand around Corey’s.

A little while into the movie, Corey felt sleepy after running on barely a few hours of rest from the night before. He gingerly rested his head on Reid’s shoulder, his eyes closing the more he tried to force himself to stay awake.

Eventually, he was shaken back awake and jumped up from his seat.

“It’s okay! It’s okay… the movie’s over.” Reid’s voice pulled him from his nap. He opened his eyes, blinking in the dim light of the theater to see the rest of the team getting up and pulling their coats on.

“Sorry…” he muttered, stretching and yawning as he got up and gave Reid his space.

“It’s alright, you feel any better?”

“A little, um, could I get a ride home?”

Emily chuckled as she made her way to the aisle, before nodding to Corey.

“I can drive you.”

“You don’t drive?” Reid asked.

“I _can_ , I just don’t have a car.” Corey explained, and Reid nodded.

“I’ll drive you.”

Emily gave him a questioning look, but nodded and guided JJ down the stairs in the theater. Reid helped Corey throw his jacket over his shoulders and walk outside to a small car.

“I didn’t know you drove.”

“I’ve been able to drive since I was 13, the government wouldn’t issue me a license.”

“Oh genius Dr. Reid…” Corey mumbled, still half asleep.

Reid chuckled as they got into the car, asking for Corey’s address before he could fall asleep again. But once the car started moving, he couldn’t sleep.

“No sleeping?”

“Can’t when I’m in a vehicle. It’s always how I’ve been.”

“It’s interesting, statistically-”

“Reid…please. Just because I’m not asleep doesn’t mean I’m ready for random fact time with the genius.”

“Sorry.”

“No, don’t be. I do like hearing all your facts and stories. I just need sleep.”

The rest of the ride was quieter, Reid focusing on the road. Corey gazed at the genius, taking in his sharp jaw and the way the streetlights reflected across his face. Shadows came and went as they drove, and both men finally allowed themselves to relax as they reached Corey’s house.

“You can come in if you want. You must be tired. I have a couch if you want to sleep.”

“Sure.” Reid smiled, climbing out with Corey and following him to the front porch. As they walked up the driveway, he tugged his keys free from his pocket, unlocking the door and disarming the security he had installed once he realized Jacob was still trying to find him.

The taller man walked inside, glancing around Corey’s house. The smaller man was cursing himself that he hadn’t cleaned much since he left, but he also hadn’t been back since he left to see Emily before their last case.

His bike was propped against the wall of the entryway. As he moved into the kitchen he rushed to put dishes away while Reid situated himself in the living room.

“Can I get you anything?”

“Tea?” Reid’s voice responded from the other room.

Corey nodded to himself and put the kettle on, grabbing two mugs and preparing the tea leaves. He never bought bagged tea, always insisted that loose leaves and an infuser was better.

When it was done, he carried both mugs to the living room, giving one to Reid and taking the other for himself.

“Your house is nice.” Reid said, looking around and taking in his surroundings.

“Oh, thanks.”

“What’s with the security though?”

“Just figured it was worth it, you don’t have it?”

“I didn’t say that,” Reid said quickly, “I just have a reason. We all have a reason.”

“Sometimes reasons stay quiet.” Corey muttered.

“Sorry…” Reid muttered, and Corey sighed in frustration.

“No, don’t say that. I just, it’s been a journey to make it to where I am. Not a nice one by any stretch.”

Reid sipped his tea, eyes focused on Corey. He gestured for him to continue, to which Corey rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this, I guess I trust you.” He took in a sharp breath, thinking of how to start his story.

“You don’t have to-”

“I owe it to you. I treated you like shit out there, it’s only fair.” Corey grumbled, curling his knees into his chest before putting his tea on the table in front of them and taking a slow breath.

"So, you know I was born a girl, and I spent years lying to myself. Ignoring my desire to cut my hair, bind my chest, all that. I just kept ignoring the signs, until I found myself depressed and close to giving in. Then I met Jacob. He pulled me out of my hole, made me feel special and loved. And then he turned, and I stayed because I felt like I owed him. Four years of him controlling every aspect of my life: where I went, what I ate, what jobs I took. I came out as bisexual and ended locked away for the next week until I said I lied. Then…"

Corey paused, gasping for air as he thought about the last time he saw Jacob.

"It was my birthday, and he tried to propose. I knew it was my last chance out, and I rejected him and came out as trans to my family before taking my things and skipping town. I transferred jobs, a month later I got my name changed and I got accepted to the position at the BAU."

Reid gently reached forward to take Corey's hands in his. He gently ran his thumb over Corey's knuckles which soothed the smaller man.

"So the security is in case he follows?"

"He, uh, got my new phone number. He's been calling, leaving me messages. I lied to my mother and said I got moved to New York just to keep him off my trail."

Realization dawned on Reid as more pieces began fitting into place. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally got his question out.

"So that night, at the bar…"

"Yeah, he called me."

They talked late into the night, Corey not sharing more about his past but answering Reid's questions as best as he could. Eventually, they wound up in Corey's bed, Reid passed out as Corey lay awake with memories flashing through his head of Jacob and those horrible years.

When he did fall asleep, it was plagued with nightmares and he knew it would stay that way for a while.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer and Corey have a rocky start to the day, but then go out on a little excursion to the library.

They woke up to someone’s phone ringing, Corey scrambling away from Reid as he realized how tangled up they were. Reid’s arms had somehow gotten wrapped around Corey, their legs overlapping. It was an involuntary reaction from the smaller man, but Reid didn’t seem to notice as he blinked awake.

“Um, I think it’s yours.” Corey mumbled, stumbling out of bed and towards the hall. He didn’t bother to look back, making his way to the bathroom and moving to turn the shower on. He left the lights off, having mastered the skill of showering without seeing his body to try and limit the dysphoria he felt every day.

As he let the warm water run down his body, his muscles relaxed and his mind drifted into a haze. Then suddenly there was light, and he yelped as he rushed to turn the water off and make sure the shower curtain was drawn tight.

“Reid...what the hell?”

“I’m sorry, I saw the light off and I thought-”

“Just get out!”

The door closed and he climbed out, tugging a towel around his body and letting out a sigh as he glanced at the mirror. Then he walked into the hallway, hair still dripping wet, and he noticed Reid waiting outside the door.

“Look I-”

“Get in there, do what you have to. Just don’t talk to me right now.”

He pushed into his bedroom, tugging a binder over his chest before he could look at himself. Grabbing boxers and clothes from the closet, he pulled them on and walked out into the kitchen. Reid came out of the bathroom, shuffling to the table and sitting awkwardly as Corey raced around to make breakfast for both of them.

“Coffee?” he called to Reid.

“What?”

“You want coffee? Abnormal amounts of sugar?”

“Ah, sure...yeah.”

Corey put down the hot mug in front of the other man, before returning to the kitchen and started cooking eggs. Once he was done he sat across from the other man and started eating, watching as Reid slowly ate as well.

There was tension hanging in the air, and Corey sighed as he put his fork down and stared at Reid expectantly. The taller man continued to pick at his plate, ignoring Corey.

"I didn't realize my cooking was so bad." Corey said, catching Reid's attention. 

"No...it's good."

"Then spit it out. Did you forget I was trans? Forget I'm...incomplete?" Corey spat out.

"Don't say it like that." Reid muttered, sipping his coffee.

"How else should I say it? It's true."

"It's not like that...I just, I shouldn't have stayed over last night."

"You regret it? We didn't do anything, just talked. It's not my fault I make you so uncomfortable."

"You're getting defensive again-"

"Don't profile me! Profiles are for unsubs."

Reid fell silent, and Corey sighed before drinking his own coffee.

“Look, you don’t know what I’ve been through. I gave you a piece of it all last night. I’m glad you stayed, it made me feel safe and it was good to have a friend over. But that doesn’t mean everything changes. I’m still going to be paranoid, I’m still going to shelter myself. Yes it’s defensive, it’s also habitual survival.”

“We’ve all been through trauma, but that doesn’t define who we are.” Reid said quietly, sipping on his coffee and maintaining eye contact with Corey.

“I don’t think you want to spend the whole day talking about trauma, yours or mine.” Corey said as he stood and cleaned up the plates and mugs. Reid stood from the table and grabbed his bookbag from the couch.

“Leaving?”

“No...I uh, was wondering if you wanted to come with me to the library. I have a few books I need to return, it’s nice to pick out something new to learn.”

Corey paused, thinking for a minute before making a decision.

“Sure, why not? Let me get fully ready.”

“Fully? You’re not ready yet?”

“It takes a lot for me to get ready Reid, just give me five minutes and I’ll be at the door, ready to go.”

He hurried into his room, fixing his outfit and grabbing a bag. He stopped to look in the mirror, running his fingers through his hair before nodding and running back to the front door. Reid was waiting, smiling softly as Corey tugged his boots on and armed the security system before exiting with the taller man.

Reid’s car was still parked in the driveway, and as they climbed in Corey took a slow breath. This wasn’t a date or anything, he was just going with a friend. But part of him secretly still hoped it _could_ be a date.

As they drove to the library Reid needed to go to, Corey tried not to stare at the driver. By all accounts, Reid was a good looking guy, and anyone would be lucky to have him. But Corey kept his hopes down, knowing it was unlikely any relationships would form on the team. It took away the key aspect, that they were all cared about equally.

If he and Reid started a relationship, it would mean that they would likely give more leniency to one another, care more if the other got hurt and be less focused on what the team needed.

“You okay?” Reid broke through Corey’s thoughts.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry, just kinda zoned out.”

“It’s perfectly normal.” Reid smiled as he looked at the road. “In fact, it’s sometimes used as a coping mechanism for people with anxiety disorders. When you dissociate you can usually calm your body down naturally.”

Corey nodded, letting a smile flicker across his face as they pulled up to the library. Reid got out, slinging his bookbag over his shoulder and watching Corey climb out as well. He locked the car and they walked inside together.

The receptionist smiled at Reid, taking back the tomes he had borrowed previously. As they walked past her, she winked at the taller man. Corey felt jealousy burn inside him, and he moved closer to Reid so their shoulders touched. 

“You okay?”

“Hmm?” Corey looked up and nodded as he bit his lip. “Yeah, all good. What are you looking for today?”

“I’m not sure. I’m open to suggestions.”

Corey chuckled as they walked up the stairs, gazing at the aisles full of books.

“I think you’ve probably read anything I could get my hands on. Besides, I’m sure you’re much more into educational things than gay literature.”

Reid paused, glancing at Corey before shrugging and continuing forward.

“I’ve never really ready much to be honest with you. So a suggestion or two might be nice.”

“Okay, over here then.” Corey gestured to the section he always frequented. Reid followed in interest, gazing at the titles on the shelves as they passed row upon row of books.

They stopped in front of a smaller section in the library, Reid looked almost upset at how small it was. Corey scanned the titles, picking out a few of his favourites before handing them to Reid. He looked them over, before looking back to Corey.

“Can you tell me about them?”

“You don’t want to find out?”

“I do...I just want to hear your take on them.”

Corey blinked, but nodded and led Reid to a pair of armchairs. Gingerly, he took the books back and held up the first one. He explained each one with the minimum amount of detail possible, wanting Reid to experience the joy of reading them himself. Once he was done with his explanations, they made their way downstairs and Reid took out all the books he suggested.

The same receptionist that had greeted them helped to check out his books, and the whole time she was making very poor attempts to flirt with Reid. Corey just rolled his eyes, wishing the girl would look at the books this man was taking out. Instead, she just chatted aimlessly, and the drone of her voice made Corey want to walk outside and wait for his friend.

But he waited, putting on a cold exterior and just standing patiently with his arms crossed over his chest. Finally, Reid stuffed the books in his bag, and they walked outside together to his car. They climbed back inside, and both men let out a small sigh.

“Is there anywhere else I can take you?” Reid asked softly.

“No, just home thanks.” Corey mumbled as he tugged his seatbelt on over his shoulder.

Reid nodded, and drove him back to his house. As they pulled into the driveway, Corey smiled at the other man and got out of the car.

“Let me know what you think of those books. I’m excited to know your perspectives.”

“I will. See you at the bureau tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about my other trans folk, but showering in the dark is the only way I keep my dysphoria at bay. Also thank you all so much for the lovely comments, they're greatly appreciated. I finished the full story, so it'll be up soon.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team starts a new case together, and Corey realizes that BAU cases may be harder for him to adapt to.

When Corey arrived at the office the next morning, there was a coffee sitting on his desk with a note. He smiled to himself, sitting down and sipping the drink while plucking the paper off his desk and sliding it into his pocket.

Once he got settled, he opened the note and scanned the familiar scrawl that marked the page.

_Thank you for yesterday, I already finished two books and I’m sure we have lots to talk about. - Spencer_

Corey folded the note and tucked it into his pocket, before pulling a notepad from his desk and writing his response to the genius doctorate holder sitting a few feet away.

_I had a good time. We can talk on the next plane ride home. - Corey_

He folded it, and as he got up to walk across the office, he slipped it onto the other man’s desk. Emily and Morgan seemed to be oblivious to the note passing, but Reid saw and picked up the paper as soon as it landed on the table.

JJ came barging into the room with an armful of files, handing one to Corey as she walked past him to the other team members.

“Meet in five, okay?”

Corey and the others nodded in acknowledgement, and they all grabbed their respective coffees before going into the briefing room.

Photos appeared on the screen as Garcia and JJ set up the presentation about their newest case, and Corey skimmed through his folder trying to keep a straight face. He was still adjusting to the extreme cases the BAU handled, but was determined to one day be as straight-faced as the others.

Some would call it terrible, to be immune to such horrors, but that was the nature of the job. Hotch and Rossi entered the room, and JJ began to explain the details of the victims. The more the team talked, the more Corey found it difficult to concentrate. Mostly because they all looked like _him_. Or at least how he had looked before transitioning. Brunettes, with slim faces and bright blue eyes.

Now, here they were. Shot and left for dead off park paths and running trails. Corey's stomach churned the longer he stared at their faces, but he couldn't look away. Until Reid's hand came down on his shoulder, making him jump.

"You okay?"

"Yep." Corey muttered, gathering his folders and moving to grab his bag from his desk. Reid followed him, watching in concern as Corey proceeded to chug his coffee and nod to himself that he could make it through the case.

\---

The team met on the plane, discussing victimology and how they could build a geographic profile. Corey kept quiet, only speaking when addressed. It held a dual purpose, he was able to keep a cool head and show Hotch and the team respect. He was still new, and he felt as though he had stepped on several toes already.

But Reid clearly wasn't buying it, and as soon as Hotch let them take a break, he cornered Corey at the back of the plane.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really." Corey grumbled, and Reid rolled his eyes.

"Talking normally helps…"

"Fine." Corey said, turning to stare Reid in the eyes. "They look like me."

"Who?"

"The women, the victims. They look like me from just a few months ago. I could have been one of them, it's just luck honestly."

Reid was left speechless, and Corey rolled his eyes before making his way back over to the team and joining their conversation. The taller man came back a minute later, and they all got into the case.

"When we land, I want you and Reid to start the geographical profile." Hotch said to Corey, who nodded and smiled at the taller man. Reid nodded as well, trying to focus exclusively on his file. Corey sighed softly, going back to his own file and trying to ignore the pang of disappointment in his stomach.

The rest of the plane ride was spent in relative silence, as they all worked on their respective tasks. Corey pulled up a map on his phone and slowly shuffled to sit next to Spencer once more. He gestured to the map, and Reid nodded before they started marking out key points that corresponded with the murders.

When they landed, Reid copied the work they had done on the plane to a larger map at the police headquarters. Together they began to piece together a comfort region for the unsub. But even with three victims, they couldn't locate the comfort zone of their unsub.

They paused for a few minutes, Reid leaving the room to get water for the both of them. Corey took the time to look over the crime scene photos, letting out a small sigh as he glanced at the women. They were beautiful, and from interviewing their families they were all innocent people. This job had taught Corey to never assume someone was innocent, but he still wanted to believe it.

Reid came running back in, JJ hot on his heels. She had a photo clutched in her hand, and Corey's heart sank.

"She was just found half an hour ago. We got her name and photo from her driver's license." JJ said as she pinned the photo up alongside the other victims. Corey nodded to himself before clearing his throat and approaching the map with a marker.

"Where was she found?"

JJ listed the names at the street intersection, and Corey drew a bright red dot. Reid stepped closer to the map, using his own marker to begin tracing lines that connected different dots to a central point.

"We got him." Corey breathed a sigh of relief, and JJ walked out already on the phone with Hotch.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corey and Reid hang out on the plane, but the genius is giving off mixed signals.

Once the case was settled, the team found themselves back on the jet to Quantico. Corey sat alone in a corner, gazing out the window at the clouds.

He still remembered just two days prior, waking up with Spencer Reid in his bed. It had felt good, not being alone. But then he had gone off on the other man, sheltered himself with the same defenses and anger he always turned to.

It was irresponsible of Corey to assume that Reid would know what trans people needed to cope day-to-day. Before their library visit, Reid had barely seen any form of queer literature, let alone read any. He sighed, crossing his arms as he looked out the window and mentally beating himself up over his stupid reactions.

Movement caught his eyes, and he looked up to see the man he couldn't stop thinking about standing over him.

"Can I sit?" Reid asked softly, and Corey nodded as he bit the inside of his cheek. They sat in silence for a minute before Reid pulled free two books from his bag. "I, uh, read these two already. I thought we could-"

"I'm sorry."

Reid froze, blinking in confusion. Corey once again curled in on himself, pulling his knees up into the chair and resting his chin on top of them.

"You don't have anything to apologize for."

"I do...I freaked out on you the other morning. It was an accident, and uncalled for. You don't know what it’s like to be a trans man, and I can’t expect you to. It’s just hard waking up every day in the wrong body, with the wrong voice, and it tears you apart even when people don’t think you’re bothered by it.”

“That’s um...that’s your dysphoria?” Reid asked cautiously.

“Yeah, part of it.”

“I read about it,” Reid said as he gestured to one of the books on the table, “I figured it was part of what happened then.”

Corey nodded, trying to avoid eye contact with Reid. He felt embarrassed trying to explain how he felt, and he knew he had been overreacting over the last few days. But Reid was being so patient with him, he deserved an explanation.

“I know I’ve probably been overreacting. Just my dysphoria is something that’s always there. I don’t have my surgeries, I’ve just started testosterone. I’m still wearing chest binders, I can hear my voice in my head and how high pitched it is. All these things are floating through my mind when I’m not working. If I seem on edge, I probably am, because it doesn’t go away. I’ve tried to quiet it, but it never works for long.”

Reid moved forward and gently pried Corey’s hands from clutching his legs. He held them while running his thumbs over the smaller man’s knuckles. Slowly, Corey started to relax and focused back to the books on the table.

“You read those first?”

“Well, they were the most technical, and I enjoy studying and facts more than fiction.”

Corey chuckled before nodding to himself and leaning back into his seat. Then he moved to sit next to Reid and picked up one of the books. He tapped it on Reid’s lap before smiling at him and gesturing for him to talk. He returned the smile as he opened the book and turned to a page to show a quote to Corey. 

Just as they were getting into a deeper conversation, the plane began its descent and they had to tug their seatbelts on. As the plane moved closer to the ground, Reid packed away the books and glanced over at the other team members.

“If everyone could stay at Quantico and finish their reports tonight, you can have a day off tomorrow.” Hotch said as they landed, and the team all agreed.

When Corey’s feet hit the ground, he rushed to follow Reid out of the plane, but Emily pulled him aside and over towards her car.

“So? What’s with you two?”

“Nothing Em.” Corey muttered, picking at his nails.

“Don’t lie…” Emily teased as they climbed into her car and she started the engine.

“I’m not lying. We barely got to talk before the plane landed. Besides, you can’t have relationships on the team. It takes away the key part of how we work, being a team. If Spencer and I are together, then we could end up caring more about each other than the rest of the team. Hotch would kill us, let alone the HR complaints.”

Emily nodded as they drove down the road, her fingers drumming against the steering wheel.

“Oh well, I’m sure you two can figure it out. If anyone could, I’d put my money on you and Reid.”

“Appreciate it. I don’t think he’s looking for that kind of a relationship.”

Emily continued to talk as they made the short drive back to their offices, and when Corey reached his desk he was really wishing she would stop. Not that he disliked Emily or the mostly one-sided conversation they’d been having, but exhaustion was setting in.

The whole team arrived around the same time, and headed to their desk to start filling out paperwork. Corey became lost in the writing, his pen flying over the pages as he wrote detailed accounts of his participation in developing the geographical profile and the eventual capture and confession the team had accomplished.

Once he was done, he compiled everything into his folder and walked up to Hotch’s office. He knocked once and waited for the unit chief to gesture to let him in. He handed the folder to Hotch wordlessly and made his way to leave.

“Agent Dorian, if you could close the door and have a seat.”

Corey bit his lip, but did as Hotch said and sat across from him.

“If you need to talk to someone, I understand-”

“Wait, what?” Corey interrupted, confusion and concern spreading through his mind like wildfire. Did Hotch know that he and Reid had this...thing?

“I noticed your discomfort in this case, and while it does become less impactful over time, to begin work in this unit is to see the worst humanity has to offer. While you may become immune to the horror, you cannot lose yourself in the process.”

“Oh, thank you Hotch. Um, I’ll consider it. It was just...the girls in the last case.”

“They looked like you.” Corey blinked and looked at the unit chief. “I overheard you and Reid on the plane.”

Corey nodded, before thanking the older man and leaving the room. A conversation died down, and everyone who had gathered around Morgan’s desk scattered back to their own work. A few guilty looks were thrown his way as he walked down into the bullpen and everyone turned to their desks and paperwork.

He sighed to himself as he got to his desk and grabbed his few personal belongings before waving a goodbye to his coworkers and going to get his bike. Once he was on the road, the wind blowing in his face, he could relax again.

As he rode, he thought about Reid and their time spent on the plane. The feeling of his hands in Reid’s, his head on Reid’s shoulder as they talked. But then they had landed, and the taller man had said nothing to him for the rest of the night. All he got was a wave goodbye, and it seemed like so little after so much.

The mysterious Dr. Reid never let on how he felt about Corey, but from Corey’s experiences, he was sure that the other man was much more interested in having a new friend to give him book recommendations as opposed to a boyfriend. 

That meant commitment and promises and the greater likelihood to hurt one another. While Corey was certain Reid wouldn’t hurt him physically, the emotional impacts were often worse than the physical ones.

As he pulled up to his house, Corey muttered a few soft curses at the other man as he unlocked his house and pulled his bike inside. Locking the door and disabling the alarm, fatigue hit him like a brick and he barely managed to get himself out of his work clothes and into a shirt and sweatpants before collapsing in bed asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corey and Reid sort their shit out, after a lot of back and forth.

The next week was a lot of the same. Notes passed between the pair, conversations on the plane rides for cases. But when they were on a case or in the office, Reid seemed a bit indifferent to Corey. Not that he wasn’t friendly, just less potentially willing to let their fingers brush against each other or catch themselves looking into each other’s eyes.

When they had met outside of work, these small moments just happened. Neither really acknowledged them, but just let them happen naturally. It made both of them seem much more relaxed. Which made Spencer acting like it never happened in the office more hurtful and draining for Corey.

So on the next plane ride back from a case, Corey finally decided to do something. Instead of sitting next to Reid and letting their hands brush under the table as they talked, or sharing a book between the pair, Corey took his file early from Hotch and started writing in the back corner of the plane.

Emily joined him eventually, while Reid sat looking confused from where he relaxed across from Morgan.

“Trouble in paradise?”

“No,” Corey muttered as he flipped through pages and wrote furiously, “no paradise to begin with.”

Emily’s fingers gently pulled the folder down to touch the table, as Corey’s rage had lifted it free of the surface.

“Look, you two need to talk about-”

“There’s nothing to talk about. Like I said, this can’t work in the team dynamic.”

Corey finished writing his last sentence before clicking his pen closed and slamming the folder together. Emily laced her fingers together and rested her hands on the table, patiently waiting for him to calm down.

“You should meet up with him, outside of here, and talk it out.”

“I’m over this,” Corey muttered as angry tears threatened to prick the corner of his eyes, “if he wants something from me, he can say. Not this back and forth that confuses the hell out of me. I joined the BAU for a job and a fresh start, not for more dramatics.”

Before Emily could respond, JJ came and sat next to the woman. Corey saw Emily freeze for a slight second, and he allowed a small smirk before the frustration hit him again.

“Hey-”

“JJ, I’m really not in the mood for a pep talk,” Corey whispered.

“I know what’s going on. I think maybe the only people who don’t are Morgan and Hotch, but Emily’s right Corey. You should talk to him.”

“Thank you for your input,” Corey said as he stood and gathered his folder, “but I can handle this.”

Handing the completed folder to his unit chief, Corey took refuge in the deserted corner of the plane and watched the clouds roll by out the window. No one bothered him for the rest of the flight, and once they landed he immediately made his way home.

Getting inside his house, he tossed his work bag to the couch before moving to turn on his record player and get a drink. Tchaikovsky echoed from the record player, and Corey immediately relaxed slightly. Classical music always calmed his mind and helped him focus. Armed now with a bottle of red wine and a glass, he sat on the couch and poured his first of what he assumed would be many drinks.

The music swelled around him, letting his mind wander as he took slow sips from the glass. He soon let go of the concerns surrounding Spencer, the stress of work, and even forgot about his dysphoria for a while.

But a loud knock on the front door pulled him from his thoughts, and he jumped into action. Leaving the glass on the coffee table, he pulled his gun from his work bag and moved slowly to the front door. He looked through the peephole and bit his lip before holstering his gun and unlocking the door.

A somewhat disheveled looking Reid stood on his front steps. Wordlessly, he gestured for the older man to come inside before walking back to the couch and picking up his glass once more.

Reid closed the front door, the sound of the lock reassuring Corey that he still respected the safety precautions Corey put as personal protection.

“Is that Swan Lake?”

“A section of it,” Corey muttered as he drank more wine, “just know the composer. I get lost in the ballets sometimes.”

Eventually, Reid sat next to Corey. He paid the other man little attention, as his focus had been to try and forget.

“We need to-”

“I swear to God, if you say ‘talk’ I might throw this wine at you,” Corey grumbled.

“But we do. We can’t keep this up.”

Corey groaned, and wordlessly put his glass down as he stood and walked back to the kitchen. Pulling another wine glass free, he walked back towards a confused Reid. Before sitting down, he lifted the needle from the record player, leaving them in silence as he poured Reid a glass and refilled his own.

“Fine, talk.”

“Uh, well…I want you to know that I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you.”

“That’s nice.” Corey took another long sip of wine, and Reid slowly picked up the glass set aside for him to drink.

“I, look I’m not good with stuff like this.”

“Just say that it’s been fun, but we’re coworkers and it has to end. I get it. I’m not stupid.” Corey said as he watched Reid from the corner of his eye.

“What?”

“Is that not what you’re trying to say?”

“No…I-” Reid cut himself off, frustration evident on his face.

“Then fine, I’ll talk. I don’t know what game you’re trying to play with me, but it’s not been fun. Whenever we’re alone, or mostly alone, you act like the nicest person in the world. We can just read books and talk about things, be close and not have to worry. But then as soon as it’s off the plane and inside Quantico you act like I barely exist. I’m tired of it, and if you just want to be acquaintances then say it now.”

Reid’s mouth opened and closed a few times, before he put his glass down and took Corey’s hands in his. His thumbs ran over Corey’s knuckles, just like on the plane.

“That’s not what I want.”

“Then-”

“Corey, just shut up. I’m trying to say that I want to go out with you!”

It was Corey’s turn to be silent, and he gently pulled a hand free to take a long sip of wine before turning back to the genius sitting in front of him.

“You…you what? After all the back and forth, you want to date me?” Reid nodded, and Corey let out a shaky breath. “Okay, but you have to understand something.”

“Of course.” Reid’s voice was incredibly soft, like he was afraid of breaking Corey.

“I need things to go slow. No sudden initiations of things, like kissing or something. I just...warnings are helpful. Um, and while I may be drinking right now, I don’t often and it’s never to a point of blacking out. If you come over drunk, I may kick you out.”

Reid nodded again, before gently holding his arms open in an invitation. Corey fell into them, letting the warmth and steady beating of Reid’s heart calm him and remind him that this was real.

They pulled apart and Corey quickly put away the wine and glasses, before taking Reid’s hands and guiding him towards his bedroom.

“I just figured there’s more room in here, and we can relax.”

“Of course,” Reid smiled and gently hugged Corey, “you want to change at all?”

Corey nodded, and grabbed some comfort clothes before moving to the bathroom to change. He tugged the binder off over his head, before changing into the clothes he had brought with him and moved back to his bedroom.

He was pleasantly surprised to see Reid had also changed while he was in the bathroom, and they climbed under the bed covers together. Reid let Corey rest his head on his arm, and together they lay there and talked in hushed tones.

As they were laying together, one of Reid’s hands accidentally brushed over Corey’s chest, and he froze.

“I’m so sorry. It wasn’t meant to-”

“It’s okay,” Corey whispered as he pulled his body closer to Reid’s in the hopes that his chest would flatten slightly and be ignored by the other man, “please just don’t mention it.”

Eventually, the more they talked, the more sleep overtook them both and they ended up asleep wrapped around each other. Neither one cared if it was a bit uncomfortable, because it meant so much to both of them to finally be where they were.

Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our couple is finally together! But don't worry, we still have a lot to go through with them.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid and Corey wake up and start their morning together, but a new case come in for the BAU.

Phones ringing shook Corey awake, Reid’s arm laying across him pinning him to the mattress. The other man was still fast asleep, and Corey squirmed up enough to pull his arm free and grab his phone from the bedside table.

“Hello?”

“Corey?” JJ’s voice pulled him out of his sleepy state.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“We have another case, I need you in.”

“Of course,” Corey let out a soft grunt as he sat up and wiped the sleep from his eyes, “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Do you know where Spence is? I can’t get a hold of him.”

Corey glanced at the sleeping man before answering his coworker.

“I’ll give him a call. Don’t worry, we’ll both be there soon.”

JJ thanked him before hanging up, and he got up and picked up his pillow. He took a slow breath before tossing it at Reid, who shook awake at the impact.

“Sorry, just JJ called. We have a case.”

Reid groaned, falling back onto the bed and looking out the window at the morning sun.

“Five more minutes?”

“No, now come on!”

Corey grabbed a change of clothes and entered the bathroom, pulling the fresh clothes on and using a light dusting of makeup to highlight his more masculine facial features. As he exited the bathroom, a fully dressed Reid was waiting outside.

“That wasn’t five minutes.”

“No, I saw all her calls. It must be serious.”

With that, Reid entered the bathroom and shut the door. Corey moved to the kitchen and grabbed an orange from a bowl on the counter. His work bag sat on the couch where he had left it last night, and he slung it over his shoulder as he worked to peel the orange and pull his shoes on.

Reid came out into the hallway and chuckled at Corey’s non-stop movements. As they opened the front door, Corey remembered to prime the alarm before following Spencer to his car.

He pried the orange apart, offering half to his new boyfriend as he climbed into the car. Reid took it with a smile and pulled a slice free before popping it into his mouth. He handed it back to Corey as he started the car and Corey pulled his seatbelt on.

Driving to Quantico was shorter than biking, but it felt just as relaxing. Maybe it was because so much tension had eased off the pair the previous night, or Corey had just finally had a good night’s sleep. Regardless, they were both happy.

Arriving at the BAU, Reid took back his half of the orange and ate it as they made their way inside and to the elevator.

“How serious do you think this is?”

“The last time JJ called me so much was when she figured out how to find the Reaper.”

“I read about that case,” Corey muttered as the elevator rose, “sometimes I forget how many cases the BAU has handled.”

“In total or just this year?” Reid asked, and Corey shrugged.

“I’m assuming you know both.”

Reid nodded, eating more of the orange as the elevator dinged and opened for them to walk out to the glass entryway of their office.

Emily and Morgan were at their desks, and as they walked in together the woman raised an eyebrow at the pair.

“Good morning,” she said with a chuckle, “have a good night?”

“Not bad.” Corey smirked, and Morgan glanced from Reid to Corey.

“Is there something I’m missing?”

“No, we were just discussing some details from the last case.”

“The last couple of cases.” Reid added, flipping through papers on his desk but not making eye contact.

“Oh...fun,” Morgan shrugged.

Emily let out a chuckle before giving Corey a knowing look and glancing to the door where JJ came rushing in with an armful of folders. As the blonde rushed past and waved them all to follow, it was Corey’s turn to give Emily a look as her eyes followed JJ for just a second longer than everyone else.

As they walked up to the round table, Reid interlocked his hand with Corey’s and squeezed gently, just for a moment before they separated and sat next to each other. JJ handed out files as she began detailing the newest case.

“Someone has been leaving ciphers for the police to follow,” Reid immediately grabbed a copy of the cipher and began to read, “and they haven’t been able to determine exactly what it means.”

“I am going to…” Reid trailed off as his finger ran across the cipher.

“You recognize it?” Rossi asked as the genius continued scanning the document.

“Maybe, I need more time with it.”

“Well, the killer is leaving a body with each note so I don’t think the police want more of them.”

“How many bodies are there?” Emily asked as she flipped through her folder.

“Three, so there are more ciphers.”

“I need them.” Reid spoke up and Corey nodded to JJ.

“Alright, let’s figure this out and get some stress off the local P.D. Wheel’s up in 15,” Hotch said.

The team nodded, and Corey lightly put a hand on Spencer’s shoulder. He blinked before noticing everyone getting up and packed up his own folder.

“Could I get a ride to the airstrip?”

“Yeah, um, sorry. Just I know this cipher from somewhere, I can’t pinpoint it.”

“Don’t overwork that brain, come on.” Corey muttered, pulling Reid towards the elevator as soon as he had his go-bag.

Once they were on the plane, Reid was right back into work mode with the ciphers, scribbling messy letters across the pages as his mind began turning. As the plane began to lift off, Corey tapped Reid’s knee under the table to make him stop just so the incline didn’t make his papers shift or he could lose his place.

“Alright, Reid and JJ will go to the local station. JJ focus on keeping the press out of this, Reid I need that cipher cracked.” Hotch began to ramble off tasks to everyone, and Corey’s heart sank slightly when he realized he wouldn’t get to be with Reid right away. “Prentiss, you and Dorian can go to the most recent crime scene. Morgan, I need you to go to the coroner’s office. They have details on how the victim’s died. Rossi and I will be meeting with the most recent victim’s families.”

Everyone nodded in acknowledgement of their respective duties, and Garcia wished them all luck from the laptop set up next to Hotch. Once she disappeared, the team began throwing out ideas about the killer.

“The cipher suggests someone organized, as do the bodies.” Morgan pointed out as he gestured to the paper Reid was investigating.

“But there’s no type, no connections between the victims,” Emily interjected.

“Clearly, he’s killed both men and women.” Hotch noted as he glanced over his file.

“The bodies are likely calling cards, the cipher is what’s important to him,” Rossi muttered.

Corey nodded, letting his eyes roll over the photographs of the bodies laying in abandoned parking lots or by a riverbed.

“The dump sites look like forensic countermeasures, as well as the distance between them. They range across the city, and they’re high traffic areas so not much evidence is left.”

“He leaves them face down, remorse?” Rossi posed to the group.

“Most likely,” Reid said as he put his pencil down, “he doesn’t want to see them once they’re dead. Like Rossi said they’re a means to an end. The cipher is his goal.”

“You solved it?”

Reid nodded, passing the paper to Corey who scanned it over. The message read:

_I am going to kill until you stop me. Let the games continue._

“How’d you crack it?” Corey asked.

“It’s a basic Caesar Cipher, old but practical. It proves that this unsub wants his message found quickly.”

“Good job Reid,” Hotch smiled proudly from across the table, “you’ll need to decipher the other two when we land still.”

Corey squeezed Reid’s hand under the table and shot him a reassuring smile. Reid nodded before turning back to the cipher to analyze it further. It would be a long few days.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily tries to find out what happened between Corey and Reid, and the new couple makes a break in the case.
> 
> TW: mentions of blood and crime scenes (just covering my bases)

Emily knew something was up, but Corey was adamant to keep his and Reid’s secret as long as possible.

“Look, did you two at least talk?”

“Yeah, we talked,” Corey said.

“And?”

“And...nothing. We just came to an agreement. So we’re both on the same page.”

Her eyes narrowed as they walked up to the crime scene, but Corey turned his attention to the police officers waiting for them.

An officer guided them to the exact location the body had been found, and Emily also focused on the area.

“Is there something else you’ve found?”

“No, the foot traffic in the area destroyed any evidence that could have been here,” the crime scene officer said.

“We’ll just take a look around anyways.” Corey smiled at the officer, who shrugged and walked away muttering something about how they were wasting their time.

Emily scoffed before walking with Corey towards the alley the body had been found in. As they looked around, Corey noticed a bloody tarp laying next to a dumpster.

“Was the body wrapped?” he muttered, and Emily glanced over to where he was looking.

“No…”

She gently lifted the tarp, and Corey let out a small gasp. On the ground was another cipher, this one written in what could only be the victim’s blood.

“Officer! I need a camera here.”

The cop tripped over his feet as he raced over, muttering curses under his breath as he waved over another man with a camera.

“Get these photos back to the station, to Dr. Spencer Reid.” Corey instructed, and both officers nodded before scurrying off.

“What does this mean?” Emily asked.

“I think it means we need to see the other crime scenes. Or it’s an escalation.”

“I’ll call Hotch,” Emily muttered.

Corey glanced down the alley, trying to figure out the feeling that something was still missing. But before he could decipher it, Emily came back and told him they were headed back to the police station.

He shook his head and followed her to the car, and once they were inside they both let out a slow sigh.

“So you’re not together?”

“Not the time Emily!”

\---

When they arrived at the station, Corey immediately went to Reid’s side, holding a freshly printed photograph of the cipher they found at the crime scene.

“Need your brain, genius.”

Reid blinked before smiling and nodded, taking the cipher and pinning it up next to the others.

“Shouldn’t take me long.”

“Of course not, my genius works fast for me.” Corey whispered and winked, which made Reid blush and look away.

“Don’t, not here.”

“Fine,” Corey grumbled, “but you will still hurry yes?”

Reid chuckled before grabbing a marker and taking it to the image, his hand scribbling letters to form the unsub’s hidden message.

“We have a problem,” he muttered.

“What?”

Reid handed the message to Corey: _She was dying, I helped her._

He let out a soft curse and rushed out of the room. He pushed past the bodies of officers towards where Hotch and Rossi were standing with the police chief.

“Hotch! You need to see this.” Corey passed the note to them both, and Hotch looked it over quickly.

“Why? What does it say?” The police chief tried to look at the page, and Rossi passed it to him.

“It changes the whole profile. We have to bring the whole team back here, now.”

Corey nodded and rushed to pass the message to JJ before returning to Reid, who now was looking at each of the victim’s medical records.

“Call Garcia.”

Corey scrambled to pull his phone out and dialed the technical analyst, who answered as chipper as always.

“How can I help today my beauties?”

“We need to know if the most recent victim had any fatal medical conditions.”

“What kind are we talking here?” Garcia asked, confusion and concern filling her voice.

“Something sudden, um, cancer of some sort. Any illness that would give them a short clock.”

Corey waited as he heard Garcia’s fingers typing furiously against her keyboard.

“Wait a second...yes! The latest victim had just received a stage four cancer diagnosis and was given six months at the most. The cancer was in her brain and heart...oh..”

“What?”

“It was deemed inoperable, so she refused treatment and instead had booked a flight to Europe. Apparently according to her social media, she wanted to see her family one last time.”

“Thank you Garcia.” Corey said softly.

“Mmhmm, you’ll find this guy right?”

“Of course.”

“Good, Garcia out.”

Corey sighed as he put the phone away and turned to Reid.

“Anything?”

“Yeah, both of the other patients were also terminally ill,” he paused to look from the files to the cipher, then to Corey. “We’re dealing with an Angel of Death.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nighttime falls, and the team goes to rest. Corey sneaks into Reid's room and spends sometime talking to someone he didn't expect.

Hours later, the team had no further leads and Hotch insisted they all get a few hours of rest and come back fresh to the case. Corey, Emily, Reid and Morgan all left together, Rossi stayed to keep Hotch company and JJ was organizing a press conference for the next day.

“So how do we tell the cops that it could be one of them?” Corey asked as they walked.

“It likely isn’t, more likely a doctor or paramedic who has had run-ins with all the victims. Garcia was running a list of all medical personnel they came in contact with.” Reid explained, and Corey nodded before gently intertwining his fingers with the taller man.

They all entered the hotel together, and Emily chuckled when she noticed their hand-holding.

“You two gonna talk or no?”

“Nothing to talk about.” Reid muttered, glancing up the stairs as they walked.

“Pretty boy, c’mon. Dorian you too?” Morgan asked as he and Emily followed the pair chuckling.

Corey felt a slight pang of anger, but suppressed it. They reached their individual rooms, and Reid released his hand.

“See you in the morning guys.”

With that he closed his door, and Emily nearly pounced on Corey.

“Please, it would be such a nice distraction…”

“Emily,” Corey turned to face her and Morgan, “both of you listen to me just once. I’m not telling you anything, and there’s nothing to tell.”

He entered his room, closing the door and locking it. Once he heard Emily and Morgan go into their rooms, he opened the door again and tip-toed to Reid’s room, knocking gingerly on the door.

It opened, and Reid peeked his head out.

“Can I come in?”

Reid nodded, pulling Corey in before locking his door and ushering him further inside.

“What’s wrong?”

“I, uh…” Corey trailed off, not wanting to admit that he didn’t want to be alone.

“What?” Reid asked softly, moving closer to Corey.

“I just needed to be here.”

Reid nodded, before gently removing his vest and laying it on the bed. Corey pulled his tie loose, before beginning to unbutton his dress shirt.

“Um, do you want to shower first?” Reid asked, and Corey nodded.

As he showered, Corey could hear his boyfriend talking outside the bathroom. He hurried to finish and emerged in his sleep clothes. Reid was on the phone, and Corey gingerly moved to sit on the bed.

“...yeah mom, we’re a little far from Nevada right now. But I should be home to visit soon.”

Corey froze when he realized who Spencer was talking to, but his boyfriend smiled reassuringly to him.

“Mom, can I introduce you to someone?” A pause, before Reid continued. “Uh, you remember the boy I was telling you about? Yeah, he’s here. Do you want to talk to him?”

Corey gestured for Reid to stop, but his boyfriend instead put the call on speakerphone and sat next to him.

“Uh…hi Ms. Reid.”

“Diana, please.”

Reid smiled encouragingly, and Corey continued.

“Sorry, Diana...how are you?”

“Oh just telling the doctors that I’m crazy so they’ll leave me alone. Spencer tells me you’re from California.”

“I am, but I left a little while ago.”

“I never liked the desert, always so hot. Skin itches.”

Reid nodded to Corey and slid the phone back towards him.

“Yeah, uh mom? Would you be against it if I brought Corey home the next time I visit?”

“Oh, of course not Spencer. But you only come for a visit, don’t let the doctors try and imprison you here too.”

“Yeah, good night Mom.”

“Good night. Talk to you tomorrow.”

Reid nodded before hanging up the phone and looking at Corey cautiously. Corey just smiled and let his head rest on Spencer’s shoulder, wrapping an arm around his waist and relaxing.

“She seems nice,” Corey whispered.

“She is.”

“Did you mean that? Bringing me home with you?”

Spencer nodded, avoiding eye contact with Corey.

“We haven’t even told the team, we’ve been together two days.”

“Are you saying you don’t want to?”

“No!” Corey said, and Reid’s eyes snapped to meet his. “God no…I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t crazy. Maybe it’s because we’ve been having this on and off thing for so long, maybe I just know it’s right. But I want to do so much with you.”

Reid smiled and gently wrapped an arm around Corey, pulling him into his chest and pressing a light kiss to his forehead.

“You should sleep.”

“So should you.” Corey muttered, inhaling slowly to take in his boyfriend’s cologne. It wasn’t strong like the other team members, much softer and welcoming like the taller man.

Reid stood up to move into the bathroom. Corey lay back on the bed, scrolling through his phone and thinking of things he and Reid could do together. When his boyfriend exited in sweats with his hair wet, Corey cursed under his breath.

“What was that?”

 _He looks hot as hell_.

“Nothing.”

The two lay together, Reid’s arm slowly falling over Corey’s body as he pulled him closer until his back hit Reid’s chest.

“You know you whisper a lot?” Corey hummed in response and smiled. “It’s something people do when they don’t trust someone with what they’re saying.”

“Spencer…” Corey mumbled as he rolled over and smiled, “I trust you. But you just started dating me and I’m not spilling all my secrets just yet.”

“Sorry.” Reid whispered and tried to look away.

“Hey,” Corey turned Reid’s face back to his, “if you must know I said you look hot.”

“Oh…”

Corey chuckled, before hugging Reid and ruffling his hair.

“Sorry, just thought you wouldn’t want to hear it. I don’t know your comfort levels.”

“That’s fine...we should sleep. We need to be up early tomorrow.”

Corey nodded, hugging Reid once more before turning over so his back was flush to his boyfriend’s chest once more.

“Good night Spencer.”

“Night Corey.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team finally finds their unsub, and Corey shoots someone for the first time.
> 
> TW: shock, anxiety attacks

The pair found themselves back in the police station early the next morning. Corey brought over a large coffee to Reid, passing it to him and giving him a small smile before they delved back into the terrors of their job.

“We have to deliver the profile this morning, if he’s an angel of death and he thinks he’s justified then he’s already got another target.”

“Reid, you’ll stress yourself to death thinking like that.” Corey muttered and his boyfriend sighed before turning back to his board.

“Good morning you early birds.” Morgan’s voice came from behind them, and Corey spun around to smile at him.

“Morning. You ready to get back into this?”

He sighed but nodded, before picking up a folder and sitting across from Corey.

"So an Angel of Death who thinks that killing these people is saving them from a long and painful death."

"But none of them were public with their diagnoses. So it has to be someone in the medical business." Corey pointed out as he looked from Reid to his folder.

"That's quite common," Reid muttered as he tapped a marker against his thigh, "most are first responders or some form of medically trained personnel."

Morgan sighed and pulled out his phone to call Garcia, while Reid and Corey began flipping through paper files to try and find any matching names. Hotch and Rossi came in a few minutes later, with Emily pulling in last with more coffee and a string of new ideas.

“Okay Dorian,” Hotch called, “you and Reid will stay here and see if there are any other factors that point to who he could be striking next. The rest of us will deliver the profile to the local PD.”

The team filed out, and Corey moved closer to his boyfriend. Reid was clearly lost in thought, his lips barely moving at his fingers traced across page after page of medical records that they had just received.

“Find anything?”

Reid jumped slightly, before shaking his head and going back to his pages. Corey picked up his own folder and copied the man next to him. The more files they scanned, the less Corey paid attention to his environment.

His phone buzzing in his pocket pulled him out of his trance, and he quickly answered it.

“Dorian.”

“Your resident computer goddess has some new info for you.” Garcia’s voice filled his ear, and he put her on speaker before gesturing to the rest of the team outside to join them.

“What have you got Garcia?” Hotch asked.

“Okay, so I finished that list of all the medical personnel, and it turns out that all the victims were being treated in the same hospital. So I narrowed it to just that hospital, and then just to males. I need more parameters and I might have something.”

“There’s no one doctor that connects all the victims?”

“Sadly not, so fire away.”

Hotch stepped closer to the phone, and Corey backed away to glance at the files once more.

“Narrow to the ages of 25-40?”

“Still a lot of names.”

An idea popped into Corey’s mind as the rest of the team began listing off parameters for Garcia.

“Wait a second, the message. ‘I helped her.’ It could refer to the fact that he couldn’t help someone before.” Corey exclaimed, before biting his lip to think of how to narrow Garcia’s search. “Uh, look for people who lost family to terminal illnesses, in particular those who died before the murders started.”

“Give me one second…” Garica’s fingers typed furiously, “and Dorian gets the gold star! I have one guy whose mother succumbed to dementia a week before the first murder. His name is…”

As Garcia began listing off information, Corey left to grab his vest. Once his was strapped on, he grabbed the others before heading back. Reid met him and handed him back his cellphone before taking a vest.

The ride in their SUVs was hectic, with Hotch and Morgan discussing strategy over the phone while Corey sat in the backseat with JJ.

“Is everything okay?”

Corey blinked and looked at the blonde woman.

“What?”

“It’s just, I’ve heard rumors floating about you and Reid. I don’t know what your relationship is like-”

“JJ, I respect you,” Corey cut her off before Hotch could overhear their conversation, “but there’s nothing to know. We’re friends and coworkers.”

They came to an abrupt stop outside of the unsub’s house, and they jumped out of the car. Corey drew his gun, pointing it towards the house. Hotch waved him and JJ along the side of the house. They moved quietly to the door, a few SWAT agents behind them.

JJ pushed the door open, and entered the house before checking the first doorway to her right. Corey immediately checked the left, and they nodded to each other before continuing.

“Clear!” echoed through the house as the rest of the team members burst in and swarmed the residence.

“Upstairs.” Morgan muttered, and Corey followed him. A doorway sat open at the end of the hall, but they checked all other doors first. Finally, Morgan led the way into the open room. “Put your hands where I can see them.”

Corey circled to the side of Morgan, gun now trained on the unsub. He slowly lifted his hands, revealing a needle in one.

“Drop the needle.” Morgan demanded, but the man just smiled.

“Do you think they know?”

“Sir,” Corey’s voice hardened, “drop the needle now.”

“I set them free,” the unsub whispered.

Without another word, he charged at Morgan, and Corey pulled the trigger. Shots rang out as the unsub collapsed to the floor. Immediately, Morgan moved close to check for a pulse while Corey holstered his weapon.

His hands were shaking as he left the room. Sure, he had fired a weapon in training and passed his qualifications. But that was different from shooting a person.

Reid was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, and pulled Corey outside and sat him on a bench.

“Hey…”

“I, I killed him.”

“You saved Morgan.” Reid responded, trying to reason with him.

“I’ve never…shot someone before.”

“You’re going into shock.” Reid mumbled, before getting up and calling to someone for a blanket. “Corey, it’s okay.”

“No…” 

“Yes, it was a defensive maneuver.”

Eventually a blanket fell over his shoulders, but he couldn’t stop shivering. He felt himself being helped up and walking to an ambulance. His mind was a frenzy, and as he sat there and listened to the paramedics he eventually let out a few slow breaths.

“Give me a minute with him.”

Corey blinked and Reid stood over him, a sad smile on his face.

“Sorry.” Corey muttered, wiping his eyes and standing up. His legs were wobbly, and his breathing harsh but he tried to look as normal as possible.

“No, I get it. Just don’t let Hotch see.”

He nodded, biting his lip as he let the paramedics look him over once more. They cleared him and he made his way back to the SUVs. Morgan patted him on the shoulder and thanked him for having his back. Emily smiled reassuringly and opened the car door for him. Reid climbed in after, squeezing his hand gently.

“Let’s go back to the station.”

Rossi climbed in front and began to drive them back. The ride was quiet, all of them relieved for the case to be over. When they arrived at the station, Corey and Reid wordlessly began packing everything up. The silence was more comfortable than before, and when all the folders and photographs had been sorted accordingly, Corey glanced at his boyfriend and smiled.

“I’m just going to the bathroom before we fly back.”

“I’ll join you.” Reid muttered, and they walked together.

Once inside the bathroom, Reid locked the door and Corey let out a slow breath. HIs hands were still a little shaky, his mind swimming with images of the man laying dead and hearing the gunshot over and over.

“Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have freaked-”

Reid cut him off with a soft kiss, shocking Corey initially. But before the genius had a chance to pull away, he wrapped his arms around the taller man’s neck and kissed him back. They only separated when they both needed air, and were quickly back on each other.

“It’s okay, I’m here for you.” Reid reassured, pulling him into a hug.

Corey smiled as he rested his head on Reid’s chest, letting his steady heartbeat remind him that he wasn’t alone. Everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How would y'all feel about a series of shorts with these two once this fic is over? I have a bunch of ideas that didn't quite fit in here, and I still wanted to write them down. But would you read it? Just curious, let me know :)
> 
> Thank you as always for the awesome support on this fic, I'm so glad to have reached a lot of people who enjoy what I write! You all keep commenting with theories and it's hard to not want to post everything at once so you can all know the full story!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid invites Corey back to his place, but when Corey remembers it's time for his shot, his boyfriend get's freaked out.
> 
> TW: mentions of drug abuse and addiction, Corey administers a needle to himself

Arriving back at Quantico, Corey and Reid filled out their individual paperwork before grabbing their bags and wishing their coworkers a good night. They walked towards the elevator together, Reid typing on his phone.

“Uh, if you have to go home I understand.” Corey mumbled, thinking about how to get back to his place. “I can take a cab if needed.”

“Oh, I was wondering if you wanted to come to my place for the night.”

“Sure.” Corey smiled as the elevator doors closed, gently intertwining his fingers with Reid’s.

They made their way to Reid’s car, and Corey settled in the passenger seat. As they pulled out of the parking lot, the car was quiet. Both of them were tired from the case they had just worked, and it was relaxing to sit and watch the streetlights cast shadows across them as they drove.

Eventually, Corey turned the radio on, and soft piano music filled their ears. He paused, taking in the piece before turning to Reid.

“Beethoven?”

“Yeah, I tend to listen to classical music. Less chance of guilt by association.”

Corey nodded in understanding, the sweet tones of _Fur Elise_ bringing him in and out of daydreams.

“I always preferred Tchaikovsky,” he mused to himself, “I think I just like how he can tell a story through a series of pieces.”

Reid nodded, turning into a parking garage and making his way to a designated spot. When he parked, he smiled at Corey and got out. Corey followed, eventually catching up to the genius and grabbing his hand.

They walked to the elevator and began the ride up to Spencer’s apartment. As they stood there, Corey let out a small yawn, trying to hide it behind his hand.

“Tired?”

“No…” Corey mumbled, “I’d love to just sit and talk for a while.”

Reid agreed, and as they exited the elevator and walked to his apartment, Corey felt an energy rise up in him.

They entered the apartment, and as soon as the door was shut and locked he turned and wrapped his arms around Spencer.

“Thank you for taking care of me out there.”

Before his boyfriend could answer, he reached up and pressed a kiss to his lips. Reid eagerly kissed him back, and as they separated Corey giggled at the ferocity the other man held behind his quiet facade.

“You take care of me too.” Reid finally responded as they broke apart and made their way into the apartment.

Both set their bags down and moved to the couch. Reid turned lights on and set about making an evening tea. It was becoming more of a routine for them, as it let them soothe their minds and relax before bed.

“So...Tchaikovsky?” Reid asked as he handed Corey his tea.

“Yeah, maybe it’s just the ballets. I used to do ballet…”

Corey bit his lip, holding back sudden tears as he remembered the hours spent in the dance studio, learning every move. The first time he performed on stage, his first christmas performance in _The Nutcracker_. But all of those memories were tainted now, because it wasn’t him who got to do those things. It was Dee who got to do those things.

“...Corey?”

Spencer’s voice broke him out of his thoughts, and he felt a tear roll down his cheek.

“Sorry,” he muttered as he wiped his face, “just lost in thought.”

“Your phone is ringing.”

Corey grabbed his phone, glancing down at it. He let out a soft sigh, before turning off the alarm and nodding to himself.

“Uh, not a call. Just a reminder.”

“What is it?” Reid’s voice was full of worry, and Corey stood to get his bag.

“I...uh...I have to do my shot tonight.”

Reid tilted his head in confusion, and slowly Corey produced a needle and a small glass bottle. The taller man immediately tensed at the sight, and Corey rushed to hide it.

“You’re an addict?” Reid’s voice was soft, fearful.

“What? No!” Corey exclaimed, trying to hide his offence at the statement. “Reid, this is my testosterone. For my transition.”

His boyfriend blinked, before nodding in understanding and looking down at his drink.

“Sorry, I just…”

“Talk to me.” Corey muttered as he sat next to Reid once more.

But the older man stayed silent, biting his lip and tapping his foot as he continued to stare.

“Spencer, you can tell me anything.”

“I, uh…” Reid finally put his mug down and met Corey’s eyes, “I used to be an addict. To uh, dilaudid.”

Corey nodded, gently rubbing his thumb over Spencer’s knuckles.

“How’d it start?”

“Well, um, I got…kidnapped-”

“You what?” Corey snapped to attention, bringing himself closer to his boyfriend. He swiftly wrapped an arm around Reid and held him close.

“Yeah, an unsub got the upperhand. Took me with him, and he would uh, inject me with it. I’ve been clean now for…5 years I think.”

Corey nodded, hugging his boyfriend and letting the room grow quiet. He thought about what to say before continuing.

“I’ll go to the bathroom and do it. You should call your mom right? Every night?”

Spencer nodded, and Corey stood up. He pressed a light kiss to the other man’s forehead before getting up and going to the bathroom.

Sitting on the cool tile, Corey’s hands shook slightly as he opened the needle and drew his dose from the bottle. He lined it up to his thigh and followed the directions his doctor had taught him.

When he administered the dose, he put the syringe back into its packaging and vowed to throw it out later. He exited the bathroom to see his boyfriend still on the phone, and tucked his items back into his bag before sitting on the couch and quietly finishing his tea.

Reid finished his phone call and joined Corey on the couch, letting out a sigh as he sipped his tea.

“Thank you...for sharing. I know it’s not easy, we've all been through a lot.” Corey whispered, before taking both mugs and washing them in the sink.

Spencer came up behind him, gently wrapping his arms around Corey's waist and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

"Come to bed?"

"Mmhmm, be right there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As someone not on testosterone yet I'm going off of my friend's experience for this, let me know if I messed something up and I'll change it.  
> Thank you all again for the love and support on this work :)


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer finds out one of Corey's secrets accidentally, and follow up a conversation with a breakfast date.
> 
> TW: mentions of self-harm, scars, addiction

They woke up to the usual alarms ringing, and Corey groaned as he stretched and climbed out of Reid's embrace. He moved to draw open the curtains, letting morning light enter and illuminate the room. 

His boyfriend slowly shifted and rolled over to look at him standing by the window. Corey chuckled and pressed a light kiss to his cheek before moving towards the closet to pick out some clothes, seeing as coming over to Reid's place straight from Quantico meant he didn't have any clothes aside from in his go-bag.

"What's on your arm?" Reid grumbled as he slowly sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Corey froze, forgetting he had slept in a borrowed t-shirt. He rushed to shove his arms into the closet so the scars couldn't be seen.

"Nothing," he said firmly.

"Hey," the taller man stood up and slowly walked to stand behind Corey, "you don't have to hide anything from me."

Corey bit his lip, lowering his arms to his side before exhaling and turning to face his boyfriend.

“Spence…please-”

Reid gently took both his wrists and turned his arms up to face them. Corey looked away, his stomach clenched in shame. He could feel the other man's hands shake as he looked at Corey's pale arms.

“How long?”

“I don’t know, years?” Corey muttered, tugging his wrists free and tucking his arms into his chest.

Spencer’s mouth opened, but no sound came out. He closed it, before pausing and trying to speak once more. Corey groaned and grabbed random clothes from the closet and rushed to the bathroom. He wasn't ready to have this conversation so early in the morning, and while it needed to be said, he hoped it could wait for at least five minutes.

He tugged his binder on, pausing to take a deep breath, before putting his boyfriend’s clothes on and looking at himself in the mirror. Thankfully he hadn’t picked one of Reid’s usual pieces, so hopefully the team wouldn’t notice.

Making his way to the kitchen, he set about making coffee for the both of them and ignored any sounds behind him that would indicate where Reid was. As he finished pouring in his boyfriend’s egregious amount of sugar, he turned to see the taller man sitting on the couch expectantly.

“We’ll be late.”

“Hotch texted, said we don’t have to go in until 9. So sit.”

Corey grumbled under his breath, handing Spencer his coffee and sitting next to him.

“So?”

“When did you last…”

“Um, I’ve been clean for two weeks I think.” Corey explained, scratching at his arm.

Reid noticed the action, and Corey stopped. Screw his stupid habits, profiling him was becoming easier by the second.

“That’s good. It’s a step.”

“Spence...you’re not going to fix me. I really hope that’s not your goal.”

“No!” Reid said hurriedly. “That’s not what I’m doing. It’s just…self-harm is like addiction. I’ve been through it.”

Corey nodded in defeat, slowly relaxing his arms. Slowly, Spencer pulled his sleeves up to examine the scars, before gently pressing a kiss to each arm.

“I don’t hold this against you. I know that life hasn’t been kind to you.”

_That’s an understatement._

“But I will be here for you.” Reid continued, breaking Corey’s thoughts. “No matter what. We’ll get through this all together.”

Corey nodded, pulling the sleeves back down and leaning forward to kiss his boyfriend. They both smiled into the kiss, and he couldn’t help a few stray tears rolling down his cheeks. He had been afraid that Spencer would throw him out for his scars, but he had never once considered that the other man could accept and still care for him.

“What do you say to some breakfast?” Spencer asked softly, and Corey chuckled before getting up to get his boots on.

“Is this a date?”

“Of course.”

\---

They stopped at a cafe close to Quantico, and Corey sat patiently while Reid brought over their breakfast. He returned from the counter with a pair of pastries and cookies.

“Well Doctor Reid, you certainly know how to please a man.” Corey grinned before taking a bite from a pastry.

“I only do this for very specific men.” Reid said with a wink, which elicited a small chuckle from Corey who continued to enjoy his breakfast.

“Well, I am certainly glad to be your man then.”

Corey couldn’t tell where his confidence came from. Maybe it was the euphoria of being called someone’s man, or just the casual flirting that was so much easier than it had ever been. But it felt _damn_ good. He could almost forget the start of the day, and it barely clinged to the back of his mind the more they sat and talked.

A phone cut through their conversation, and Corey sighed as he excused himself to answer.

“Hello?”

“Hi, uh, Mr. Dorian?”

“Speaking.” Corey answered, pulling the phone away to check the number.

“I’m calling about your inquiry regarding top surgery. It looks like we have an opening for you in a few months time with…”

Her voice faded from Corey as a grin broke out across his face. He was in, officially going to be able to be comfortable in his body. He was getting _top surgery_.

“...so if you could meet with us for a consultation in the next week or so?”

“Uh, of course! What day?”

The receptionist listed off a number of days, and he picked the weekend in the hopes that Hotch would let him take the time off, or be able to arrive later to whatever case they could have.

“We’ll see you then sir!”

“Thank you.”

He hung up the phone and laughed. It didn’t seem real, and as he rejoined his boyfriend he couldn’t contain his excitement.

“What was that?”

“I’m getting top surgery!” Corey whispered excitedly, and Reid’s face lit up.

“Congratulations!” His boyfriend seemed genuinely happy, and took his hand. “You get an extra treat for that.”

“Dr. Reid, you’re going to make me fat.”

Reid glanced worriedly at Corey, who shrugged and let him drag him up to the counter. He didn't have an issue with eating, he just had always been conscious about what he put in his body.

“Pick something.”

“Fine…uh, that one.” Corey gestured to one of the desserts in the case, more excited at the prospect of surgery than what his boyfriend spoiled him with.

With the item purchased, they sat back at their table and Reid held up his coffee with a smile.

“To Agent Dorian’s fresh start.”

Corey chuckled and tapped his own coffee against his boyfriend’s before continuing to eat his breakfast. As they were finishing and preparing to go to the office, Reid reached across and wiped some stray crumbs from his cheek.

“Much better,” he grinned while Corey rolled his eyes.

“You’re such a romantic.”

“Only with you.” Reid assured before helping him up and walking back to his car.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corey catches Emily and JJ, digs into their relationship, before making a shocking discovery at the next case briefing.

The next two months continued in such harmony. There were few nights that Corey didn’t spend with his boyfriend. They went on small dates whenever their schedules allowed and they flirted secretly on cases and kissed in bathrooms.

It was a rush, a high of sorts. But they also took the time to have serious conversations. Reid opened up about his history with drugs, his childhood with his mother after his father abandoned him. He even talked about certain cases he remembered that he still flashbacked to.

Corey explained about his own history. Growing up fatherless was something they shared, but in his case his father had died. He told him more details about his past relationship, explaining why certain actions were incredibly triggering for him. He even talked about his childhood and how he felt detached from that part of himself.

They were incredibly close, and almost inseparable. But it was becoming harder and harder to hide their relationship from the team. Emily still pestered Corey for information on a daily basis, and Morgan teased Reid constantly.

So as they entered the office together, and could see the pair waiting for them Corey sighed before unlinking their hands and walking solo to his desk.

“Hey pretty boy, long night?” Morgan asked Reid as he sat at his own desk.

“As long as any other.” Reid responded as he began flipping through paperwork on his desk.

“My man.” Morgan chuckled before glancing over to Corey. He chose to ignore the other man by opening his computer and checking his email before turning to the others with his coffee.

“What’s up?”

Emily and Morgan were both looking at him questioningly, and he glanced down at what he was wearing before looking back to the pair.

“What?”

“That looks like one of Reid’s sweaters.” Emily chuckled before looking back at her desk.

“It is,” Corey said, and all three coworkers turned to look at him, “I borrowed it from him ages ago and never bothered to give it back.”

Morgan scoffed before going to his desk, while Emily nodded and sat at her computer. Reid smiled and winked at Corey when the others weren’t looking. They all set about doing their work, when Corey got up to go to the bathroom.

He walked out into the hall and waved to JJ who was sitting in her office. She waved back before turning back to a file, and Corey continued to the bathroom. As he finished and was walking back to the office, he glanced through JJ’s window and froze when he saw Emily standing with the blonde.

They were clearly having an argument, and Corey moved so he could still see what they were doing but they couldn’t see him. It wasn’t any argument about work, that was clear from the emotion behind both their faces.

A few stray tears lay across Emily’s cheeks, while JJ looked like she had seen a ghost. Then something happened that Corey didn’t expect at all. The blonde spun around and pressed her lips against Emily’s.

Corey gasped, covering his mouth and rushing back to his desk before either saw him. He sat down and let out a small chuckle before opening a new email and beginning to work.

\---

A few hours later, the image still hadn’t left his mind. He had known for a while how his friend felt about the other agent, but something about the whole scene he had witnessed reminded him of a lovers quarrel. So how long had they been a thing?

“I’m going for lunch, anybody coming?” Emily asked as she stood from her desk.

“Yeah!” Corey almost jumped to his feet, and Reid gave him a questioning look.

“Reid? Morgan?”

“I’ll go later.” Morgan said, waving them off.

“I’ll be there soon.” Reid smiled and Corey nodded before walking with Emily to the elevator.

They were silent, until the elevator doors closed and Corey almost snapped with the tension filling the small space.

“So how long have you and JJ been together?”

Emily looked at Corey with some fear behind her eyes, her mouth open slightly as she tried to form a response that didn’t seem to exist.

“We’re not together,” she said firmly.

“Oh, is that what the fight was about?”

“Look,” Emily turned to step in front of Corey, “it’s not your business.”

“Neither is my relationship with Reid, but you still pry everyday.”

“So there is a relationship?”

Corey scoffed, pushing past the woman as the elevator dinged and the doors opened.

“Not that it matters, but yes. But that’s not what we’re talking about here. What is going on between you and JJ?”

Emily groaned as she sat with him at a table by a window. They both pulled out their respective meals, and continued to talk as they ate.

“Look, it’s really nothing. She doesn’t want to be with me, it’s that simple.”

“But _she_ kissed you.” Corey muttered pointedly.

Emily groaned as she put her head in her hands and rubbed at her eyes.

“She wants me…but as a fling. An exciting distraction. She won’t leave Will, and she doesn’t want Henry to go through a divorce.”

Corey nodded, pausing to eat a bite of his sandwich and thinking over his response as he chewed.

“How long has the fling been going?”

“Years…” Emily finally said, and Corey let out a small chuckle before glancing up to see if Reid was nearby. He wasn’t, so Corey leaned in closer to Emily to grasp her free hand in his.

“You need to find someone else Emily…the longer this goes on the more it will hurt.”

Spencer appeared next to them, and Corey released her hand and sat back.

“Hey…”

“Hi, come sit.” Corey smiled while Emily continued to eat.

Reid sat with them and glanced from Corey to Emily, then back to Corey.

“I told her…” 

“What?”

“I’m not going to tell anyone!” Emily explained, and Spencer relaxed slightly.

They sat together and continued to talk, but the topic of Emily’s relationship didn’t come up again. However, the woman did dive into the couple and begged for details on their little exploits.

“You’re adorable.” she muttered as they all got up to head back to the office.

Spencer shrugged, pecking Corey on the cheek before walking to call the elevator.

“He’s great,” Corey sighed.

“I can tell.”

“You’ll find someone. What about Penelope? You two flirt all the time!”

Emily laughed as they joined Reid and got into the elevator.

“I don’t know how Morgan would take that.”

Corey shrugged, grinning as they rode up and he clasped Reid’s hand in his. They exited the elevator together, and as they walked into the office Hotch waved to them and they sighed. Dropping their bags at their desks, they all walked up and joined the rest of the team in the conference room.

“Sorry to pull you in so quickly, but this case is urgent.”

Garcia pressed a button on her remote and pictures appeared on the screen behind her. Corey watched them all and froze when he looked them over.

“So we have six women missing in California-”

“Six? And we’re just getting called in now?” Morgan asked.

“Yeah, because the police couldn’t figure out that they were connected until now. None of these women have been recovered, they’re all still considered missing.”

“Five of them are.” Corey finally spoke.

“What?” The rest of the team turned to look at him.

“Five missings, that second photo…is me.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corey continues to freak out as they head close to his hometown, and the team tries to comfort him as best they can.
> 
> Mentions of abusive ex but no details in this chapter.

On the plane, Corey was anxious. Why was he reported missing? And by whom? He could only assume who had done this, but that made him even more upset. He didn’t want to speak to his mother, let alone Jacob.

“...Dorian?”

His head snapped up to see Hotch looking at him from across the plane, and he hurried to sit with the team.

“Uh, sorry. Yeah?”

“I want you to come with me to the local police. We need to get this cleared up so we can focus on the case.”

“Yes sir.” Corey mumbled, flipping through his file.

“You know the local area?”

“Decently well.”

“Good, that could help us with a suspect list.”

Corey nodded before closing his file and listening to the team discuss details about the case. His mind was lost to the fear, and when they had finished discussing, Reid took him aside and pulled him to the back of the plane.

“Hey, you alright?”

“Spence...he’ll be there. I know he will.”

“You won’t be alone, Hotch will be with you.”

“It doesn’t matter. If he knows I’m in town I’m in danger.” Corey muttered, and Reid pulled him into a tight hug and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head.

“Stay strong for me Corey.”

He nodded, exhaling slowly before letting go of Reid and making his way back to the group.

\---

Hotch walked into the local police department, JJ and Corey hot on his heels. He shook hands with the detective who had called them in before immediately sending JJ off on one task and staying with Corey and the detective.

“Can we speak with you privately?”

The detective nodded and led them to his office, where they entered and Hotch immediately locked the door.

“Sir I need you to remove Dee Dorian from the abduction list.”

“What? Are you kidding? Her mother is the most on my ass about all of this. Says Dee left for Virginia, called and said she was going to New York. Boyfriend showed up in New York and couldn’t find her.”

“Detective, I’m Dee Dorian.” Corey finally spoke, and the detective froze. “The man you spoke to is not my boyfriend, and I told him I was going to New York to protect myself.”

The detective paused before nodding and picking up his phone to ask for the missing persons report.

“You should speak with your mother, just so she knows you’re alive.”

“Thank you sir.” Hotch said before escorting Corey out of the room. “Why would you lie to your family about where you were?”

“Hotch…Jacob is my ex-boyfriend. He is a narcissistic abuser who has been trying to find me ever since I left. If he knows I am here, he _will_ hurt me.”

"And you didn't think as your unit chief that I should have known about this prior? The team should be aware, in order to protect you."

"Hotch...I didn't want you to think any less of me because of my experiences."

"If it poses an active threat to you, I should know."

"No, it's fine. I'm just paranoid." Corey lied, not wanting to add more pressure to the older man. "There's no way he'll be able to find me if I'm here in the station."

The unit chief nodded once before walking to the room where JJ was setting up the boards and files.

“Dorian, you’ll run point from here. I don’t want you out in the field unless absolutely necessary. I’ll be sure another agent is here with you, but I cannot have this getting in the way of our investigation.”

“I understand sir.”

“Good. JJ, stay with him for now.”

She nodded before turning back to setting up the boards, and Corey quickly helped her. Thankfully, his old photo remained off of the boards. He began to map out locations of where victims were taken from and the timing in the hopes of building some form of geographical profile.

“You want to talk about it?” JJ asked as she continued to sort through files and new information to help them.

“Not really,” Corey said, cutting her off.

“Okay, just…we’re all here for you.”

Corey nodded, smiling at her before turning back to the work he was doing. He just wanted to solve this case and get it over with _now_.

The rest of the team returned shortly after Corey got started on his work, and Reid walked over to stand next to him.

“You doing okay?”

“No, not at all.” Corey whispered, and his boyfriend gently took his hand and squeezed it for a moment.

“I’m here.”

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is kind of short, it's just set up for what's to come.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the team wraps up the case, they still have to stay in town overnight. Unfortunately, this is a mistake only Corey saw coming.
> 
> TW: mentions of rape, ppl are drunk, angsty fighting, kidnapping, traumatic memories, a lot of cussing in the fight
> 
> (Thank you to @harrietamidala for pointing out how the original didn't fit the characters or the story progression thus far. This is the edited version of what was posted previously)

It was a nerve-wracking two days to solve the case, but thankfully Corey was now in the back of an SUV on his way to help make an arrest. He circled around the house, no lights were on.

“We’re going in.” he whispered into his mic, before pushing through the front door and turning to the door on his right.

“Clear.” he muttered, moving forward into the house.

A shadow moved against the opposing wall, and he pointed his gun before moving forward.

“Kellen Oak, FBI! Put your hands up where I can see them.”

The man stopped, raising his hands and turning to smile at Corey.

“You’ll never find the girls.”

“We already did.” Corey growled as he pulled the man’s hands behind his back and cuffed his wrists together. He led him outside to the waiting police car, past a slew of news crews that were waiting behind a barricade up the street.

They shouted to Corey and to the unsub, cameras flashed and if he glanced over at them he could see reporters speaking live to their viewing audience.

“I’ll talk to them.” JJ muttered, before making her way to the waiting cameras. The rest of the team arrived a minute later.

“You got the girls?”

“Yeah, they’re at the hospital now.” Rossi said before patting him on the shoulder. “Good work today kid.”

“Thanks.” Corey said, tugging the velcro straps on his shoulders free and climbing into the back of one of the SUVs.

Eventually, the team packed up from the crime scene and made their way back to the police station. Together, they took down the evidence boards and packed everything away for the local police.

“Everyone, there was an issue with the jet, so we’ll be staying overnight.” Hotch announced to the team, and everyone nodded before turning back to their light conversation.

“Who’s down for a night out?” Emily suggested, and everyone agreed eventually. But Corey felt a twist in his stomach, something wasn’t right.

\---

At the bar, Corey refused to drink. He watched his teammates take shots and laugh. But he couldn’t shake this feeling of discomfort. What was worse was that he was alone.

Morgan had taken Reid aside and was daring him to do shots. The rest of the team slowly joined them, and Corey sighed to himself. He walked over to the group and tapped Hotch on the shoulder.

“I’m just going back to the hotel.”

Hotch nodded, waving him off with a grin that was rarely present on the unit chief’s face. Corey walked up the street to where the hotel was, the cool night air a rarity in California.

When he got back to the hotel, he walked into Reid’s room, deciding he would wait to talk with his boyfriend whenever he got back. In the meanwhile, he went on his phone and looked through the news coverage of the arrest.

His heart stopped when he looked at the photographs in the news stories. His face was much clearer than the unsub’s, and the fear settled in his stomach again. He shut his phone off and tossed it on the nightstand.

Moving to the bathroom, he took a quick shower and got changed into some comfort clothes. He put his binder back on, vowing to remove it once he was actually going to bed. Instead he turned a light on and opened the book Spencer had recently gotten for him.

An hour later, the room door was thrown open. Corey jumped back, shutting the book and looking to the door. Reid stood there, slightly disheveled. Corey stood up, walking to his boyfriend and guiding him into the room.

“Corey…where’d you go?” Spencer slurred as Corey shut the door behind them and guided his boyfriend to the bed.

“Here dumbass. I just didn’t feel like-”

"Like what? Relaxing?" Reid muttered, and Corey rolled his eyes.

"You know how I feel about drinking and getting drunk. A few drinks is okay, but blacking out and getting wasted just isn't for me. I just wanted to read for a while."

Spencer let out a sigh, leaning back in bed and opening his arms for Corey to cuddle in. But the other boy refused, opening his book again and relaxing into the pillow.

"You don't even want to touch me?" Reid asked, anger seeping into his voice.

"No, your breath smells like alcohol."

Spencer pulled his arm back, sitting up and facing Corey.

"What is your problem?"

"My problem?" Corey asked, slamming his book shut and staring at Reid. "What, I don't like drinking because my ex-boyfriend used to get drunk and rape me? Or would get _me_ drunk and then rape me? And I thought it was normal, I played along. So forgive me if I don't drink. I can't stop you from drinking, but I just want to stay sober tonight."

Tears pricked at his eyes, but he wiped them away. Spencer didn't seem convinced, his mind clearly working a bit slower due to the alcohol. But he opened his mouth to respond anyways.

"It was the past. I'm not that asshole, you can trust me." Corey let a few tears fall, trying to hide his face from the genius who didn't even reach out to wipe them away. "Besides, it's not like you'd sleep with me anyways."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Corey snapped, knowing where this argument was going.

"You've never once talked about sex, every time I get close to trying with you it's like something forces you to stop. I can see you want it but you push me away, hell you left my apartment last time. I want to help you, but I need some help too!"

"Sex is help?"

"It can be."

"Why? You wouldn't find me attractive anyway." Corey muttered, and Spencer blinked in confusion, "I don't have a dick remember? Or are you not gay, and you're actually after my cunt?"

"I don't care what you have, I'd still fuck you." Spencer fired back, and Corey nearly laughed to try and hide the hurt.

"We both know that's not true. To you maybe it doesn't matter, but it sure does for me! Do you know how dysphoric I'd get if we slept together? I would probably spiral into a hole I couldn't get out of for weeks. You and I both know it's not worth it to go through with that. Look, I'm not normal, I'm not some normal guy who's looking to hook up and sleep around all the time. I want to get to know you, read and go on dates. I need an emotional bond and connection that I know I can trust before I have sex with you?"

"So you don't trust me?" Spencer growled, moving his face closer to Corey's. The smell of alcohol still clung to him, and Corey tried to not let the scent trigger unhappy memories.

"I do trust you, but I can't do this right now. Maybe in a few months when I've properly settled, and I'm not in the town my fucking ex is in. I have felt threatened and scared this entire time, and I'm not going to be okay. Despite what you hope, despite what I want, being in this town I will not be okay. So yeah, you coming back here drunk and horny is not the best mix for me right now."

"Then don't stay here if you're so uncomfortable." Reid grumbled, clearly thinking Corey wouldn't take him up on it.

“Find me in the morning, when you’re sober.” he spat out as he walked out, slamming the door and marching down the hall to his own room.

He closed the door behind him, placed his phone on the TV stand and exhaled slowly. Tears slowly poured from his eyes, but he wiped them away furiously.

“Awe...trouble in paradise?”

Corey froze at the voice, his body trembling in fear before a hand covered his mouth and another wrapped around his waist.

“Hello Dee.” Jacob whispered in his ear, the same smell of alcohol that he had smelled on Spencer spread from Jacob's breath. Corey struggled, fought, kicked and punched at the man. But he couldn’t reach him, and he felt the cool click of handcuffs against his wrists. “It’s really lucky that all you FBI folks just have these. They’re nice quality.”

"How did you-"

"The news made you look real pretty babe. And the receptionist knows me, gave me your room key thinking I was coming to spend a little time with my girlfriend. Well...I am, just not here."

Corey continued to fight as Jacob dragged him to the door, then his hand came off his mouth. As he was about to scream, a fist collided with his head and the world went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's going to get much darker from here, please check the warnings for the next couple of chapters. If you're uncomfortable with anything in the warnings, please don't read them unless you absolutely want to. The last thing I want is to trigger anyone who wasn't expecting something.
> 
> Also please leave feedback in the comments, good and bad are welcome. If you feel something is out of place or doesn't work, let me know because I may not notice how out of the blue a plot thread may appear. I appreciate all your support thus far :)


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacob takes his "revenge" out on Corey for leaving him, and we see just how bad he can truly be.
> 
> TW: *PLEASE READ* abuse, rape, non-consensual filming, manipulation, degrading terms (not in the nice way), basically torture
> 
> If any of this is too much for you, please wait until the next chapter. It will be less graphic and be told through the team's perspective.

Corey woke up in a cold sweat. His left hand was cuffed to a metal bed frame, and he tugged on it a few times before deciding to give up. He would need his strength later to deal with Jacob.

“Good morning sleepy head.” Jacob’s voice echoed behind him, and Corey bit his lip as he refused to turn his head.

“What the fuck do you want Jacob?”

“Baby girl…didn’t you miss me?” His voice made Corey’s skin crawl, and he moved to stand within the smaller man’s line of sight. “I’ve missed you.”

He set about moving the furniture in front of the bed Corey was on. Meanwhile, Corey tried to look around the room and spot anything that could point to where he was. But the walls were concrete, the door nondescript. He had no idea what this place was.

Jacob tugged something out of his pocket, and Corey recognized it as his cellphone. He curled his legs into his chest as Jacob sat on the bed and handed the phone to him.

“Call your friends, tell them where you are.”

He hit the redial button, then handed the phone to Corey. He struggled to remember who he had last called. But when the voicemail message came on he held back tears desperately.

“You’ve reached Penelope Garcia…”

The message continued and Corey shook as he took the phone and held it close to his mouth.

“...leave it at the beep.” A tone echoed out and Corey opened his mouth.

“Penelope? It’s, uh, Corey. Look it’s no one’s fault, I want you all to know that. Um, he found me. I don’t know where I am, I don’t know how long it’s been. But I know you’ll find me, you all will. Tell Spence not to blame himself, Emily and Derek I know you’ll take care of him. JJ, Rossi...Hotch…” his voice cracked as he thought of his team members, but he pushed himself to continue, “I love all of you. Please hurry…please.”

Jacob shifted closer to him and pulled the phone away.

“Well isn’t that touching? But I think that’s enough of that.”

He hung up the phone, then threw it at the floor. Corey gasped as he watched it shatter, and Jacob began to stomp on it until it was nothing more than tiny pieces scattered across the room.

“Oh look at that Dee…you made a mess.”

Jacob uncuffed him, before throwing him to the floor. Corey gasped in pain as small shards of glass cut into his palms.

“Clean it!” Jacob screamed, before throwing a broom at Corey. He caught it, wincing as the impact pushed the glass in further into his skin. He quickly swept the broken shards into a corner, making a small pile of what was once his phone.

When he was done, he moved back to the bed, as there was no other furniture in the room. Jacob returned a minute later, and sat next to him once more.

“Awe I’m sorry sweetheart. Let me see your hands.”

Emotionlessly, Corey held out his hands. He refused to look at Jacob, instead looking at the pile of wreckage in the corner. Pain shot through his hands, but he barely flinched as Jacob pulled the glass free. Once he was done, he wrapped each hand in a bandage and smiled before pecking Corey on the cheek.

Corey resisted the urge to vomit.

“Now then,” Jacob rose and walked to the door, “I have something special planned for you and your _team_.”

He opened the door and brought in a camera set on a tripod. Corey recognized the camera, Jacob had filmed several videos of them together on it. Many had been used as blackmail on more than one occasion.

The other man reached under the bed and produced a laptop and wooden box that he rested the machine on. He opened the laptop and looked up at Corey with a wicked grin.

“You’re gonna love this.”

He turned the screen so Corey could see that it was opened to a livestream page. Jacob laughed as the horror set in for Corey, and he immediately shoved the computer away from him.

“Don’t worry, it’s not live yet. I want to film something first. A little taste for them.”

He turned the camera on and stalked towards Corey, who backed off the bed and towards the door. Jacob rushed at him as he grabbed the door handle and desperately tried to turn it.

“It locks on the outside silly.” Jacob teased as Corey struggled in his grip. He picked him up and carried him to the bed. “Smile for your friends.”

“Who...who are you working with?” Corey spat out, but Jacob just laughed as he threw him on the mattress.

“Now, are you still pretending to be a boy? When we all know what you really are?” Jacob asked as he grabbed Corey’s shirt and ripped it from his body. Corey’s arms immediately wrapped around his binder, desperate to protect himself.

“No...stop...please!”

“Shut up!”

A slap echoed through the room, and Corey fell onto the mattress. His cheek stung from the hit, but then something cool slid up his back and he heard a quiet snipping sound. The blade of the scissors crawled up his back and cut the binder free from him. Jacob ripped it away and grabbed Corey’s hair, tugging him and making him cry out in pain.

“Look at you! A little whore who pretends for everyone, but you still have great tits. You shouldn’t hide them so often.”

Corey struggled against Jacob’s tight grip, until he held the scissors to his chest.

“Jacob! Please...don’t…”

“Oh sweetheart, I have to. Now, if you don’t want to die at this second you’ll stop struggling.”

Corey stopped his movements, and Jacob pressed his head down into the mattress. He couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down his cheeks as he felt Jacob rest the scissors next to him and pull down Corey’s track pants.

“I missed you sweetheart. I’m sure you’ve missed me.”

“No…no…”

“Yeah, I know you have.” Jacob laughed before moving to shuffle with his own pants.

“Stop! Please Jacob, I-”

He got cut off as Jacob rammed into him and his words turned into screams and pleas to stop. The pain was excruciating, and tears rolled down his face as the other man used him. Corey tried to fight and complain, but the pain mixed with his dehydrated and weakened state simply slowed his movements, and he passed out as Jacob continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, next chapter is a bonus chapter to see how Spencer and the team react when they find out what has happened.


	27. Bonus 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer wakes up and realizes Corey is missing, and the team gets to work on finding him.
> 
> TW: mentions of abuse and rape, brief description of the start of the scene from last chapter, but no exact details.

Reid woke up with a splitting headache and an empty bed. He was confused to say the least. He couldn’t remember much of the night before, only that Morgan had dared him to a drinking contest, then coming back to the room and seeing Corey.

_Corey._

He sat up, pain shooting to his head as he looked around and saw his boyfriend’s book on the nightstand, but no other signs of him. He got up and showered, changing into better clothes and taking some pain medication to help with his hangover. Slowly his head cleared, and more memories from the previous night came back to him. 

_Corey helped him to bed, and then the fighting started…_

“Shit.” Reid muttered as he gathered up all his things and shoved them into his bag. Once he had packed, he rushed over to Corey’s room and knocked on the door. No answer. He tried again, twisting the door handle a few times but to no avail.

Maybe Corey was already waiting with the team. So he raced downstairs to the lobby, his heart sinking when he saw everyone _but_ his boyfriend.

“Hey, do you know where Corey is?” JJ asked as she glanced at her phone.

“No...why?”

“He’s not answering his phone, and I couldn’t hear it in his room.”

Fear was already settling in Reid’s stomach, but he tried to push it down.

“Maybe he’s out for a morning run? He does those sometimes to clear his head.”

JJ nodded, and Reid sat next to Morgan.

“Everything okay pretty boy?”

“I don’t know.” he muttered, opening his phone and checking for any missed messages.

Suddenly, Hotch’s phone started ringing. He excused himself from the group, but quickly returned to them.

“Garcia you’re on speaker.”

“Oh my god, oh my...uh, sorry. Um, I just got into the office and there was a voicemail on my phone...and uh-”

“Hey, baby girl,” Morgan cut in, “take a deep breath. What’s wrong?”

“Someone has Corey.”

Reid’s heart skipped a beat, and not in the nice way. In the way where stress makes you feel like your heart stopped because you can’t cope.

“What?” Emily moved closer to ensure she had heard the technical analyst properly.

“Yeah, and my number was the last call on his phone, so I’m assuming whoever has him just hit redial. Uh, and they let him talk for a bit.”

“Hold off on playing it until we get to the police station.” Hotch instructed before hanging up the phone. “Alright, Reid, Rossi and myself will go to the station and set up. The rest of you check his room. There might be more evidence there. We aren’t leaving until we have him back safely.”

The team nodded and immediately split up to do their tasks, and more guilt consumed Reid as he followed Hotch and Rossi to the car.

\---

After explaining the situation to the police captain, he let them have their room back. Reid immediately got the team laptop set up and called Garcia.

“Tell me you have something.”

“Reid, I’m trying. Whoever has him destroyed the phone, I can’t find it anywhere.”

Hotch and Rossi came in and stood with Reid.

“Play the message Garcia.”

She nodded and pushed something off screen, but Corey’s voice echoed out of the laptop.

“Penelope? It’s, uh, Corey. Look it’s no one’s fault, I want you all to know that. Um, he found me. I don’t know where I am, I don’t know how long it’s been. But I know you’ll find me, you all will. Tell Spence not to blame himself…” Reid stepped away, exhaling slowly as he tried to process everything. He let this happen. He shouldn’t have agreed to get drunk last night, he knew Corey’s history.

“Well isn’t that touching? But I think that’s enough of that.”

Reid’s attention snapped back to the recording, not recognizing the voice on the other end. But his instincts told him who it was.

“Jacob…”

“Reid, you know who has him?”

“His ex-boyfriend, Jacob. He told me a little about him, apparently an abusive narcissist with a drinking problem.”

Rossi nodded, and the rest of the team entered the department with a bag.

“He just took Corey, nothing else. All his stuff was packed, and the hotel room was locked.” Morgan said as he put the bag on the table.

“Of course he did, this is personal.” Reid said as he grabbed the bag and began searching through it.

“Oh god...is it-”

“Yeah.” Reid cut Emily off, and Hotch looked between the pair.

“You both have knowledge of him?”

“Only what Corey told us. His first name is Jacob, they were together for 4 years prior to Corey leaving to come to Virginia. The last interaction they had, Corey rejected Jacob’s proposal at his birthday dinner.” Emily listed off, and Reid was shocked to hear the last part. He thought only Corey trusted him with that knowledge, but he also knew that Corey and Emily were close friends.

“Right, Garcia get everything you can on anyone local named Jacob. Rossi and JJ go to the bar and see if they’ve heard from him recently. Everyone else stay here and let’s get everything we know about Corey up on these boards. Reid I need to speak with you."

He followed Hotch into a separate room, where the unit chief turned to face him and he felt a lecture coming on.

"If you had knowledge that there was a potential risk to Corey coming here, why didn't you tell me? You and Emily both had knowledge that there was danger, but you kept it to yourself."

"Corey didn't want to say-"

"That doesn't matter, because now he's gone." Hotch said firmly, and the guilt made Reid tear up. He had tried to not think about how it was his fault, but it was evident that the fight they had sent Corey to his room, where Jacob had been waiting.

"I know..."

"If a team member's life is at risk, or they come from a past of abuse, I need to know."

"It won't happen again." Reid rasped out, his throat constricting with tears.

"Let's find Corey, I'll talk with all three of you later."

\---

The team continued to work away at trying to find Jacob. Reid was nearly pulling his hair out in frustration, and Emily sat with him and helped him go over everything they had already.

That was until a police officer came in holding something out to them.

“Some kid showed up with it, said someone paid him to deliver it to the FBI.”

Reid grabbed it from the man and hurried to the laptop. It was a flashdrive, and he plugged it into the side of the laptop waiting patiently.

“Garcia you got this?”

“Yep, give me one minute.”

The rest of the team gathered around the computer as Garcia scanned the flashdrive from her computers at Quantico.

“Looks safe, I’ll open it now,” she muttered as her fingers typed rapidly, “it looks like a video file.”

A video popped up on their screen and everyone’s eyes widened at the scene. Corey was being thrown onto a bed in front of the camera, his clothes torn and cut off from his body.

“Oh my god!” Garcia turned around and tried to cover her ears as Corey’s screams rang out from the video. 

Morgan, Emily and JJ followed suit. Rossi and Hotch stayed stoic as the video continued. Reid desperately wanted to look away, but he knew he couldn’t. If he could spot just one thing to help them locate Corey, then he would find it. He’d watch the video over and over again until he found something.

“Is it done?” Garcia asked when the video concluded.

“Yes, but Garcia we need that broken down. Anything distinct on the walls, lighting, something to tell us where this guy has Corey.” Rossi instructed, and Garcia looked like she might cry.

“Yes, sir.”

“I’ll help from here Garcia.” Reid said, his voice raspy as he tried to hold back his tears. “Let’s find this asshole.”

Rossi nodded and turned to the rest of the team who were composing themselves as best they could.

“You heard the kid, let’s do it.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corey tries to communicate with the team, and Jacob has more plans for him.
> 
> TW: threats of sexual assault, torture with a knife, cutting and blood, mentions of self-harm, dissociation
> 
> I'm doing the same thing I did with the last two chapters, so if this is too much, the softer chapter from Spencer's perspective will come next.

Corey’s head was spinning. He assumed it was the dehydration. He groaned slightly as he tried to sit up, but he was once again handcuffed to the bed. The door opened, and Jacob entered with a smirk on his face.

“Oh, I forgot how good you were babe! Here,” he moved closer to Corey who tried to back away, “I got you water.”

He presented Corey a sealed, store-bought bottle of water. Corey snatched it from Jacob’s hand and twisted it open, chugging the water down.

“Thatta girl.” Jacob smiled and brushed a strand of hair from his face.

Corey flinched as his fingers touched skin, and tried to pull away once more as Jacob moved closer to his face.

“Fuck off.”

“That’s not nice language. Maybe I’ll let my friend out there come and have a turn with you too?” Corey shook his head and Jacob nodded. “Then use nice words. After all, you’ve got a show to put on.”

With those words he got up and walked over to the camera and laptop set up. His fingers typed quickly, and a red light appeared on the camera.

“Smile baby girl, your friends can see ya now.”

Corey struggled against the handcuff on his wrist while Jacob laughed. He walked back over and cupped Corey’s face, kissing his forehead. He struggled away from the taller man, who patted his cheek before leaving Corey alone with the camera.

He sighed, heaving a breath in before glancing down at himself. He was in one of Jacob’s sweatshirts, with lace panties that he hadn’t seen since before he left California. Shifting his weight forward, he got as close as possible to the camera.

“If you can hear me, I’m okay. I can take it. He’s-” Corey winced in pain as he tried to inhale, and paused to steady his breathing before continuing. “He’s not working alone. I don’t know who the partner is…ah!”

He screamed as the pain worsened, his whole body ached. Pain shot from his injured hands, his legs, hips. He hadn’t missed that part. Body pain had been a regular occurrence when he lived with Jacob, but he had grown out of it.

“Penelope, I know you can see me,” he gasped out, “tell…tell Spence it’s not his fault.”

He fell back against the sheets, panting for breath as he tried to once more adapt to the pain. He grabbed the water bottle, drinking some more before propping a pillow up behind his back and resting his head against the cool stone wall.

“It’s cool here...the stone is cold,” he rambled, trying to get information to the team.

Eventually, he just fell silent, gazing off into the nothingness. His eyes couldn't focus on anything, and he felt like he was floating through his thoughts. The world was empty, just him and the horror he couldn't escape. He was trapped, and there was nothing he could do. He shouldn’t have taken this case, he should have stayed at the bar, he should have stayed with Spencer last night.

God, Spencer…how badly he wanted to be wrapped in his boyfriend’s arms right now. It felt like ages since they had seen each other, maybe it had been. Corey didn’t know how long it had been since Jacob took him. Since he had now fallen unconscious twice, it could have been much longer than he thought.

“Spence…” he called out, hoping his imagination and foggy mind could make him feel better. “Spence…I don’t care who hears. I love you, and when this is all over I want you to hold me.”

Tears creeped out of the corners of his eyes, rolling down his cheeks and dripping onto the sheets. He wiped the tears away furiously, not wanting Jacob to have the pleasure of knowing he made him cry.

The door handle rattled, and Corey straightened himself and tried to erase all emotion from his face. Jacob strolled in with a chair in hand and put it next to the bed.

“Come sit.”

Corey obliged, knowing that refusal would result in further injury. As soon as he sat down, metal clicked against his free wrist, and he looked down to see that Jacob had cuffed his wrists to the arm rests.

The taller man shoved the bed aside, pulling the chair to the center of the room. He walked to the camera, ensuring Corey was in focus. Then he walked back around and stood to the side, where he pulled a knife from his pocket and grinned.

“So baby, did ya miss me?”

“No, you psychopath.”

Jacob sighed before moving over to tug Corey sleeves up. He looked from the knife to Corey’s scarred arms.

“Garcia! Look away now!”

“Oh…so sweet.” Jacob laughed before bringing the knife across Corey’s arms. 

While he had done it to himself many times, it hurt much more when Jacob did it. He tried to keep his arm relaxed, opting to clench his jaw tight to ignore the pain.

“Nothing? Not even a scream?” Jacob asked, looking from the camera back to Corey. “Maybe I have to cut you somewhere else. You're immune here at this point, too much time spent damaging yourself.”

He brought the knife across Corey’s inner thigh, which elicited a gasp from Corey. He struggled as Jacob pulled away, but the taller man simply moved to the other leg. This time, Corey wasn’t expecting it and did cry out in pain.

“Awe, does it hurt? Like how you hurt me? I helped you! I took you in, you broken and ungrateful slut!”

A bang on the door made Jacob stop, and he marched over to where it had creaked open.

“What?”

“Look man, don’t hurt her. You said you wanted to mess with her.”

“I am messing with her, it’s real fun. Wanna try?” Jacob grinned, twirling the knife in his hand.

“No man! Just…let’s finish this before the cops find us.”

Jacob scoffed, slamming the door in the other man's face and turning back to Corey.

“Now,” Jacob walked back to Corey and knelt in front of him, “let’s have fun babe.”


	29. Bonus 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer meets Corey's mother, and the team finds the livestream from Jacob's hideout.
> 
> TW: transphobia, purposeful misgendering and deadnaming, brief mention of the torture seen in the last chapter (again not as detailed)

“Reid, you and Morgan will go to see Corey’s mother. Find out anything you can on Jacob and who his partner might be.”

Hotch’s instructions still lingered in Reid’s head as they pulled up outside a small house. It didn’t look any different from the other houses in the neighbourhood, and Morgan sighed as they climbed out of the car.

“So, you and Dorian?”

“Yeah.” Reid muttered as he marched up to the front door and knocked. When no one answered, he pounded against the wood with his fist.

“Hey! Kid, calm down.”

“We don’t know if she’s complicit-”

The door opened, and an older woman peeked out at the pair.

“Salesmen? I’m not interested.”

“No, ma’am,” both men produced their badges as Morgan stepped forward to speak, “we’re with the FBI. Can we step inside for a talk?”

“Is this about Dee?” she asked, before opening the door and letting them in.

Reid and Morgan glanced around the house, taking in the space and trying to glean as much insight as possible in their time there. Photographs of Corey from his childhood (and before his transition) hung on the walls. A family photograph framed the wall next to the front door.

“Uh ma’am, we’re here to speak with you about your son. Agent Corey Dorian.”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous. My _daughter_ is an agent with you all, her name is Dee.”

“Not anymore,” Reid spoke up, “Corey had his name and gender marker legally changed. It is his name and how we will refer to him.”

The woman scoffed before turning her focus to Morgan.

“Do you believe this garbage?”

“Yes ma’am I do. I have worked with your son since he first joined the BAU, and he is a fine young man and an excellent agent. You should be proud of him.”

“Whatever, what’s this about?”

“Why did you file a missing persons’ report?” Reid asked, and the woman glared at him.

“Because, Dee called and said she was going to New York. A transfer of some sort. Her boyfriend went to see her, and the New York office said that she had never transferred there. I assumed she had been taken.”

Morgan sighed, and paused to consider how to proceed. Spencer chose to not ask any more questions for the time being.

“Corey _is_ missing, he was taken last night by a man named Jacob.”

“What?” Corey’s mother sat up tall, looking at both men questioningly. “No, Jacob wouldn’t hurt Dee at all. He loves her.”

“He abused her for four years.” Spencer choked out, and she glared at him once more.

“Nonsense-”

“Ma’am we have proof that he has Corey. May we look at Corey’s old room? It might help us understand their relationship better.”

“Whatever you want.” Corey’s mother waved her hand, and Morgan nodded to Reid before he went to look at the room.

Reid sat in silence with the woman for a minute before he decided to ask her another question or two. She clearly knew more than she was letting on, and he had no intention of letting her off the hook so easily.

“So, what was Corey like growing up?”

“Always a happy child, artistic. I was shocked when she said she wanted to become a police officer. I always pictured her a professional dancer.”

“What was Corey’s dad like?”

The woman paused, glancing at the family photograph on the wall.

“Oh, he was wonderful. Although he always wanted a son, I remember his disappointment when I brought Dee home.”

“Did he ever tell Corey that?” Reid asked, glancing to see if Morgan was done yet.

“Hmm? No, he spoiled her anyways. Loved her to pieces.”

Morgan emerged from the room, and they both thanked the woman before leaving and heading back to the car.

“Find anything?”

“Nothing from the four years, it’s like Jacob had total control of him.”

“He did.” Reid muttered, before answering his ringing phone. “Yeah Garcia?”

“You both need to get back here, fast.”

\---

They arrived at the station to see the rest of the team gathered around a screen. Spencer pushed forward, and Emily wrapped an arm around his shoulder for reassurance.

“So this link just got sent to the local police department. It’s a live broadcast from Jacob.”

Reid’s stomach dropped. Corey looked wrecked, and was clearly in a lot of pain. He was staring off camera, but his eyes weren’t focusing on one particular thing. Hotch sighed and turned to face the boards.

“We’re missing something. Who would Jacob work with?”

“Someone he could control, a lackey who follows his every order.” Rossi imputed.

“And he’d need an area he can control.” Emily chimed in.

“Garica,” Hotch turned back to the screen, “did Jacob or anyone in his family take out building permits. For a bunker or basement?”

“Oh you are good sir, give me a moment.”

The team continued to brainstorm, while Reid watched the broadcast closely.

“Spence…” Corey called out, and Reid’s heart ached at the sight. “Spence…I don’t care who hears. I love you, and when this is all over I want you to hold me.”

The team all looked over at Reid, who sniffled once before joining them in brainstorming.

“We searched Jacob’s house, it was empty. No basements, no other buildings or shelters on the property. Could he be holding Corey on the partner’s property?” Reid muttered, and Hotch nodded.

“Garcia?”

“I’m still looking for who the partner could be, but once we have an idea-”

“Cross-reference your building permit list with Jacob’s known associates.” Reid interjected.

“Genius boy strikes again. Okay, cross-referencing as we speak and…”

“Garcia! Look away now!” Corey called from the screen, and Garcia gasped as the others turned to see Jacob cut at Corey’s arms.

The whole team moved closer to the screen, their eyes fixated on their teammate.

“I got him!” Garcia called, her eyes staring at one screen and not the other.

“Text it to us, we’re on our way.” Hotch said sternly.

“Bring him home loves!”


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team rescues Corey, he and Spencer confess their love, and we find out all of Corey's injuries.

_It’s hopeless_.

The thought continued to swirl in Corey’s head as he sat cuffed to the chair. The wounds still trickled blood out and onto the floor. He hadn’t lost too much blood, but Jacob had gotten a few more good cuts in before the partner yelled something about people on the security cameras.

Some hope had filled Corey at that notion, but it had been a long while and no one had come to get him yet. The hopelessness and despair were creeping back in, and he wanted nothing more than to see any familiar face at this point.

He jumped when gunshots echoed from the hallway, and once again his hopes raised. He cleared his throat, hoping he could shout enough to catch their attention.

“In here! Please, help!”

Shadows passed at the crack under the door, and he heard feet shuffling outside. The door burst open, and Jacob tumbled in with his knife in hand.

“Your...bitchass team,” he coughed before stumbling forward, “shot my damn partner.”

“Good riddance.” Corey spat, and Jacob chuckled before charging at him with the knife.

“Jacob White! Drop the weapon.”

Corey nearly laughed when he heard Morgan’s voice from the door. Hotch followed him, both their guns trained on Jacob.

“You really don’t want to do that.”

“Oh yeah?” Jacob laughed, holding the knife to Corey’s throat. “Stop me then.”

“Put the knife down, and we can talk.”

“No…we all know this ends with someone dead,” Jacob said.

Hotch moved a step forward, eyes trained solely on Jacob.

“It doesn’t have to go that way. Drop the knife.”

“What...this knife?” Jacob gestured to the one in his hand. “Nah.”

And he lunged at Hotch. Without blinking, Hotch shot him in the forehead and he collapsed to the floor. Morgan rushed forward and reached into Jacob’s pocket to find the keys to the handcuffs.

“Hey, we got you. Don’t worry.”

Corey sobbed as he was released and collapsed into Morgan’s arms. Hotch exited the room to bring in other officers to help move Jacob’s body.

“Listen...medics can’t get down here so I’m going to carry you out. Reid and everyone else is waiting for you topside okay?”

He nodded, letting Morgan pick him up and carry him out into the hallway.

“I got you, don’t worry.”

Corey nodded, before leaning up to whisper in Morgan’s ear.

“I don’t want Spence to see me like this.”

“He doesn’t care how you look. He’s been tearing himself apart trying to find you. He needs to see you just as much as you need him.”

They climbed a set of narrow stairs, Corey assumed the reason the medics couldn’t get down. As soon as they exited into the dusk sunlight he was swarmed. A stretcher was brought over, and two paramedics were immediately checking his injuries and asking him questions.

“Where’s Spence?” he asked hoarsely.

They loaded him into the ambulance, and he looked out to see the whole team standing there.

“Thank you…” he whispered, before tears once again began rolling down his cheeks.

Reid climbed into the ambulance and Corey reached up to grasp his hand. His boyfriend took his hand, pressing soft kisses on his knuckles, noticing the bandages.

“We’ll see you at the hospital kids.” Rossi said with a smile, and the doors to the ambulance closed.

“You found me.” Corey smiled, and Reid nodded before kissing his hand again.

“Of course I did.”

“I...I love you Spence.”

Tears filled both their eyes as Spencer leaned forward and smiled.

“I love you too Corey.”

\---

When they arrived at the hospital, Reid was directed to wait while Corey had to undergo a series of tests by himself. He was still very dehydrated, and whenever the doctors tried to poke at him or check something he flinched away.

“Agent Dorian? I need you to stay still,” one doctor instructed.

Corey exhaled slowly, trying to calm himself as they got him ready for x-rays.

“When can I see Spencer?”

“We need to find out what’s wrong first, then you can have visitors.”

Corey nodded and tried to relax so they could finish the tests as soon as possible. He needed his team, his boyfriend.

Once he was back in his hospital bed, the nurse brought in his team members. Emily rushed over to hug him, and he held her as tight as he could.

“God, I was so scared for you,” she whispered.

“I’m alright now.”

They pulled away and JJ came over to hug him as well. Rossi and Hotch floated by the door while Spencer and Morgan both sat on either side of him.

“How’re you feeling kid?” Rossi asked, and Corey shrugged.

“Tired?”

The team chuckled, but their eyes still held a lot of worry. Everyone knew that this wouldn’t just go away. Corey now had a new load of trauma to try and comprehend, and it wasn’t going to be easy.

“Well, I called Strauss,” Hotch muttered, “and she gave us all the week off. We’ll stay until you’re cleared to travel. You have another week off after we get back.”

“Thank you.” Corey smiled, and Hotch managed a small smile before walking to stand next to him.

“Just no more surprises?”

Corey chuckled before nodding, and the rest of the team visibly relaxed. Spencer’s hand clasped Corey’s and he grinned at his boyfriend.

“So…were you ever going to tell us?” Rossi asked, gesturing at their hands.

“Uh…” Corey glanced at Reid, then Emily.

“Oh I see, the elders are too strict.” Rossi acted offended, before ruffling Spencer’s hair and kissing both of Corey’s cheeks. “Good to have you back kiddo.”

Morgan moved a bit closer, and Corey’s focus shifted to the other man. He seemed relieved, but there was a tension still surrounding him.

“You have no idea how grateful I am…to all of you.” Corey said, but mostly to Morgan. The other man nodded in response, before smiling and patting him on the shoulder.

A knock on the door made everyone turn to the door, where a doctor was standing with Corey’s medical chart.

“Can I have a minute alone with Agent Dorian?”

Everyone got up to leave, but Corey shook his head.

“They can stay, they need to know what’s wrong.”

The doctor sighed, before nodding reluctantly and moving to take Morgan’s place at his side.

“So nothing is broken, your cuts will likely require stitches. The worst injury is to your ribs. A few of them are bruised, which explains your difficulty breathing. There isn’t much we can do aside from giving you some medication and waiting for them to heal. But, um…” she paused to glance at her chart before looking at Corey seriously.

“Alright guys, let’s give him some space. They’ll tell us after.” Rossi guided everyone out, but Reid stayed holding Corey’s hand.

Once the room was clear, the doctor nodded to herself before continuing.

“Due to the bruised ribs, you will not be able to bind your chest until they are fully healed, and even after that we recommend you avoid binding for a while.”

Corey’s heart sank. He looked at Reid, who smiled sadly before pressing a kiss to his temple.

“Also…we found some tears and bruising in and around your genitals…” Corey tried to keep his composure as she finished speaking. “Those will heal in time as well, we just recommend that you are not sexually active.”

Reid thanked the doctor for him, before slowly pulling him into a hug. Corey fisted his hands in his boyfriend’s shirt, his breathing ragged as images of his assault flashed through his mind.

“Shhh,” Spencer gently rubbed circles into his back, “I’m here Corey. You’re safe.”

“Stay with me?”

“Of course,” he smiled, kissing Corey’s forehead. “I’ll be right here.”

\---

Later that night, the team had gone back to the hotel. Spencer was curled up into Corey's side, asleep next to him on the hospital bed. Corey was wide awake, a nightmare keeping him from trying to close his eyes and relax again.

They had sent a therapist in to speak with him, not that the man was very well educated on Corey's personal issues. They had made Spencer leave for that part, which only made it worse on Corey. But he got through talking with the man, and detailed what had happened so he could give it to the police without them having to come in and bother his recovery process. His breathing was still a bit laboured as he lay on the bed, looking up at the ceiling and trying to not think about the last two days.

Spencer stirred next to him, and Corey's gaze turned to the older man who slowly blinked his eyes open.

"Can't sleep?"

"No," Corey whispered, "nightmares won't let me."

"They could give you some medication." Spencer mumbled, but Corey shook his head.

"I'll have time for sleep later. Right now, I can't let him win. He knew he would die, he was trying to make sure he could terrorize me for the rest of my life. But I won't let him win."

His boyfriend nodded, before gently caressing his cheek and turning his face so they could look into each other's eyes.

"I'm so sorry..." he whispered, and Corey swallowed hard as he prepared to listen. "I should never have joined Morgan in the first place. I knew you had a past with abusive partners, especially surrounding alcohol. It's not that I doubt your feelings or trust in me, I just...I didn't realize the impact it could have on you. I didn't think of it from that perspective. I love you so much Corey, and I...I hated knowing that the last time you saw me before that monster took you, I clearly reminded you of him to begin with."

Corey nodded, his words caught in his throat as he tried to hold back tears. He opted to instead hug the other man, both of them shaking slightly in fear as they held onto each other like their lives depended on it.

"I...I accept your apology." Corey whispered, not knowing what else to say.

They lay together in the ambience of the hospital, the sounds of nurses talking outside and the beeping of monitors helping them both drift off to sleep once more, hoping for a better morning.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team gets to head home, and our lovely couple discusses a (potential) future together.

The clear for travel came a few days later, and soon the team was back on the jet to Virginia. Corey was bandaged and still in pain, but it was better than being in the hospital. He knew getting home was the safest option, and he owed a visit to Penelope after all the help and hell she went through to find him.

The whole team sat in the center of the plane, each member engrossed in a card game. A pile of different snacks lay with each person, and the pot in the middle held a significant assortment of everyone’s items.

Corey sat on Reid’s lap, while not exactly safe it was where he felt safest. When taking off and landing he sat in his own seat, but as soon as they were settled in the air, he moved to his boyfriend for comfort and reassurance.

He glanced down at his boyfriend’s hand of cards and tried to keep a good poker face. Reid was excellent at it, which everyone attributed to his childhood in Las Vegas.

“We’re going all in.” Reid said before pushing all of their goldfish to the pot.

The rest of the team groaned, before agreeing to the bet and showing their hands. Naturally, Reid proved victorious and Corey scooped all of the snacks over to where he and Reid were sitting.

“Of course you win, just trying to please your man.” Morgan teased before rubbing Spencer’s hair.

“I always win.” Reid muttered.

“Ah, not true.” Emily grinned and the genius rolled his eyes.

“It was one time! And a 97 to 1 chance at that!”

Corey giggled, kissing Reid on the cheek before eating a goldfish in triumph. His boyfriend adjusted how he was sitting before taking his own snack. The rest of the team, ignoring the results of the game, also ate and relaxed.

“So, did you mom come and see you in the hospital?” Morgan asked as he sat across from them, while Hotch and Rossi moved to sit across from them.

“No, why? You met her?”

Morgan and Reid both nodded, and Corey looked at his boyfriend in mock horror.

“I’m terribly sorry for both of you. That’s one person no one should be forced to experience.”

Emily laughed at his statement, and Corey remembered that she also didn’t have a stellar relationship with her mother. A politician if he recalled correctly.

“So how are you spending the rest of your time off?” JJ asked, grabbing a snack from the pile.

“Resting I assume, I want to heal as fast as possible.”

The team nodded in acknowledgement, and Corey rested his head on Reid’s shoulder. The familiar scent of his boyfriend’s cologne helped him relax, but as he did so he suddenly had a thought and almost shot back up.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked, concern brewing in his eyes.

“My check-in appointment with my top surgeon is supposed to be in two weeks! What if I’m not healed, and they make me go back on a waitlist?”

Reid pulled his head back down onto his shoulder, soothing him with calm words and reassurances.

“You’re getting top surgery?” Emily asked excitedly, and Corey nodded from the crook of Spencer’s neck. “That’s awesome! When?”

“In a few months…I have a few appointments with the doctor first.”

JJ smiled at him, while Morgan looked somewhat lost about the subject.

“Forgive my asking, but what is top surgery?”

Corey opened his mouth to explain, but his ever amazing genius of a boyfriend beat him to it.

“Male top surgery, or subcutaneous mastectomy, is a surgical procedure for transgender men to remove breast tissue. It’s actually really interesting how it’s performed.”

Morgan nodded in understanding, and Corey pressed a soft kiss to his boyfriend’s neck in thanks.

“Just make sure you get the appropriate amount of time off.” Hotch advised as the seatbelt light came on, indicating that they were preparing to land. “Congratulations Corey.”

Corey nodded, before climbing off of Reid’s lap and settling in the seat next to him.

\---

After a joyous reunion with Penelope - which had included a few too many tight hugs - Corey found himself in Reid’s car driving back to the other man’s apartment.

“Are you sure it’s okay that I stay here?”

“Of course babe.” Reid smiled, and Corey nodded to himself.

“I just...I can’t be alone right now.”

“You won’t be.”

They arrived at the apartment building, and Reid helped Corey out of the car and up into his apartment. Corey lay on the couch, listening to classical music that Spencer put on as he busied himself with organizing the apartment.

“You hungry?” Corey asked as Reid finally settled.

“Yeah, now that you mention it.”

Corey pulled out his phone, holding out to his boyfriend.

“Order something? I’m good with anything. After you pick what you want, you can call your mom?”

Reid nodded, kissing Corey once before deciding what to order. He finally decided on Indian food from his favourite place near the bureau, and when he handed the phone back to Corey he kissed him before getting up to make his nightly call.

Corey placed his own order for food before letting his phone fall onto his chest and closing his eyes. The soft melody of Beethoven’s _Moonlight Sonata_ lulling him into a state of relaxation.

Eventually his boyfriend joined him again on the couch, lifting Corey’s head into his lap and gently stroking his hair as they sat together. Reid turned on the TV for some background noise, and Corey snuggled into his chest.

“I think I’ll spend my second week of recovery with Garcia.” Corey mumbled.

“Why?”

“I…” Corey hesitated before continuing, “I’m scared to be home alone.”

Reid sighed, before nodding and pressing a light kiss to his forehead.

“What if I can do my work from home? We can sit here and do my work together, I’m sure Hotch won’t mind as long as I get all my work in. If we have to leave for a case then you can stay with Penelope.”

Corey eventually agreed to the arrangement, wrapping one of Spencer’s arms around him as he lay on the couch. In his lover’s embrace he felt safe, and the traumatic memories were forced to stay at bay.

Their food arrived, and as they sat eating together Corey couldn’t help but feel like this was the perfect domestic time they could have.

“You seem happy.”

“I am,” Corey smiled to Reid, “just thinking about how we could continue doing this.”

“I’ve been thinking about that too.” Reid mused, turning down the volume on the TV to shuffle closer to Corey and put both of their meals on the coffee table. “I know how hard it is to recover from something like this, and I don’t want you to be alone. So, what do you think of moving in?”

“Here?” Corey squeaked, which drew a laugh out of Reid. “Shut up! I’m serious.”

“Do you not want to?”

“I didn’t say that.” Corey paused, trying to decide what he wanted to say. “If we’re moving in together, I just think we should consider where we should live. I own a house, probably twice the size of this apartment. It’s closer to Quantico, and we could…”

He trailed off, not wanting to scare his boyfriend off with the thoughts that had been swimming through his head.

“We could?” Reid pressed.

“...start a home.” Corey whispered. “Nothing serious! Like I don’t know your feelings on it but I personally don’t want kids. But like a cat or something, having a reading nook where we sit together on rainy days off. Turning my spare room into a library with everything we’ve both collected.”

Spencer pondered this, leaning back into the couch. Corey bit his lip, feeling like he had overstepped a boundary he was unaware of. The longer the silence dragged on, the more he wanted to leave.

“Nevermind, forget I said anything…”

“Huh?” Reid switched his attention from the ceiling back to Corey. “No! I was just thinking of the logistics. Moving everything out of here would be a nice task for the next two weeks.”

Corey blinked, wanting to make sure he heard his boyfriend correctly.

“I didn’t mean like...tonight. Just over time. If we can stop at my house tomorrow, I’ll pack a suitcase and stay here for the week. I’d prefer it honestly.”

Spencer nodded, kissing his forehead before wrapping an arm around Corey and tugging him closer to him.

“Sounds good. Let’s work towards that library then.”

“One day at a time.” Corey said with a smile, and received a kiss in return.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corey continues to recover, but a mandatory therapy appointment sends him into a slight spiral. Spencer treats him after though.

Packing up all of Reid’s things did prove to be an interesting change of pace. Corey and his boyfriend both spent days organizing and sorting all of the other man’s works into assigned boxes. They had agreed they would move his smaller items into the house first, and then make decisions on which furniture they would keep and what would be sold.

Corey could only do so much before his bruised ribs forced him to sit and take deep breaths. Spencer stayed with him the whole time they were home together, only leaving once to get groceries. He left and came back in the time that Corey had taken a nap, so the younger man didn’t even notice his absence until he saw the groceries in the refrigerator when he got a snack.

Most of the time, he sat on the couch labelling boxes and ensuring everything inside was packed tightly so nothing would break when it came time to move them. It was a calming week, with Spencer by his side and ensuring his safety at all times.

But at the end of the week, the dread set back in as he had to attend a therapy appointment. Reid had arranged it for him as soon as they got back to Virginia, and it was with his usual therapist who knew his history.

The biggest concern he had was that Spencer wouldn’t be coming with him. He knew he couldn’t continue to rely on the other man, it wasn’t healthy for either of them. But as the appointment drew closer, his stress levels began to rise. The night before the appointment, he woke up screaming and drenched in sweat from his nightmares.

Spencer had woken up with him, and took him to have a bath to clean the sweat off. Corey struggled to cover his chest, letting his boyfriend sponge him down with the warm water. No words were shared between them, and when it was over Spencer helped him to his feet, towelled him dry and carried him back to bed.

They woke up in the morning and Corey silently dressed himself, sitting quietly on the couch as Spencer moved around him. His mind drifted off, not being able to focus on anything. The stress was overwhelming, to the point that he felt like he could snap.

“Corey?”

He blinked, looking up at Spencer who was standing over him with a sad smile.

“Yeah?”

“It’s time to go.”

Corey bit his lip, but nodded and let his boyfriend help him to his feet. They made their way to Spencer’s car, and the drive to the therapist seemed both shorter than usual, but also longer.

“Baby boy,” Corey gazed at his boyfriend, the pet name helping him ground himself, “I’ll be right out here. As soon as you’re done, we can go get some coffee and treats okay?”

He nodded, smiled, and kissed Spencer once before getting out of the car and making his way inside the office. He waited at the reception desk, the secretary smiling at him and calling to inform his therapist that he had arrived.

“Go right up.” she said, and Corey thanked her before walking to the familiar office.

He knocked on the door, waiting to hear a voice on the other side.

“Come in.”

His therapist sat waiting, a notepad and pencil on her lap as she gestured to the seat across from her.

“Corey, good to see you.”

“You too.” he nodded as he sat and prepared for the session.

“From what I’ve received, it’s been an eventful time since we last saw each other.”

“You could say that.” Corey muttered, not enjoying how casual she was being.

“Where would you like to start?”

\---

Leaving therapy, Corey couldn’t deny that he felt better. His therapist had listened to every part, guided him through the most difficult memories, and helped him come out on the other side. She scheduled another appointment for him and gave him new coping techniques until they could meet again and go into a much deeper discussion.

Spencer was reading in the car, his finger following line after line as his brain processed the words much faster than Corey ever could.

He opened the car door, causing Reid to jump slightly as he closed the book and grinned at him. Corey smiled in return before pulling on his seatbelt.

“It went okay then?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry I was so stressed about it.”

“It’s okay,” Spencer smiled as he ran his thumb over Corey’s knuckles a few times before turning the car on, “I’m proud of you.”

Corey relaxed, letting his boyfriend drive him to wherever they were going to get breakfast. It didn’t matter that it was close to noon, Spencer knew that Corey wanted breakfast foods.

They pulled up at a McDonald’s and Corey cheered, hugging Reid’ arm as they pulled into a parking spot. Climbing out, Corey clung to his boyfriend’s side as they walked inside and up to one of the kiosks to order.

“Anything you want baby boy.” Spencer whispered, and Corey gingerly punched in his order. The older man did the same, before looking the order over and then glancing back at Corey. “You’re not getting hotcakes?”

Corey felt called out, of course the man would notice that his favourite item was missing. But regardless, he didn’t want Reid spending too much money on him. Before he could protest, his boyfriend punched the extra item in and then proceeded to pay.

“No, wait…” Corey muttered, reaching out to try and cancel. Spencer gently swatted his hand away and tapped his credit card to the receiver, the receipt printing with their order number.

“Baby boy, my treat I said. You can pay another time when you’re feeling better.”

Corey nodded, letting out a small huff as they stood together and waited for the number to be called.

When Reid went to collect their take-out bags, Corey followed him and grabbed as much of the order he could.

“You pay, I carry. You’re also driving.” Corey pointed out, and Spencer reluctantly agreed. Together they made their way to Spencer’s apartment, where both of them collapsed on the couch and began to eat, enjoying their treat and cuddling together to let the time pass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like McDonald's too much for my own good (and for my wallet lol). This fic is almost done :(
> 
> But you are all amazing as always and I just wanted to say thank you for the continued support on it!


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corey is recovering for a different reason now, and both him and Spencer are getting much closer. 
> 
> TW: mentions of a relapse, self-harm and blood (only one small paragraph, the rest is fluff)

A few months later, Corey was once again laying at home in recovery. This time not from any injury in the field. He lay on the couch, letting the spring sun shine into his living room while the bandages on his chest itched slightly under his shirt.

But he was euphoric all the same. For the first time in his life, he felt semi-comfortable in his body. His voice had dropped significantly the longer he’d been on testosterone, and now he was home from his top surgery.

The front door unlocked, and footsteps entered the house. He could hear the alarm system beep as it was disabled, and then his boyfriend’s voice came.

“Hey love, how are you?”

“Okay,” Corey muttered, trying to adjust his position, “you?”

“Not bad,” Reid sighed as he sat by Corey’s feet, “I got Hotch to let me go early. But, I got these for us to work through.”

He held up a small stack of case files and they both let out a small chuckle. Reid opened the first one and started reading. They sat together, discussing preliminary profiles for each case. Reid wrote them down and tucked them into each folder, and once they were done he smiled and got up to make them dinner.

It had been a rough few months, neither could deny that. But both were happy with how far they had come. Spencer had moved in a month after their conversation, and it meant both good and bad things for Corey.

On one hand, he now had to clean the house a lot more. His boyfriend often would get lost in thought and leave small messes around the house. But on the other hand, Spencer had been there when he had relapsed.

There had been warning signs in the days prior, not that Reid would notice them. But Corey had, and he didn’t mention anything. So when he couldn’t sleep, and found himself in the bathtub with blood running down his arms, he was terrified. His chest still tightened at the memory of his heaving breaths, and Reid running into the room with wide eyes filled with fear.

Corey had expected him to lash out, be angry and leave. Instead, he helped clean the cuts, bandage them and lift Corey out of the tub and back to bed. They stayed awake for a while, just laying in the silence as both cried softly.

_“I don’t expect you to heal by yourself, so let me help you.”_

His words still rang in Corey’s mind when he felt close to that state, and how he had managed to find someone as wonderful as Spencer Reid he would never know.

“...Corey?”

His boyfriend’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see the taller man standing there with two plates in hand.

“Sorry, just thinking.”

“It’s fine,” Reid chuckled as Corey sat up and he took his place next to him, “I guess I’m rubbing off on you.”

They both ate in a comfortable silence, only being broken by a few comments from Spencer on how work had been and what people were up to.

“Are you still okay to drive me tomorrow?” Corey asked as he finished, remembering his therapy appointment in the morning.

“Yeah, when are you cleared to come back again?”

“Three more days,” Corey groaned as he stretched and felt the bandages tug his skin slightly, “which is three too many. I can’t just lay here alone all day and not get bored...can I please come in and stay with Penny? She doesn’t mind me being there?”

Spencer laughed and ruffled his hair before picking up both plates and taking them to the kitchen to wash them.

“You have to clear that with Hotch, baby boy.”

Corey blushed at the pet name, Reid had started using it more often, especially at home and it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

“Okay, I’ll call him then.”

He grabbed his cellphone off the coffee table and quickly found Hotch’s work number. The unit chief always stayed later than any of them, for reasons Corey would never fully understand. It had been about a week since Corey had seen the other man, as he had taken time off prior to and after his surgery.

“Hotchner.” The deep voice that was so familiar answered.

“Hey Hotch, it’s Corey.”

“How are you feeling?” Hotch sounded calmer already, and Corey could detect a sense of relief in his voice.

“Much better actually.”

“Good, what can I do for you?”

“Well…” Corey glanced to Reid who just smiled, “I’m almost through with my recovery and I was hoping I’d be able to come in tomorrow?”

“Corey, you’re not cleared to be in the field.”

“I know! But could I stay with Garcia and help from there?”

There was a pause, clearly Hotch could tell how desperate Corey was to no longer be trapped at home.

“Alright, but at your own limit. If you need to go home, then don’t stay.”

“Thank you!” Corey said, before ending the call with a promise to speak with the team tomorrow.

Spencer smiled before helping him to his feet and bringing him to the bathroom. It had become a nightly routine during the recovery from his surgery. He climbed into the tub, and his boyfriend gently removed the bandages covering his fresh scars.

Slowly, Reid sponged down his chest before letting him soak in the warm water for a minute.

“You look pretty well healed, let’s leave the bandages off for now.”

Corey cheered softly, a small victory for them both. He climbed out of the bath and toweled himself dry while Spencer hopped in to take a shower.

He waited on the bed for his boyfriend, just wearing his boxers and glancing down at his now flat chest. It had been a dream of his for so long, and now that dream was finally a reality.

The older man emerged from the bathroom, his hair still damp and small droplets of water clinging to his topless chest. Corey smiled at his boyfriend, standing up and wrapping his arms around his neck.

“Do you know how much I love you?”

“Nearly as much as I love you?” Reid teased and Corey hit his chest playfully before tilting his head up so his lips could meet his boyfriend’s.

“Seriously,” Corey pulled away to whisper, afraid to break the silence, “I love you so much.”

“And I love you baby boy.”

With those words, his lips were back on Corey’s. They didn’t separate, and Reid’s hands slowly travelled down to grab at Corey’s thighs. He sighed into the kiss before pushing off the ground, Reid catching him and walking with him over to their bed.

He layed Corey down, still not separating their lips as Corey’s fingers tangled in Spencer’s long hair. He tugged on the strands wrapped between his fingers, and the older man moaned into the kiss.

“If you keep this up, I won’t be able to stop baby boy.”

“I’m counting on it...Doctor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is spicy ;)


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer and Corey had a great night together ;)
> 
> This is pure smut for those who want it. It doesn't affect the plot in any way. If you want to skip it's fine, but for those who read I hope you enjoy.

_He layed Corey down, still not separating their lips as Corey’s fingers tangled in Spencer’s long hair. He tugged on the strands wrapped between his fingers, and the older man moaned into the kiss._

_“If you keep this up, I won’t be able to stop baby boy.”_

_“I’m counting on it...Doctor.”_

Reid’s lips latched onto Corey’s neck, biting and sucking marks into the pale skin. Corey moaned softly, tilting his head to the side to give his boyfriend more access. The taller man chuckled against his skin before pulling away, drawing a whine out of Corey.

“So needy baby boy.”

Corey nodded, and Spencer smiled before moving down to attack the other side of his neck. Corey gasped, his arms firmly wrapped around Spencer’s neck while his legs wrapped around his waist, pulling them closer together so he could feel his boyfriend pressed up against him.

“Missed you.” Corey whispered, and Reid pulled off of him to kiss him once more before pulling away.

Before Corey could whine again, Spencer put a finger over his mouth and leaned forward.

“Patience baby, I’ll take good care of you.”

He pulled away again, standing up to walk over to the dresser and pull open a familiar drawer to Corey.

While Spencer looked through the drawer, Corey discreetly tried to rub his thighs together in the hope of gaining some friction to ease the heat and neediness growing inside of him. 

He both loved and hated how submissive he was. It was so nice to give in and let Spencer take him wherever he pleased, but it also led to an endless amount of teasing and torture.

“What are you doing?” Spencer’s voice brought him back down to reality, and a light tap on his thigh made him shuffle and open his legs once more.

It wasn’t enough to hurt, they were both very aware and conscious of each other’s boundaries. Spencer in particular was cautious with Corey, though you could never tell with the confidence and ease that he exuded.

Since Corey still hadn’t gotten his bottom surgery, he could get incredibly dysphoric and drop into a sharp decline if mishandled, they had learned that the hard way. After that incident, Spencer learned every way to please, tease and satisfy Corey without making him dysphoric or even that aware of what was happening because of how pleasurable it all was.

“‘m sorry.” Corey whimpered as Spencer settled between his legs and moved his hands to the waistband of Corey’s boxers.

“It’s okay baby, let me take care of you.”

He tapped Corey’s hip, and once Corey had barely lifted off the mattress he pulled them down and off in a quick motion. Discarding them to the floor, his hands ran up and down his thighs, dipping close to where Corey needed attention but not giving it to him.

Corey squirmed below Spencer, desperate for any form of contact. But he ignored the smaller man’s movements, instead moving up his chest and running his finger over Corey’s newly restructured chest.

The light touch would have normally tickled, but now it just further turned Corey on. Reid’s fingers pulled at Corey’s nipples, watching as he gasped and writhed on the sheets.

As Reid continued to play with him, Corey’s hands fisted the sheets. Eventually, Reid’s fingers dragged down his torso and gently flicked over Corey’s dripping entrance.

“So wet baby boy.” Reid cooed into Corey’s ear.

“Only for you sir.” he whispered, making his boyfriend hum in approval.

Spencer’s long fingers moved up and down Corey’s entrance, coating his fingers before pushing his middle finger into Corey and watching for a reaction.

Corey’s mouth fell open, and he arched his back as Spencer pumped his finger in and out of him. Moans dripped from his mouth, mixed with small pleas and whispers that filled the room and made Spencer just want to hear more.

“Keep making those noises baby, you know I love them.”

Corey nodded, grinning as Spencer added a second finger and increased the pace of his thrusts.

“Yes, thank you sir!” Corey moaned as he writhed and gasped.

Reid continued his vicious pace, his fingers moving as fast as they could before crooking up and hitting the spot that made him scream and clench around his fingers.

“Close baby boy?”

“Yes sir, can I please cum?”

“Of course.”

Spencer didn’t slow down, pumping his fingers in and out until Corey gasped for air and came around his fingers. He slowly pulled them out of Corey before bringing them up to his mouth. Reid growled as he sucked his fingers clean, before tugging his pants off and pumping his dick a few times.

“Sit up baby boy.”

Corey took a few slow breaths, before sitting up and taking over for Reid’s hand. He watched the older man’s head fall back, and he groaned as his hand wove its way into Corey’s hair.

“Sir, can I suck you off?” Corey asked desperately, so willing to submit to Reid that he would do nearly anything the other man asked.

“You can for a while, but surely you want me to fuck you?”

“Yes please.” Corey panted, and Spencer nodded before guiding his mouth down towards his waiting dick.

He opened his mouth and let the taller man guide him down, and he took Reid into his mouth. His lips wrapped around his boyfriend’s dick and lowered himself down until he was hitting the back of his throat. Then he pulled up almost to the tip, and continued the action over and over again.

Spencer’s grip tightened on his hair, continuing to guide Corey as he sucked and licked around and listened to his boyfriend’s growls and moans.

Finally, he pulled Corey off of him while panting. A layer of sweat covered both of them as Reid pushed Corey back onto the mattress and positioned himself between the smaller man’s legs.

“Please...fuck me sir.”

“Patience baby boy.” Reid grinned before lining himself up and pressing inside of Corey. “Shit...how are you still so tight baby?”

“All for you sir.” Corey smiled, but that smile fell apart as Reid began to move his hips. The desperate whines that passed his lips made Spencer groan and growl in response.

“You’re so pretty baby.”

Corey just moaned in response, gripping his boyfriend’s arms as Spencer increased his pace, snapping his hips forward. He worked to keep his pace, the sounds of their moans and panting breaths breaking the otherwise silent house.

“Sir…” Corey groaned as they both neared their edge, “I’m so close.”

“Wait for me baby boy.” Spencer muttered, his hips stuttering as he too reached his breaking point.

“Can’t sir...please.”

“Okay, cum for me baby.”

Together they both reached their highs, Spencer letting out a low moan before bending over and sucking one last hickey into Corey’s neck, while the smaller man tightened and squeezed around him, ensuring they both were at their peaks.

Slowly, Spencer pulled out of Corey and fell next to him on the bed, pulling him into a hug and kissing his forehead.

“You’re amazing Corey.”

“So are you Spence.” Corey muttered, exhausted from the prolonged pleasure he had just experienced.

“I’ll clean us up, and then we’ll get a good night’s sleep, yeah?”

Corey just hummed in agreement, words being more and more difficult for him to form as he came down from his high.

“Thank you sir.” he repeated as Spencer cleaned them both off and tucked him under the covers.

“You’re welcome, now come here and sleep.”

With those words, Corey snuggled into Reid’s chest, listening to his boyfriend’s heartbeat as he drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last one! It's long, so I hope you will all be satisfied with it :)


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team has a surprise for Corey, aka Spencer is a dream boyfriend who ropes his friends in to celebrate a major milestone for his partner.

The next day, the team had a case. Corey sat in Garcia’s room of computers, watching her move and type from screen to screen.

“How are you feeling?” she finally asked as she finished her cross-referencing, turning to Corey with a grin.

“Good, really good.”

“I can tell,” she giggled and Corey’s hand flew to his neck, “you missed one.”

"Shit." he muttered, ignoring his friend's laughter. "I'll be right back."

"Mmhmm, see you lover boy."

Corey was sure to snap a picture of his exposed neck in the bathroom mirror before applying more concealer to his neck.

Once the bruise was mostly invisible, he made his way back to Penelope's room. He sat in the back, casually eating her homemade cookies and pitching ideas to the team members whenever they called.

“You ever sleep?” Corey mumbled as he lay back in his chair and spun around. They had been there all day, and Garcia was on her fourth coffee.

“Not while you guys are awake, if you guys are taking a break then so do I. But Hotch needs me right now, the team needs me. So yeah, sleep only when you are back or asleep.”

Corey nodded before getting up to get his own coffee, and as he was waiting for the pot to fill his phone rang.

“Dorian.” he answered without checking who was calling.

“Hey baby boy.” Reid’s voice whispered, and Corey’s stomach flipped in delight.

“Hi, what’s up?”

There was a brief pause before Spencer responded.

“We’re just wrapping up here. Garcia said you stepped out for a minute?”

“Yeah, you found him already?”

“We got an address, Hotch asked me to stay here and wait for the arrest.”

“Oh, I left for like two minutes…” Corey mumbled, upset that he hadn’t been able to contribute properly to the case.

Spencer let out a small sigh, and Corey pressed the phone between his ear and shoulder as he poured his cup of coffee. Mixing in his milk and sugar, he heard Reid speaking again.

“Rossi is inviting the whole team over tomorrow to spend the day together. You think you’ll be up for it?”

“If you let me sleep tonight.” Corey muttered, and Spencer’s laugh reached his ear.

“I can’t promise it baby boy, but I’ll try.”

Corey rolled his eyes but chuckled anyways.

“I’ll be waiting here for you.”

After exchanging goodbyes, Corey sipped his coffee and walked back to see Penelope, who was raving about the team meeting and trying to decide what she was going to wear.

“Should I be more subtle with Rossi?”

“He knows you’re unique, I don’t think he’ll care.” Corey said as they both sat and sipped their coffees.

“Did you get any details about why we’re meeting?”

“I think it’s just to hang out.” Garcia muttered, her eyes flicking back and forth. Corey squinted at her, knowing full well that she was lying. But he chose not to press the issue. He would find out when the team intended for him to find out.

\---

Arriving with Spencer at Rossi’s place, Corey felt more and more anxious. Everyone else’s cars were already in the driveway, and his mouth fell open when he realized that Rossi hadn’t lied. He really did live in a mansion.

Spencer walked around the car, holding a hand out to Corey. He took it, walking quietly next to his boyfriend as they stopped at the front door and knocked once.

Rossi opened the door, grinning and inviting them inside. Corey grew more anxious, as no other teammates were waiting by the front door to greet them or even say hello. His grip on Reid’s hand tightened and the taller man stopped.

“We’ll be there in one minute Rossi.” Reid smiled to the older man who nodded before giving them some space. “What is it?”

“I don’t like surprises…” Corey whispered, and Reid kissed him gently before pulling him into a hug.

“It’s nothing bad, I promise. Do you trust me?”

Corey nodded before letting out a slow breath. He followed his boyfriend into the lounge, where the whole team was waiting for them.

“Uh, hi guys.” Corey said, tucking his hands in his pockets to hide their shaking.

No one spoke for a few seconds, until Emily jumped to her feet and ran over to hug him.

“Congratulations Corey.” she said with a grin, and a sudden realization hit him with what this was all about.

“My man,” Derek smiled as Emily pulled away, “it’s good to see you.” He walked over and hugged him briefly before sitting back on the couch.

“I baked.” Penelope called, gesturing to the coffee table filled with cupcakes and assorted cookies. The cupcakes spelled out:  _ Congrats Corey! _

“I wanted them to say something more like ‘So long boobs’, but no one else liked it.” Emily grinned, and Corey let out a laugh, easing the mood of the room.

Reid moved to take a cookie, the rest of the team relaxing as they drank and chatted. Corey took a seat between JJ and Hotch, smiling as he looked around the room. This team had become family to him, a family he never thought he’d get.

“I wanted to offer my congratulations,” Hotch smiled, “a year ago when you walked into my office, you were a different man. You’ve become more confident in yourself, you’ve become an excellent profiler, and a vital member of this team.”

“Thank you Aaron.” Corey grinned, knowing it was one of the few times he could get away with calling the unit chief by his first name.

Rossi disappeared from the room for a minute, and Corey raised an eyebrow. He got up to follow him, but Spencer stopped him and brought him into his conversation with Emily and Derek.

That was until Rossi reappeared and cleared his throat, inviting them all to join him outside on the patio. Everyone got up, grinning at Corey who just looked scared again. His stomach twisted into knots as he followed them cautiously, knowing that they had clearly planned more surprises for him to celebrate his top surgery.

“Alright,” Rossi grinned as they walked outside to the spring sun, “now Spencer here has told me that one of your favourite things to do when you were young was swim in a local lake. Now, I’m too sanitary for that, so I’m happy to announce that today marks the opening of my pool for the year.”

The team cheered, and Corey moved forward to hug Rossi.

“Thank you.”

“Of course kid, now get changed and go join the kids.”

“Kids?” Corey muttered, looking past Rossi to see two young boys already in the pool, with another man supervising from the side of the pool.

JJ laughed as one kid climbed out and came running up towards them, and Corey quickly realized that the children were Henry and Jack. Will, JJ’s husband, was watching them and waved up to Corey, who returned the gesture.

He turned back to Spencer, who was holding up a cloth bag with a sheepish grin, and he followed his boyfriend into the house to change into his swim shorts. As Reid packed their clothes back into the bag, Corey gazed at his chest in the mirror and felt a swell of pride.

This was his dream, something he never thought would happen. Spencer’s arms wrapped around his waist, and he pressed a kiss into Corey’s neck.

“C’mon baby, let’s go swim.”

\---

Corey spent most of his time with Spencer and the two boys, swimming around and playing games. They teamed up with Henry to splash his parents sitting on the side of the pool, and Jack managed to get Derek decently soaked at one point with a well-timed cannonball.

Emily, Derek and Penelope stayed close to the edge of the pool, sharing drinks and talking with Reid and Corey when they weren’t distracted by the young rascals trying to mess with them.

Hotch had gotten in at first to play with Jack for a while, but now was drying off on the pool deck. Rossi lay tanning in the sun, a drink in hand and sunglasses hiding his eyes.

“Is he dead?” Corey whispered to Reid, who cracked up before sending Henry over to check.

“You’re both great with kids.” Emily commented, and Penelope gasped as her brain went wild.

“Oh my gosh, the offspring of you two would be cute baby geniuses with hearts of gold!”

“Yeah, um…” Corey suddenly felt very awkward, and Spencer moved to stand a bit closer to him, “I don’t plan on kids anytime soon. Besides...biological kids would be difficult after I get bottom surgery.”

Penelope seemed disappointed, Derek seemed slightly confused, but Emily just nodded and took a drink.

“And we’ve only been together for six months Emily,” Spencer grinned, “it’s a little early no?”

She shrugged, but smiled all the same. Her glance moved across the pool, and Corey followed it to see JJ getting up to get into the pool with Henry. Will stayed where he was, opting to take photographs.

Corey sighed, moving to his friend’s side and squeezing her hand.

“You ever going to take my advice?”

“Probably not,” Emily muttered, “even though I should.”

He nodded, patting her hand reassuringly before arms wrapped around him and he was being thrown into the water. As he broke the surface, he saw Spencer and Derek howling with laughter.

“Jack, Henry, get them!” Corey called, and both boys sprung into action. Henry took on Reid, while Jack ran up behind Derek and pushed him into the pool.

It was Corey’s turn to laugh when both men came up spluttering slightly, while everyone else laughed and watched as Derek started chasing both kids out of the pool and to their respective fathers.

The afternoon continued in a similar fashion, with all the snacks from inside being brought to the patio for people to eat at their leisure. Eventually, Hotch got up and moved towards the large grill to the side of the pool. Rossi emerged from the house with a plate of burgers and hotdogs, leaving them with the unit chief.

“You don’t grill?” Corey asked, leaning his arms on the edge of the pool.

“I’m Italian,” Rossi answered, his tone almost offended, “the grilling and whatnot is all you Americans.”

Hotch laughed as he began cooking the food, and Spencer helped usher the kids out to get them dried in time for dinner. Corey took up a seat next to Penelope, who wrapped a towel around his shoulders.

Eventually, everyone made their way to the large table on the patio. Dinner was served, and before they could all eat Spencer stood up with a glass in hand.

“I just wanted to say, none of this would have been possible without the person we’re celebrating.” He smiled down at Corey who blushed but squeezed his hand. “Corey has brought the team insightful information and great performance, but also more love and care than anyone could ask for. I know I speak for everyone when I say that Corey,” he spoke directly to him now, “you complete this team, this family. And we will all be here for you through the rest of your transition, and anything that follows. The same way you have already shown to be there for us.”

“To Corey!” Rossi toasted, and everyone raised their glasses in unison, echoing his call.

“Can I eat now?” Henry asked, and the adults all laughed before obliging him.

\---

After dinner, both children were clearly fighting sleep. JJ and Hotch put their respective children inside in one of Rossi’s spare bedrooms.

Meanwhile outside, Penelope was fiddling with her phone and a bluetooth speaker she had produced from her purse. Finally, she set it down and grinned as she pressed play and slow music began to fill the air.

Spencer offered his hand to Corey, who grinned and followed his boyfriend to the center of the small dance floor they had put together. He held both of Spencer’s hands, resting his head on his chest as they swayed to the music in near perfect harmony. Emily joined on the dance with Penelope, less intimate than Corey and Spencer, but still adorable.

Eventually Emily moved to steal Corey away, and Derek took her place with Penelope. Everyone just danced with each other, enjoying the cool night air and the calm feeling that settled over the area.

When Corey happened to glance at his boyfriend’s watch and noticed that it was past midnight, he was shocked. Hotch happened to also notice the time, and told everyone they had the day off, before leaving to collect Jack and get home. JJ and Will left next, and the six remaining moved inside.

“I just wanted to thank you all again for all of this.” Corey said as he tried to suppress a yawn.

“Of course, honestly any reason to get everyone together and celebrate is an opportunity we’ll take.” Emily smiled, leaning back against the couch.

“Now, I don’t mean to be rude,” Rossi muttered from an armchair, “but it is now close to 1 a.m. and you’re all still in my house.”

“Sorry old man,” Derek chuckled before getting to his feet and pulling Penelope up with him, “we’ll get out of your hair.”

Rossi walked them all to the door, hugging them once more before shutting the door. They all laughed at his behaviour, but everyone knew it was time to go home.

“Have a good night guys!” Derek waved as he opened the door for Penelope and then getting in the driver's seat.

Emily moved to her car, but Corey stopped her. She looked at him with slightly wide eyes, clearly caught off guard.

“Text me when you’re home safe. I know it’s been a while since you drank anything with alcohol, but...please?”

“Of course.”

“And...text me if anything comes up.”

Emily gave him a knowing look, but agreed before getting into her car and driving off. Spencer and Corey both stayed quiet for the car ride home, only speaking when they were safe inside their home.

“You didn’t have to plan all of that.” Corey muttered as he got undressed and ready for bed.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Spencer feigned innocence, but still avoiding Corey’s gaze.

“I know it was you, but…I am grateful. I haven’t felt like part of a family for a while.”

They both got into bed, Corey snuggling into Reid’s chest and listening to his heartbeat. There was a minute of silence, before Reid spoke again.

“I’m glad you liked it.”

Corey looked up and met his boyfriend’s eyes, before leaning up to steal a kiss from his lips.

“I love you Spencer Reid.”

“I love you Corey Dorian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of this journey folks! I want to reiterate how grateful I am for everyone's support and love throughout this fic, each comment and kudo means the whole world to me. I will be working on a sequel of sorts, it's a collection of shorts with our lovely duo and all the adventures they continue to have. If you have any recommendations for them, drop a comment and I'll look it over and credit you if I write it.


End file.
